Nobody Gets Me.

5

: lyric wants to know if she can get dropped off.

: if not, it's fine, i'll take her to her boyfriend.

: hey, are you okay? i haven't heard from you in a minute.

: i'm taking her to her boyfriend, she's rushing.

i waited for lyric to come out of the house before we headed out. she doesn't want to stay at home alone while i got to work so we were trying to figure out who she would go with. it was between onika and miles because i don't want her going anywhere else. but onika has been ignoring me i guess. we're back to square one. i'm not sure if i'm blocked or not but that's what it seems like.

"did mommy answer?"

"no. why won't you call her yourself?"

"i was just asking you to while i went to get my stuff. i'll do it. i thought you guys were on good terms now. no?" she pulled out her phone and i guess started contacting onika.

i thought we were on good terms as well but maybe not. i remember us kissing so maybe that's why she won't answer me. it was a huge mistake to her i'm sure. not to me though, i'm happy. haven't felt those lips in four years, i'm glad.

"hello? mom."

my face dropped. i called her twice and texted, she didn't answer not once. that kind of hurt. she'll answer the kids with absolutely no problem.

"can i get dropped off to you? i'm not trying to stay home while momma goes to work."

i'd drove off by now and was just going to a store while she figured that out. i'm kind of sad that i'm being ignored because i really thought we would be moving up in a friendship soon. although we may have to talk again while sober because a drunk talk shouldn't count.

"she said i can come ma."

"ok...ask her why didn't she text me back? and is she okay?"

lyric repeated what i said while i went inside the store. i'm sure the response won't even be what i'm looking for so it can wait. i just grabbed some snacks for lyric and an orange juice.

when i got back in she was off the phone and just sitting there on her phone.

"she said she's fine thanks for asking."

"why didn't she text me back?"

"she didn't say."

i nodded stiffly and drove off towards her house. i'll just go up to the door when we get there. i've never been in her house since she moved so this should be fun. i'm serious about making things better between us, i don't care about that new girl. they don't need each other in my eyes. if they were healthy and really good together then i would chill and respect it. but they're far from that. it's really sad.

when i pulled up i saw two cars. that means the girl is here. so. i still got out with lyric and she looked at me funny.

"you've never gotten out..."

"i know. new beginnings right?"

"i guess." the door opened and it was the girl. she had a huge smile but it dropped at me. i smiled while waving but she just looked between lyric and i. "ummm don't be looking at my momma like that."

"oh this is your mom!? i thought she was like a sister."

"mmhm." lyric stepped in but i stood there. i don't want to just walk in without seeing onika anywhere.

"is onika home?"

"yea she's upstairs asleep. you can go up if you'd like."

"really?" i looked at her with a small frown. she's gonna let me up to onikas room on my own? does this girl know that i used to fuck on onika? i highly doubt it if she's just gonna let me up there.

but i took that chance and stepped in.

"last room on the right."

"thank you." i went up and took in the hallway decorations. one room door was open and i knew by the colors coming from it that it was lyrics room. she loves orange....

she last room on the right door was closed so i lightly knocked before stepping in. definitely sleeping. that was quick as if she didn't just get off of the phone with lyric.

the further i went in the more i could tell they'd just finished being nasty. i know onikas smell. that may seem weird but it's true. when we were together i used to be able to smell her arousal quickly.

there were clothes on the floor and i chuckled. this girl really be putting her to sleep like this.

"onika."

"baby i'm so sore. like i don't know why that made you so mad but- what the fuck?!" she sat up in a push up like position before jumping harshly. i just watched her roll up in the cover with a scrunched face. her hair. "what are you doing in here?! why are you here?!"

"i just wanted to check on you.... we haven't spoke in a while.. since we went out."

"we hadn't spoken to each other for months before that and you've never popped up like that."

"yea, well...you know why i'm here this time. we should talk."

"that was a mistake, let it go."

"was it really?....i still want to have a real talk."

she rolled her eyes and got out of her bed. i watched her pick up the clothes around the floor and throw them in a hamper.

"we talked. i remember what you said and i remember what i replied with. no need to talk again."

"why not? we were drunk. just because you remember doesn't mean i do."

"i'm over us beyoncé. you said fuck me for some dick, i could never go back to you. and then you had a baby by him, hell no. i love rumi with everything in me but i can't get over you doing that."

"onika that was a mistake."

"just like us kissing was a mistake. you want me to let your mistakes go, let the kiss go and let us go."

"i'm not doing that. i know you onika."

"if you know me so well you would do what i really want."

i raised an eyebrow.

"you want me to prove to you that you're worth the world to me...i'll do that. i'm not letting over ten years of us go to waste."

"do what you feel is best."

"so i have your permission?"

"you're grown, do what you want."

"ok. have a good day onika."

"bye."