My Secret Lover

Chapter 34

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Pov. Park Sunghoon

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I didn't see Jake for the rest of the weekend. We wrote a little on KakaoTalk but since the party, his words were constantly in my head. So I spent the rest of the weekend with intensive individual training on the ice and kept myself fit in the gym. I tried to block out the event as much as possible and distract myself with hard physical activities.

Sighing, I settled down next to Sunoo in the cafeteria and put the tray of lunch on the table. "What does everyone think of this winter prom? I don't get it," Riki began across from me, as nearby a girl joyfully wrapped her arms around a boy's neck when he asked her to be his date at the prom. "Proms are cool," Sunoo said, but I just shrugged my shoulders.

Next week on Friday the 23.12 the annual winter prom takes place. But just like my birthday, I didn't particularly fancy it.

"Never been to one..."

Startled, they both looked at me. "What, really?" asked Sunoo incredulously. "But you're going to go to the upcoming prom, right? Has... the Golden Retriever asked you yet?" he asked, grinning widely. I didn't want to think about him. And the two of them should know that I was still hurt because of Jake's action.

"No. Probably won't go either, whether he asks me or not. Ain't my thing," I muttered, poking at my food. "Hoon?"

I looked up and gazed into Sunoo's googly eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes!"

"Being okay on the outside and acting rationally is maybe your way of dealing with this. But it kind of creeps me out," Riki added, putting his phone aside. "I'm really fine!"

Suddenly, a person appeared and sat down with us. Jake. As if on cue, the youngest two rose with their tray and left me alone.

"Hey where are you going?", I asked, and Jake also looked at them in wonder. "Why are they leaving?" he asked, starting to eat. "I don't know?", I replied, trying to sound as neutral as possible. "How was practice this weekend? Haven't seen you at all since Saturday, hope you're not overexerting yourself," Jake said, "I'm okay." Nervously, I forked up a little piece of meat but didn't eat it. Jake leaned his body forward and looked me in the eyes. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked suddenly.

"Why are you sitting with me? It's totally obvious. What if Heeseung or someone sees us together?" I muttered. "You know he's still pissed at me. He won't care," he said calmly. I didn't respond. "What's on your mind? Something feels off," Jake asked, watching me closely. I just shrugged. "Come on, tell me what's going on."

I hesitated for a moment. But there was no point in keeping it to myself and acting weird when it was clear something was bothering me. "I just feel... off. I don't know why," I mumbled, bringing the fork to my mouth. I didn't know how to explain the whole thing, not without making it even messier. "Feelings without a reason are fleeting. Eventually, they melt away," Jake said shortly. "I do have a valid reason though," I blurted out harshly as I left the fork on the plate. I should turn down a screw. "Sorry. I'm just confused..."

"Cause of me?"

Briefly, I made sure no one was listening to us before I started talking. "At the surprise party... You said you envisioned the future married with a wife and kids by your side," I revealed, unable to look at him. The mashed potatoes on the plate were probably more interesting. "Oh. Really? I... can't remember. So, about that..." Did I perhaps have karma because I once hurt him myself in a drunken state at Yeonjun's party over a month ago?