S.P. One Shots

Stop that |c.g|

CW: body dysmorphia
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Delia is like reader's mother figure
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I stood looking at myself in the mirror from every angle. Analyzing the smallest of imperfections. What was supposed to be me getting dressed for breakfast turned into 20 minutes of body checking. Afterwards I just felt too exhausted to do anything so I laid down in my bed. I stared at the wall as tears began to fill my eyes. Why can't I be pretty like Zoe or Queenie.

It's not even the being 'skinny' part I just don't think I'm pretty at all. Maybe it was never the weight it's just who I am. A knock on the door stirs me and my eyes dart to it, pulling the covers closer before it opens. "Hi sweetie" Cordelia. I just stare at her somewhat blankly as she closes the door and sits on the edge of the bed.

"You didn't come down to breakfast today" she says questioningly. "Way to point out the obvious" I say under my breath. "What was that?" She asks me to repeat myself with a stern look on her face. "I wasn't hungry" I mumble but loud enough for her to hear based on her proximity. "That doesn't sound like you" she says softly and I shrug as I pull the covers a bit higher.

"Are you sick?" In the head. "Yeah" I reply and she pouts a bit. "What can I do?" She asks, "nothing. I'll be fine" I reply allowing my heavy eyelids to droop slightly. "Honey I know there's something wrong. Just tell me what I can do" she says resting her hand on my leg. I flinch and curl my legs closed to my body and away from her.

"I said I'm fine" I say coldly, I see sadness flash in her eyes before she composed herself. "Get up" she says softly, "get. Up" she demands after I don't move. "N-no" I reply, "y/n I said get up" she repeats herself. "I heard what you said. I don't want to" I tell her. "There's something wrong and I'm going to get to the bottom of it" she says determined.

I know I shouldn't be so sensitive but seeing her getting upset with me makes me tear up. Before I know it tears are streaming down my face. I sniffle drawing her attention to my tears and her face softens immensely. "Honey..." she says and I shake my head, "I'm sorry for getting upset... I just hate seeing you like this" she says sadly.

She moves closer to give me a hug but I move away making her confused. "I-is it me? Did I do something?" She asks nervously and I shake my head trying to hold back tears. "Then why won't you let me touch you?" She asks sadly, "you always used to love my hugs" she continues sounding defeated. The door opens revealing Madison and she starts speaking before seeing who's in the room.

"Hey I know you're not up to eating so I brought you a-" she finally looks up and sees Cordelia and stops. "Just put it there" I sigh motioning with my eyes to the nightstand. She sets the meal replacement protein shake there and leaves giving me an apologetic smile. It's silent for a while, I'm just awaiting what I know is coming.

"So... are you going to explain now?" She asks softly and I sigh as I prepare myself. "Why didn't you tell me you were struggling with this? I would've helped you" she says jumping the gun before I can speak. "What was I supposed to say? 'Hey uh Delia I kind of feel like I'm ugly and everything about me is wrong. Oh and also it doesn't help being surrounded by so many beautiful woman. So could you maybe like, watch out to make sure I don't starve myself?'" I say sarcastically

I look up to see tears falling down her face making me feel bad for being such an asshole. "Come here" she whispers, "Cordelia I-" she stops me with her hand in the air. "I said come here. You're gonna let me hug you and after that I'm going to make sure to help you in any way I can" she sniffles. I can't say no to her for long so I crawl slightly out the covers and into her arms.

"Baby... I'm so sorry" she whispers sadly as she hugs me tight. Tears fall freely down my face as she slightly rocks us side to side. "You are so SO beautiful, you hear me?" She says, "that's not true" I mumble. She pulls away from me and holds my face just staring at me for a moment making me avert my eyes. "Look at me" she softly commands and I slowly raise my eyes to meet hers.

"You are the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. Head to toe. Inside and out. I wish you could see yourself from my eyes and love you as much as I love you" she says sincerely. "I could try..." I offer, "and that's all I'm asking" she says with a soft smile. "And umm Delia?" I say and she smiled wider at her beloved nickname, "Mhmm" she hums looking into my eyes lovingly.

"D-do you actually uh... what you said?" I ask her and she looks at me me confused as she tilts her head slightly to the left. "Before... when you said those things about me and then you said..." I just couldn't bring myself to voice the words. She seems to remember what she said, finally, and looks down for a bit. Her eyes meet mine again and she nods with a nervous smile.

"I do. With everything I have" she whispers, "I love you too" I say with a shy smile. She grins and pulls me in for a tight hug practically crushing my ribs.