S.P. One Shots

finding our way back |c.g|

I'm sitting in the living room watching a movie while everyone's asleep. It's really the only time I can properly think, at night. During the day it's mostly Madison teasing me about my crush on the most unavailable woman on this planet. Don't get me wrong I love her, I love all the girls but it is a lot sometimes. I cherish these moments by myself when I can just be... free. I hear soft footsteps approach me but I don't turn around hoping they go away.

I feel the energy in the room shift and I know it's her before I even see her. She comes into view and looks at me for a moment before sitting down. "Hey" I say quietly, "hey... are you ok? The tv's been going for a minute" she asks. Honestly I've been zoning in and out and the tv has just been background noise. I could probably tell you the basic plot but I don't remember much else. Then again a summary of the movie could tell you that.

"Yeah. Sorry if I woke you" I apologize nervously and she shakes her head softly. Her blonde curls swaying effortlessly pulling me into a momentary trance. "I couldn't sleep anyways" she sighs exasperated, "how come?" I ask hoping to keep her talking because I hate awkward silence but mostly because I love hearing her voice. "Just... thinking" she says looking at me intensely and making me turn towards the tv. "Can I ask you a question?" She inquires and my heart rate immediately doubled in quickness.

"S-sure" I slightly stutter just hoping none of the girls have said anything to her. "Can you sleep with me tonight? I... I don't wanna be alone" she whispers the last part and my heart breaks a little. "Of course" I say without thinking, I'd do anything for her. Even if it means being unbelievably uncomfortable. She smiles softly and I turn off the tv following her up to her room. Once we're settled in the bed she turns on her side facing me. I do the same getting the feeling she wants to talk about whatever is bothering her.

"You know that weird feeling... the one you get in your stomach when you're anxious?" She whispers, "yeah" I sigh softly I feel that all the time. "I've been feeling like that a lot recently" she admits, "why?" I ask just wanting to hear her continue speaking. "I think... I might like someone" she says, considering she recently divorced that hobbit looking bitch it's understandable. "That's good. If you want my advice, you should go for it" I say with a smile even thought my heart is pulling in all directions.

"I don't know... I don't think she likes me" she says sadly. She? Well that makes matters even worse. Convincing myself she's not into women made it easier for me to accept. Maybe it is just me then? "Anyone would be lucky to have you, I'm sure you're just overthinking it" I encourage her. I can practically hear my heart shredding and I just keep pushing it through the grinder. "Y/n... I'm so in love with her" she confesses, fucking kill me now. Just put me out of my misery.

"She's a lucky woman" I say simply, my will to keep up the enthusiastic facade is crumbling. "I always feel like she's so close but so far" she continues to unknowingly pound my heart. I feel tears fill my eyes at her heartfelt confession to this woman. I'm not a violent person but I would kill to be in this woman's place. My tears fall down my cheeks and I don't realize until one hits the pillow with an almost silent thud. "Hey..." Cordelia reaches a hand out and rests in on my cheeks wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted you, I know the night is your alone time" she apologizes. "It's ok" I whisper, fighting the urge to close my eyes at how good this feels to be so close to her. Simultaneously wanting to cry even harder knowing this doesn't mean to her what it means to me. "You're entirely too beautiful to cry" she whispers so quiet I barely heard her even though we're inches apart. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better but there's no need for falsities" I half-joke.

"I mean it... god do I mean it" she sighs, I look into her eyes longingly. Happy that she can't see my face but I can clearly see hers in the moonlight. "Y/n?" She whispers, "yes" I reply urging her to continue. It's silent for a while, it seems like she's contemplating on what she should say. "I love you. It's you... it's always been you" I can hear the anxiety in her voice. "What do you mean?" I ask timidly, "I feel such a strong connection to you. No matter how much I try to distract myself, you've planted yourself in my subconscious. Whenever my thoughts wander, I think of you. When I'm stressed, when I'm sad, you drift in my mind and I feel better. Your smell..." she stopped and inhaled deeply.

"It sends such an immense rush of serotonin to my brain that I feel high. You're like my personal drug that I just can't get off. I never want to anyway... I never knew how it felt to be in love until I met you. Looking back I wish I hadn't been so stupid as to just accept to be content with life. Knowing you... loving you... even in the shadows, has been the most excitement I've felt in my entire life. You are intoxicating and I'm willing to spend the rest of life in a haze if it means getting to spend it with you" she confesses.

"Cordelia I-" "I know" she says understandingly. I watch as her eyes drift down to my lips, I hadn't realized how close we had moved to each other. Like magnets that need to be connected, her forehead rests gently against mine. "Please..." I say breathily, if she wasn't so close there's no way she would've heard me. Her head tilted in the slightest way until her lips hover just above mine. Her warm breath cascades across my lips and sends shivers down my neck and back.

Her lips press gently against mine moving slowly and lovingly. I exhale in the softest possible way so as to not ruin the moment. Her arm previously lying by her side wraps around my waist and pulls me closer. She glides her thumb preciously over my cheekbone making my body yearn for her. She feels like a distant lover I've been parted from for eternities. Our souls finally colliding and finding our home in each other. When the need for air becomes unbearable to the point I feel lightheaded I pull away.

We both pant and stare at each other in awe of what just happened. "I love you too" I say dreamily, still trying to catch my breath. She giggles and bites her lip looking at me tiredly. "I could hear your thoughts like they were my own... I think they are" she whispers. "I can't believe this is happening" I admit, "me either" she chuckles. "I'm so happy" I giggle, "you have no idea how long I've waited for this. To see your smile and know that I'm the direct cause. You're so... I don't even think there are words to describe it " she sighs happily.

"Says the walking dictionary" I joke, "I think you're confusing me with someone else" she pokes my side. "Well all those thoughts... feelings... I feel the same" I say. "It makes me incredibly elated to finally hear that" she blushes. I pull her in so close it feels like we're one and hold her tight as we fall asleep.