and they were roommates (dreamnap)

13- not so happy holiday

~man i hate this part of texas, close my eyes, fantasize, three clicks and i'm home~
i know the end, phoebe bridgers

[this chapter takes place on monday, 2 days before dream originally said he would be home]

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sapnaps pov
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'you never know what you have until it's gone' has a whole new meaning now. i always seemed to disregard that saying but it's true.

i hate myself for telling him how i felt. maybe i would still have him.

i told karl about everything that's been happening and he told me that's how dream was and to just give him time.

well i've given it too much time. it's been 5 days and we haven't spoken to each other. i really want to talk to him and get his side and maybe we can work it out.

i'm just scared honestly. what if he hates me now? what if i've ruined his life?

i hate overthinking this, sucks that karl is sick of hearing me talk about it because it's the only thing on my mind.

i really wish i never said anything. i miss walking in the door and being greeted by dream kissing my face and saying nothing.

i really miss him but it's just too much to handle.

i put him on the spot too! i should have known better.

eventually, dream is going to have to come back in the dorm to get his stuff to go home.

it's weird being here by myself all of the time. i'd always have dream around to talk to me or give me something to do.

most of the time i just sleep in his bed or hang out with karl. i miss it being just me and him going on adventures.

i can't help but miss the little things about him and what he did. i don't know if he hates me now. after he left i've just been so scared of him coming back to tell me he hates me.

i sighed as i shut my laptop and put it in my bag. i began walking back to my dorm.

i don't know what i'll do when i'm there, i might just lay in dreams bed and sob like i normally do.

thank god today i wasn't too far from the dorm building so i didn't have to walk far. i reached the building and walked up the stairs.

i don't know how i'll do during the break, i'll be even further from dream at that point.

i opened the door to my dorm room and walked inside to see someone i wasn't expecting to see.

dream.

he was putting stuff into a bag and he must of heard the door because he looked over at me. i felt like i couldn't move.

we stared at each other but not in the way we used to before we would kiss. i opened my mouth to speak and hesitated on my words.

"hi dream." i finally managed to get out. dream stared at me, still shocked about what happened. "uhm, hi." he said awkwardly. i wanted to make a joke or something but i couldn't bring myself to.

i wanted to mention the night of when i made him go but now didn't seem like a good time to even refer to it.

i regained the feeling of being able to freely move my feet and i walked inside. dream looked away from me and went back to putting stuff into a bag.

i wanted to ask if he was going back home but i don't think i'm in a good state to talk to him in the slightest.

i sat down on my bed and pretended to do things on my phone. i watched dream throw the bag over his shoulder and walk out, leaving me alone.