and they were roommates (dreamnap)

4- feelings or lust?

~the skyline falls as i try to make sense of it all~
good looking, suki waterhouse

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sapnaps pov
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me and karl were walking around campus together.  i was using this moment to get away from dream because all of these thoughts about him and i were taunting me.

"we fucking kissed! he's my best friend and we made out on his bed and moved on like it never happened." i complained to karl. he sighed in return.

"do you think your feelings for him are stronger now?" karl asked me. i looked as though he was batshit crazy.

"what do you mean?" i asked him. he sighed again in disappointment.

"do you want to be in a relationship with him even more after that experience or do you feel numb towards it?" karl asked me. i tried to think about it.

it felt fucking amazing, don't get me wrong. i don't want to forget that it happened and treat it as though it never happened.

fuck, i'd even do more with dream after that.

in all honesty, i couldn't tell whether or not i wanted to be with dream. i'm aware of my feelings but the moment felt more so like a fever dream.

"i think it's the same as it was. i still want to be with him but like, i don't know?" i explained to karl. he seemed to understand my confusion.

"i get that," i sighed. i have no idea how to feel about this. "do you think in the moment it was lust or real feelings?" karl asked me.

oh i had never made that connection.

"probably lust with very muffled feelings?" i guessed. karl shook his head. "fuck, i wish you knew how this stuff worked," karl said, slight annoyance in his voice.

i rolled my eyes. he hasn't been in this situation so he doesn't understand how i'm feeling.

i wanted to be with dream. i feel like i need to talk to him about this but like you know, commitment issues.

"do you even want to call him your boyfriend?" karl asked, breaking the silence and my thoughts. i stayed silent. i wasn't actually sure.

"maybe?"

"god, your commitment issues have commitment issues."

i sighed. this was really confusing. "why are you even asking that?" i asked karl. he sighed.

"because, you could be leading dream on if he maybe has feelings for you." karl told me. there's no way dream has feelings for me.

the moment wasn't that serious.

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time skip
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i was finishing up some of my homework that i've been needing to get done. i heard the door open and i looked up to see dream walk in.

i looked back down and continued my work. seeing dream wasn't any different now. we live together so i don't really care about seeing him.

"what are you up to?" dream asked me as he sat down on my bed across from me. "my work." i blankly said.

dream scoffed. "okay nerd, do you wanna go to this restaurant with me?" he asked me. i looked up at him. "i'm literally writing an essay and you think you would have to ask me that? of course i want to go." i told him.

dream smiled wildly at me. i closed my laptop (after saving my work, obviously) and got off my bed to put my shoes on.

dream stood with the same exact smile on his face. "come on slow poke!" he yelled jokingly. i looked up at him with a shocked face. "i'm gonna go even slower now." i joked. dream started laughing.

"nooo! go faster,"

i chuckled and tied my shoes. once i was done, i got up to go with dream to a restaurant.

"now i can take you on a date," dream 'joked'. i chuckled along with him, hiding how much i wished it was actually a date.

i think going on a date with dream would be nice.

he put his hand out in front of me. i furrowed my eyebrows at him. "if i'm bringing you on a date i should at least hold your hand." he said. i shrugged and held his hand.

i tried to brush off any thoughts of a relationship actually happening between us since i knew that it wouldn't happen.

a boy can dream i guess.

dream walked me to some restaurant that wasn't too far from campus. it was fancier than the usual microwaveable mac n cheese but not super fancy that we couldn't afford it.

we walked in and got a table and all of that restaurant shenanigans. we sat down across from each other.

dream smiled and held his hand out, asking if i wanted to hold it. i chuckled and placed my hand in his.

"awww." dream cooed. i rolled my eyes. "don't make me move my hand." i jokingly said. dream chuckled and playfully rolled his eyes. "now that would be the worst thing to ever happen to me." he joked.

i chuckled and smiled. i stared at his face the same way i did. before we made out that one time.

you know that one time.

i didn't know if today was going to be a repeat of that moment. i don't know if i want to escape it or something like that.

i know i definitely don't want to forget it.

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time skip
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dream and i were walking back to our dorm after our little 'date' which was really just dinner with your best friend.

dream and i reached a good distance from the building before he grabbed my chin and stopped me from walking.

"what?" i asked him curiously. he smiled at me. "you can't just take a fella on a date and not give him a kiss!" dream complained. i chuckled. this was my life now.

i sighed and pulled dream down to my height to softly peck his lips.

we pulled away and smiled at one another. "can i have another one? like, a long one?" dream asked me. i rolled my eyes.

i gave into what he wanted and pulled him back down to kiss me once more.

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words: 1030
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