Nobody Gets Me.

20

i don't know how....but i overbooked. now i have four girls coming by today to be sized for their prom dresses. best thing about it all is that they know each other and are friends. their dresses are similar since they're showing up to prom together. i really admire friendships like that. it's really amazing. it makes me ready for lyrics senior year. but at the same time it makes me emotional.

but...what makes today so stressful it that it's chelle's birthday. we never miss each others parties so i can't miss this tonight. so i'm trying to be on a roll with finishing work fast today.

on top of the dresses i have two meetings. one of them online and the other is at an office. i'm trying....i really am. it's already known that i'll be late to things but i know i'll be very very late. depending on the time i finish sizing these girls.

the online meeting is first and i have no idea how long that is gonna be. i know for sure they wanna talk about selling designs. i've been working on this one and they were interested in it. when people contact me about things like selling my designs, i send them ones i'm working on. whichever one they find interest in is the only one we'll focus on.

i got my computer, iPad and notebook before setting up in my office. i'm prepared for the meeting but...they're not on. it's a thing through zoom, something i hate using.

being that i'm on a tight schedule i can't have any late showings. it's messing with my day.

there was a knock on the door and i groaned taking the pen from under my nose and standing to open it. it was lyric with messy hair, tears in her eyes and pajamas on. i heard the bell signaling that the others have joined and i pulled her in while shushing.

"just sit here okay? don't...cry out or anything." i moved quickly to the seat while smiling to play off me being away.

"hi, it's nice to be meeting with you all. thank you all for your interest."

that was draining. it took way too long, the girls are here to be sized. bey led them to the basement where everything is done. now i'm rushing to go down, but then talk to my daughter.

"ok, what is it baby? you've been sitting here for a minute just crying..." i sat next to her while sorting out papers. two birds one stone.

"momma why does he hate me so much?"

"who...baby? who hates you? nobody hates you." i paused everything because there's only one person she can be talking about. it's been years since i've last had to deal with anything pertaining to him.

"him....my dad."

"why do you feel like that? did you talk to him?"

"yea....i'm sorry, i know i wasn't supposed to but, there's this father daughter dance and i just thought he would at least want to try and be there..? i don't know it's dumb but he just said some things that upset me a whole lot."

"what'd he say?"

"i don't want you to get upset though. and don't tell mommy, please?"

"it's me and you right now, you know i won't."

"he said that i wasn't on his mind...and that the dance wouldn't be a genuine memory so just don't worry about it. he didn't say it rudely but it's still the fact."

"ok i'm gonna tell you the same thing i always tell you. fuck him. now i am upset with you for even trying that shit but i understand...fuck him baby....ma has to go work right now but i want you to always remember that i'm here. the same way i showed up when you were younger, i will now. i love you." i kissed the corner of her lips and rushed towards the door.