S.P. One Shots

More Than Words |b.d.h|

Based on the song by Extreme

Those three simple words: I love you. Saying "I love you" is not the words I want to hear from you. What do they really mean if there aren't actions behind them? I've had too many people tell me they 'love' me only to turn around and do the most atrocious things. And I'm expected to forgive them after a half-ass apology and an 'I love you'? That's bullshit. Which is exactly why this whole situation with Billie has been bothering me. I mean she's my girlfriend for christs sake and I barely see her. Even when she's here it feels like she's miles away. I know this is hard for her, I mean it's hard for me too.

I know she loves me, I really do, but the absence of the actions to back it up leave room for doubt in my mind. So I've decided to have a chat with her before I let my mind run wild any further. "Hey Bil? Can we talk for a second?" I ask, peeking my head into her office where she's typing away at the keyboard. "I'm kinda busy right now, doll" she says squinting her eyes a bit and not letting her eyes leave the screen. "It's important" I say now fully stepping into the office so she knows I'm not leaving. She sighs softly and finishes typing a sentence before closing the laptop halfway and looking up at me.

"Yes?" she asks, annoyance masked by the small smile on her face but still present in her tone. "I'm just going to come out with it... do you really love me?" I ask her, looking between her eyes to calculate her reaction. "Of course I do, why would you ask me that?" she asks worriedly as she moves the laptop out the way and leans on the desk. "I mean how would you feel? We fuck and you give me a kiss and then you're basically back to work. You don't really talk to me, about anything really" I say as I think about it. "You don't really think that, do you? You know I love you, right..." she says looking at me nervously.

"See that's the thing. Saying you 'love' me isn't enough" I tell her, "I'm confused. So you don't want me to say I love you or... I'm not really sure what you're asking me for" she questions. "It's not that I want you not to say but if you only knew. How easy it would be to show me how you feel. I love when you tell me you love me but I need proof, something I can rely on" I explain. "So you wanna go on more dates? I'm still not grasping this concept. I mean I get you spontaneous gifts, you travel with me..." she says still not understanding.

"Have you ever realized that I don't particularly enjoy those things? Don't get me wrong it's nice that you wanna show me off but I'm not just a trophy, Billie. More than words is all you have to do to make it real. Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me. Cause I'd already know. We could have date nights in an alley for all I care, it's you I want. Not the trinkets and jewelry, though I love them, but that's not love" I say looking at her sadly. "I guess I just assumed that you would understand... I do those things because, well that's what I think people are receptive to I guess. I don't really know how to be any different" she says defeated.

"Maybe that's what you're most receptive to, and that's ok! Everyone has different love languages and maybe yours is receiving gifts and therefore you show your love by giving gifts. That's not a bad thing, just something to think about" I shrug and she looks at me furrowing her eyebrows in deep confusion. "Think of it like this... What would you do, if my heart was torn in two?" I ask her and she looks amused but still uncertain. "Y/n that question is absurd" she chuckles, "but hypothetically... what would you do?" I ask seriously but I smile softly at her to relax her.

"Well I would do everything in my power to help fix it. I would take you to the best doctors until I could find someone to fix you, because I can't see my life without you..." she says sadly. "Exactly. More than words to show how you feel, that your love for me is real. 'I love you' wouldn't fix a broken heart, do you understand?" I ask her and she nods unsurely "a little bit, I think" she replies. "And what would you say, if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new just by saying I love you" I say squinting a bit to see if she's getting what I'm putting down.

"Ok, I think I understand. W-what would be best for you? Your... love language I guess I should ask" she says and I can sense she's a bit uncomfortable. I mean it's uncharted territory for her and for me too, I'm not usually very good with words or explaining things like this. I get up and take her hand, leading us to the bedroom where we both sat on the bed. "Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand. All you have to do is close your eyes, and just reach out your hands and touch me" I tell her.

She gently laid us down on the bed and took me into her arms, rubbing my back softly as my head lay on her chest I closed my eyes. "Hold me close, don't ever let me go" I whisper as I hold her tighter and her arms cradle me just a bit tighter letting me know she heard me. "I love you, y/n. I mean that, and I never want you to feel like this again. I'm sorry I didn't notice before, but now that I know, I'll do everything I can to show you that my love for you is real. It'll take some time but I will work at it" she says as she pulls me so our bodies are as close as possible, our legs intertwined.