Discovering My Past

Chapter 1- My Life is a Soap Opera

Isabella's POV

"Nope! Not again!" I say to myself as I turn the tv off.

Another damn romance movie just showing me exactly what I don't have. My long time boyfriend Tyler and I just called it quits a few weeks ago after finding out about his affair. It's no wonder I haven't been laid in 8 months. He was fucking around behind my back and I was too blind to see it. I am still so bitter about it. Part of it was my fault. My father died a year ago next week and I really went into a deep depression afterwards. I withdrew from Tyler quite a bit which is probably why he went elsewhere but it's no excuse. He should have had the decency to break things off with me first before running off with her. I don't even speak her name. I prefer to pretend she doesn't exist. It's easier that way.

To be honest even before dad died, things were starting to decline in our relationship. Our sex life was mediocre and we both were so busy with our work lives that we barely made any time for each other. It was inevitable that we were going to split eventually. But I do miss having someone to spend time with and to cuddle with at night sometimes. Tyler was my boyfriend and my best friend. I don't have any girl friends. Every girl I have tried to have friendships with over the years were so dramatic. The last girl friend I had was in high school and her betrayal hurt so much that I haven't even attempted to make new girl friends.

That was 10 years ago though. I know I need to get over it but she was my best friend and she stole my crush of my entire childhood right out from under me. After she acted like she was trying to get us together, she stole him and broke my heart. Tiffany Jenkins. I will never forget her name. Nor will I ever forget his. Jake Riley. God the things I wanted to do with him and what I wanted him to do with me in return. He was the hottest boy in school. He was a bit of a playboy too and he knew it. Apparently I am attracted to that type. He probably is still wild and care free and fun. I wanted him to be my first. But that never happened. We moved away my senior year of high school right after Tiffany stole him away. That's not why we moved of course it had to do with my dad's job, but after she did that to me it was easy to break ties with the city. I was eager to leave and never look back.

But here I am now, no love life, a dead-end job, and no friends. It's very depressing. I do miss the good times I had with Tyler after we first got together. We were inseparable. We had a blast together and the sex was decent too. We loved each other but it just wasn't enough in the end. Now I am in a relationship with my vibrator and it's not cutting the mustard anymore. Maybe I just need to find a fling. Just a one-time, meaningless fling. That will help me move on and get rid of some sexual frustration. But who in the hell would I get? Everyone I work with is either a total geek or married. I am not remotely attracted to any of them.

I groan in frustration as I fall back laying flat, sprawled out across my bed. I am 28 years old. I am still young. Something has to give eventually. Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing next to me. I notice my mom's name lit up across my screen.

"Hey mom." I answer.

"Hey sweetie. Is there any way you can come over tomorrow evening for dinner? Need to talk to you about a few things." She says.

"Ok...yeah I can come over. Is everything ok?"
I ask curiously.

"Yes dear. I will talk to you tomorrow. See you then."
She says as she hangs up.

Ok that was odd. Usually I can't get my mom off the phone. This time she hardly speaks. God I hope everything is ok. I can't take a repeat of my dad. Not again. My mental health won't be able to recover.

I toss and turn for a while before finally succumbing to my exhaustion. When I wake up the next morning, I spend the day running errands and doing things around my apartment that need to get done. It's the weekend so it's my time to take care of all that stuff since I work M-F 10-7. It leaves me very little time to do anything during the week.

The day flies by and soon enough I am heading to mom's for dinner. I have tried to not let my anxious thoughts consume me and worry about what mom has to say. It can't be that bad right? Ugh I hate this.

I let myself in the door and search for mom. I find her in the kitchen cooking. Mom always loves to cook. She tries to offer me free meals a few times a month so I always take advantage when she does. Plus it allows us to spend time together. I know she is very lonely since dad passed away and since I am new to being single it's good for me too.

"Hey mom." I say quietly but startle her in the process.

She gasps and spills some of the sauce she has in her hands on the floor.

"Geez Bella you scared the daylights out of me!" She yells.

"Sorry mom. Why are you so jumpy?" I ask.

"I just...nothing. So how are you?" She asks.

I can tell she is hiding something just not sure yet what.

"I am fine. Isaac isn't coming?" I ask.

"Not tonight dear. He was busy." She says.

Issac is my older brother. He always makes excuses why he can't spend time with mom. He infuriates me. We just lost our father and she is lonely and he is too busy with his career and bachelor life to see her. I went off on him about 6 months ago and I have seen him one time since. He can be mad at me all he wants to, but he shouldn't take it out on her.

We sit down to eat and for the first 10-15 minutes we are silent as we enjoy the food.

"Thanks mom for making my favorite." I tell her. She knows spaghetti is my favorite meal that she makes.

She just smiles back at me. It seems forced.

"Ok mom...something is up. What is it?" I ask. My curiosity is getting the better of me.

"Honey....it's hard to...what I am trying to....I...I.." She stutters and then begins to sob hysterically.

"Oh God mom what is wrong??" I ask now extremely worried.

"I need to tell you something. It may take me a few minutes to get it out." She says as she tries to gather herself.

"Ok mom." I say hesitantly. She is really scaring me.

"When your brother was about 3, your dad and I went though a rough patch. He was stressed out at work and I was depressed from dealing with a difficult toddler all day and having no help and alone time. We withdrew from one another. I decided to get a part time job as a receptionist at Winslow Enterprises and I put your brother in daycare on the days I would work just to give me a break." She begins.

Winslow enterprises was owned by James Winslow. He was a billionaire and he passed away about a month ago. It was all over the news. I had no idea mom had ever worked for him.

"Ok....I am trying to follow you." I say.

"Well Mr. Winslow was a wonderful man. He was generous, kind, and charming. Most rich men aren't like that but he was." She says with a smile.

Did my mother have a crush on James Winslow?

"Anyway, one evening I stayed late to help him with a project and one thing lead to another..." She says.

"Wait what!? What are you trying to tell me mom?" I ask upset.

"Honey....I....I...I slept with Mr. Winslow." She says.

Oh my God.