S.P. One Shots

Soon we'll be found |c.g|

Cordelia and I got into a really bad argument during the day. I'm not typically one to hold grudges... ok that's not entirely true. People say forgive and forget, but I never forget. In the words of Maya Angelou I might forget what exactly you said but never how you made me feel. That being said I can't remember the words that were thrown but she really hurt my feelings.

I get her being stressed but it was uncalled for. I haven't talked to her since I walked away. Now it's time for us to go to bed. We've already showered, separately, and I slide into my side of the bed while she gets in hers. I get as close as possible to the edge as I can without falling off. "Y/n..." she says quietly in the dark, I don't reply. Not because I'm petty, it's just because I haven't gotten over it yet.

Mind you she's already apologized but I just can't let it go yet. "Baby I'm sorry" she says pleadingly, I feel her move closer to me and I scoot a bit farther away. If I move anymore I'm legit going to fall on the floor. "Please... at least talk to me. Scream, cuss, anything!" She says raising her voice a bit and annoying me. "Let's not fight, I'm tired. Can we just sleep tonight?" I say, I know it stings but I can't help it.

"Just tell me what to do, y/n. I'll do anything" she begs and I sigh. "Turn away, it's just there's nothing left here to say" I tell her. "I'm so so so so SO sorry, baby. I didn't mean to get so upset. Can I just... can I please just hold you?" She continues and I can hear her crying making my heart crumble. I know she has trouble sleeping and having someone close helps her.

"Cordelia I really don't wanna be touched right now" I explain. "O-ok... can we switch pillows?" She asks and I go to hand it to her without looking. I end up just turning around because it's easier and as soon as I meet her eyes I melt. We just stare at each other for a moment. Both of us in a half-sitting, half-laying down position with pillows in hand.

"Baby..." she whispers, I look away and gently take the pillow out her hands while laying mine next to her. I turn back over and face away from her as tears fill my eyes. I sniffle, effectively blowing my cover and I hear her sigh sadly. "Please let me make it better... it's the least I can do" she says sadly. "You really hurt me" I whisper closing my eyes to regain my composure.

"I know... I didn't mean to. I know that doesn't matter and doesn't make it any better. Just... please tell me what to do. I just hate thinking about going to sleep with you mad at me" she sniffles. "I'm not mad. I'm hurt, Delia. Why would you say those- those things?" my breath gets caught behind tears as I speak. "I don't know... I should've never said that. Any of it. I'm just so tired and expect you to read my mind when I know that's not reasonable. Even though you can, you shouldn't have to... I should be able to tell you" she sighs.

I slowly turn over and face her, tears running down both our faces. Her body on top of my pillow, holding it close to her heart. "Tell me what?" I ask her trying to get to the bottom of all of this. Some reasoning might make this better. "I'm afraid... afraid that- that I'll fade and leave you alone. Well I know it. I figured if you left me now it wouldn't hurt as bad..." she whispers.

"Why would you think something so preposterous like that? I love you and it's going to hurt either way but death is a part of life, Delia. Yeah it's gonna hurt like a bitch, and I'm gonna miss you terribly. But that doesn't mean not being able to love you at all would make it better. That would make it worse, in fact. Having been able to love you and lose you, is better than not having the privilege at all" I explain.

"Well when you say it like that I sound stupid" she mutters, fiddling anxiously with her fingers. "You kinda are, love. I adore you regardless though" I joke tiredly. "So you're not mad?" She asks nervously, "no... I was just confused. You can't lash out like that when you're feeling things. Just talk to me, ok? Even if you think it'll hurt me. Letting it out is better than avoiding it and causing something like this" I advise.

"You're right. I love you, baby" she says smiling softly. "I love you too, you irritating hypocrite. Seriously though, you can tell me anything. Don't ever think you have to hide stuff from me" I reassure her pulling her into my chest. "Yes ma'am" she replies, "now go to sleep. You owe me big time tomorrow" I joke. "I'll make you breakfast and... take you shopping. Ouuhhh and we can go on a date to your favorite restaurant. I also have a present I bought today" she says as excited as she can in her sleepy state.

"I'm sure I'll love it" I say stroking her hair to coax her into sleep. "Good night, baby" she whispers wrapping her arms around me tighter. "Good night, love" I say settling into sleep.