British comedian oneshots

Morning (josh widdicombe x you)

The noise of an asthma pump stirs you from your sleep, and you turn around to feel a messy, comforting nest of gingery-blonde hair against your face. He- your boyfriend Josh- must've felt your breath on his neck, as he quickly turned around to face you. His nose touched yours, and you feel your face turning pink at the sensation of his lips hovering so close to yours.

"Morning," He chuckles, his lips only slightly grazing yours. "How did you sleep?"

"You know how I slept," You reply sleepily. "Barely at all, thanks to you. Wanker"
You pinch Josh's cheek playfully, making him wince a little.

"You loved it. You know you did, cheeky."

"I have to admit, your curly-haired head between my thighs felt great."

"My pleasure." He giggles hopping out of bed with a skip in his step and making his way to the bathroom. As you try to properly get yourself awake, you stretch and look at your surroundings. The room is a state. More of Josh's clothes are sprawled across his floor than in his wardrobe, and his shelves are scattered with asthma pumps and self-help books. You pull yourself further underneath the covers, still extremely tired and extremely ready to sleep as you did last night, loved and held tightly. You sink back into the bedsheets, pushing your head into the pillow as deeply as you could, comforted by the scent of your boyfriend's cologne. Slowly but surely, you begin to drift asleep again.

Less than a few minutes later, you're rudely awoken by the dustmen and the burning light of the sun after Josh had enthusiastically pulled the curtains open.

"Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!" He yanks the covers off your body whilst you yell and groan and curse at him. All he can do is laugh. Slowly, he perches himself on the bed next to you and strokes your cheek with his thumb, admiring your tired face and your tired eyes.

"Tired?" He asks

"Mhm"

"Tough tits," He drags you off the bed by your legs, leaving you in a pile of limbs on the floor. "We're going out."

You roll over and stand up slowly off the carpet, careful not to fall over the mountains of clothes and rubbish. Josh gives you a quick peck on the cheek before telling you to 'chop chop' and 'get moving'. You reluctantly obey and slip into the comfiest clothes you can find, before wandering downstairs to the sofa where Josh was laying. You lay on top of him top-to-tail, wiggling your toes in his face, making him giggle.

"So," You start. "Where are you taking me, Mr. Romance?"

"Dunno," He replies "Park? Lunch? Karaoke?"

"Certainly not fucking karaoke." You snicker. "You're shite at karaoke. Remember Greg's party? God, I'm sure you cracked at least one of his windows."

"Fine! Not karaoke. Fancy a walk then?"

" Alright, lover boy" You give him a smooch on the cheek before throwing a jacket on and making your way out the door, Josh's arm linked tightly with yours.

You walk in synchronised strides down the countless, freezing alleyways surrounding the house, desperate not to let go of your boyfriend's warm, comforting arm. As you blow, the air fills with a smoky-white coloured breath, which you decided to blow again into your boyfriend's face (much to his amusement) He blows the air back, smiling sweetly at your looks, and you can't help but reach out your hand and ruffle his hair. The walk is filled with intricate small talk, along with some deeper topics and before you know it, the sun has started setting and small droplets of water start to speckle Josh's glasses.

"I think it's time we start heading back, y/n." He says, pecking your forehead and leading you back to the house. Your speed increases as the rain starts falling harder, sending you and Josh into a sprint to stay sheltered. You run through the front door, stumbling over the doormat and letters and your klutzy boyfriend's feet, laughing and giggling into his hair. He grabs you by the hips to stop you from tripping, and guides you through the house to the living room, where he gently throws you on the sofa, soon after, throwing himself on top of you.

He places countless kisses on your cheeks whilst you wrap your arms around his waist, readjusting himself into a more comfortable position as he does so. His head lay on your chest, rising and falling with every breath, and his palms rest firmly on your neck, letting his fingers twist and play with your hair. He takes off his glasses and puts them on the coffee table, before raising his head again to kiss you.

"Y/n?" Josh whispers gently and quietly, so not to disturb your relaxed silence. "Y/n?" At first, Josh fails to realise you're sleeping, but quickly notices when the second kiss planted on your lips isn't returned. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, careful not to wake you, and returns his head to your chest.

"I love you, Y/n."