Chaos in the Cavity of Peace (Love in Mendiola Series #1)

Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

KEECIA

"Baby, please, you have to calm down," Caine was panicking as he tried to soothe me, his trembling hand rubbing circles on my back. "You can't exert yourself like this."

But I can't stop. No matter how much he tried to comfort me, I couldn't stop the flood of tears streaming down my face. It only seemed to intensify my hysteria. I don't think anything can stop my pain. It's unbearable, unconsolable... Para akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa. Everything in me is shattered.

Pilit kong iniintindi kung paano nangyari ang lahat ng ito, pero hindi pa rin eh... Hindi ko lubos mawari kung bakit nangyayari ito sa akin.

I really thought we were being careful. I never missed my shots and I took them regularly. Kaya bakit ako pa? Ano ang ginawa kong mali para mangyari sa akin ito? Did I deserve this? Was I being punished? How did it come to this? And why did I survive, only to be destroyed by this?

Pakiramdam ko binuhay lang ulit ako para patayin ng ganito. Nagpapasalamat pa ako nung una na nagising ako, pero ngayon... hindi ko na alam. The accident may have spared me from death, but hearing about our lost baby killed me. It hurt more than any of my physical injuries. Sobrang wasak na wasak ako.

I know that it wasn't in our current plan... having a baby. But I would have loved him or her unconditionally. I would have embraced our baby with open arms, wholeheartedly accepting their existence. I would have willingly put aside all my own plans to prioritize their well-being, no matter the circumstances.

And I can't accept the fact that in just a blink of an eye, my baby... our precious little one was gone... just like that.

God, I didn't realize how much I wanted it until I no longer had it... I never even had the chance to acknowledge their existence or honor them before they were gone. It hurts so much... and I have nothing else to blame but myself. If only I had been more cautious... if only I had taken better care of myself, this would never happen and our baby might've still been here.

"Kasalanan ko..." I choked out between sobs, my voice barely audible. "Our baby's gone... because of me..."

"No. Don't say that," angal ni Caine gamit ang matikas na boses. "It wasn't your fault, okay? Listen to me, it's not your fault, so don't blame yourself."

I shook my head repeatedly as he said those words. They weren't enough to convince me.

Kasabay noon ay ang pagbukas ng pinto sa aking kwarto. My family just rushed in, their faces etched with concern and alarm as they take in the situation.

"What's happening?" Mommy demanded as she rushed to my side, her voice a mixture of worry and sadness. Sumunod sakaniya si daddy at sabay nila akong inalo.

"She found out about the baby—" I could hear Kuya Sam answering.