Nobody Gets Me.

35

i'm honestly not upset but i do have an issue with lauren. she's been trying us for a little minute but of course onika is so crazy she doesn't really pay attention. i think she know that she's not scared of anything so she doesn't really put too much of her focus on bullshit. because that's all lauren is. but that's also bad because things happen and then she's in her feelings about it since she didn't already notice it.

that's why i'm here though. to help her realize things when she doesn't.

she's been being extra close since that happened and i'm not even mad at it. we talked, she cried, i made her feel better. it's all cool. the topic of us being official again even came up. it made my heart jump with joy. but i didn't want her to just jump into it because something happened. so we agreed to give it a little time and if she still feels the same way then we can make it official.

but i love her. we've been through something outrageous already and i don't want something small like this to turn into something big like what i did. that would kill me.

"come with me."

"where?" i looked at her and she didn't look like she was going anywhere important. her hair was everywhere and she had on sweats with a tank top. so it confused me. onika doesn't really go out looking a mess.

"to my building, i have a meeting."

"no offense but you're going like that? is this important?"

"not really.....i'm just breaking the contract with lo."

"no." i sat up quick. she's never broken a contract and i don't need her doing that because of me. i'm not even upset! onika never does that. "no don't do that."

"it's for the better bey, it's not that serious." she mumbled going to the mirror to look at herself. i guess she realized how much of a mess she looked so she started to brush her hair into a ponytail.

"onika you can't do that."

"why can't i? that girl has caused enough problems. it's only a matter of time until we're fighting in my yard again. i have enough on me bey."

"onika it's fine, you don't have to do that. you've never done it before...."

"there's a first time for everything." she went in her drawer and started to change. i just watched her. breaking that contract will put a label on her and she knows it. "are you gonna come with me?"

"yea but...don't do it."

"beyoncé im doing it."

"nooo. you're making me feel bad nic, don't do that. you wouldn't have ever done anything like that, don't do it now. think about what the media will say." that's the only thing that'll get in her head, so i had to use that. she's big on her reputation.

"ion care no more. if i keep her then my reputation will most likely get worse. what's wrong with breaking a contract anyways?"

"ask yourself that nic. you're the one that never did it so....don't do it cause of me."

"it's not cause of you." she took her shirt off revealing her bra. it's like hearts jumped out my eyes literally. i got off the bed going to her. "it's not bey."

"it is though. if you wouldn't have felt like i was upset, you wouldn't even be going on with this."

"no....i wanna be with you and i don't want any issues in between. so i'm doing this for my sanity. i'll go fucking crazy if i mess up during our relationship beyoncé, you know how i am. so it's best that i have nothing to do with her."

i sighed because it made sense but still, she's never broken a contract. that's one, a lot of money and two, something she's never done! i can't stress that enough. it would really hurt me to know that she did something like that.