Discovering My Past

Chapter 2- Isabella Winslow?

Isabella's POV

I am in complete and utter shock. My mother is confessing she had an affair? What in the hell?

"Oh my Gosh mom! I can't believe you cheated on dad!"

"I have felt so guilty all these years. I never told him. I never told anyone. I made James swear not to tell him. I didn't want to break up my marriage. It was a moment of weakness. I loved your father." She cries.

"Mom, I understand having moments of weakness. But having just gotten out of a relationship where I was cheated on it's hard for me to be sympathetic." I tell her honestly.

"Bella it's not like I kept it going. It was a one time thing and I knew it was a mistake. He tried to convince me to leave your father but I couldn't. I had your brother and again I loved your dad!! I am not like Tyler. Tyler lied to you for months and kept doing things until he got caught!" She says upset by my comment.

I grimace a bit at that comment and she instantly regrets saying that.

"I am so sorry. I don't mean to put salt in the wound." She says.

"Ok mom fine. You had a one time slip up. But why confess now? Did you want to ease your guilty conscience? Dad is gone now. It's ok. I am sure he forgives you." I tell her honestly.

My dad was a very kind man. He wasn't spiteful. He would forgive her I am sure. That's just the man he was. I miss him.

"Honey, that's not the only reason I am saying this. About 6 weeks after I slept with James, I found out I was pregnant with you." She says beginning to cry again.

Oh God. No way.

"Are you saying that James Winslow was my real father?" I ask in shock.

"Well he could have been. Your father and I had slept together too. Close to the same time. He always just assumed you were his and I never told him any different. I did tell James though to be fair and he offered to be there and help financially but I declined. I quit my job after that and we lost contact over the years." She says.

"Wow. Just wow." I say as I get up and begin to pace.

"There is something I want you to read." She says as she hands me a paper.

I stand there shakily reading the letter in front of me. It says....

Last Will and Testament of James R. Winslow

I, James Richard Winslow, leave my entire estate to my only child, Isabella Hanson pending a DNA test. She is my only living relative. Upon my death please show her this letter from me....

My Dear Isabella,

I know you may be confused and hurt right now. Don't hate your mother. I was just as much to blame if not more. I also know that it's not 100% guaranteed that you are my daughter. That's why I wanted to have a DNA analysis run. If you are in fact my blood relative, I leave my entire estate to you. If you are not, I leave it to your mother Jane Hanson. She was the only true love of my life. But sometimes when you truly love someone you have to let them go. She loved your father and she needed to be with him. I was never angry or upset with her for not telling him. Nor was I upset that he was the one to raise you, even if you were possibly mine biologically. Your mother sent me photographs from time to time and I kept up with your whereabouts over the years. I never wanted to hurt you or scare you away, that's why I never even tried to approach you. I also am not telling you this in my death to cause any trouble in your family. I just couldn't leave this world without leaving my only bit of flesh and blood (tentatively) something. I know your father passed away last year and I am very sorry for your loss. I always wanted a family that I could give the world to. So in death, that's what I am doing.

All my love,

James Winslow

I stand there speechless as I finish reading the letter.

"He did that so he could give us money either way. I never cared about his money and he knew that. I didn't want it and I still don't. I just don't understand why he did this." She says through tears.

"Mom, you should have told me! My whole life has been a lie. I don't even know who my real father was. And if James was my real father, you denied me the chance of ever getting to know him and now it's too late!" I say letting me emotions get the better of me.

"I know and I am sorry. I made so many mistakes." She says holding her head down in shame.

"So what do we do now?" I ask frustrated.

"Well, you have to go back to Atlanta to have the DNA done at his lawyers office. Then if you really are his daughter, you have to settle his estate. It will probably take a few weeks." She says.

"Mom, do you think that he is my father?" I ask honestly.

"To be honest, I don't know. But even if he is it doesn't change the fact that the father that raised you, was your father. He loved you. Even if you weren't biologically his he still loved you." She says.

"Yeah because he didn't know there was a possibility I could be someone else's." I say snarky.

My mother just glares at me and I change the subject.

"Mom, I didn't even know James Winslow. I don't want his money or his belongings. I don't want any of this." I tell her.

"I know dear but you have to go or they can court order you to. In all seriousness I want you to go. Find out about James. Take a break from here, from work. The last year has been hell on you. Take a long vacation from work. It might be good for you to get away and be alone with your thoughts. And when you get back I will be here for you. I love you. I know you may be mad at me for the rest of your life, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
She says through tears.

I am mad. Really disappointed in her. But she is my mother, the only one I have and she has been a wonderful one. With my dad passing away recently, it made me realize just how short life is. I don't want to spend my mom's last years of her life not speaking to her. I haven't forgiven her but I can't hate her.

"Mom, I am not going to lie I am upset with you. It may take me a very long time to forgive you but I don't hate you. You are my mom. I love you always." I tell her.

She hugs me tightly to her. We stay and talk for a little while longer before I head home for the night. I lie in bed wondering what James was like and how life would have been different had my mom not stayed with my father. I also wonder how I am going to deal with this estate. I toss and turn until my brain can't take anymore and I finally fall asleep.