Shadowhunters: City of Possibilities

Chapter Four

I follow her to the garden that is glittering softly on the moonlit terrace. This place has brought me comfort twice; Once when Max died and the other when I learned my father was having an affair. I sigh as she shows me to a spot where we both can sit, one face staring straight into the other. "What's going on Iz?" She says placing her palms together as she tries to calm the light tapping of her shoe upon the stones, nervously awaiting whatever news I'm about to share with her. I clasp my hands together and rest my eyes in the depths of hers, finding the courage to let my words fly from the housing of my ruby-red lips. Without missing a beat I let them loose, "I'm pregnant", I blurt out, watching as Clary's face goes from shock to pure excitement. "Izzy this is great news!" She says before pausing, seeing that I don't share the same degree of excitement as her, "Isn't it?" I drag in a breath before letting all the negativity out into this place that is so quiet that the only thing buzzing with life right now is Clary herself. "How can I be a good mother if I let my brother die on my watch, Clary?" I mutter, "I couldn't even protect him-How could I even protect my own?" I say fighting through the impending tears. Clary reaches out and squeezes my hands, "I won't let anything happen to that baby Izzy. In the name of the angel I swear to you that I will protect him or her with my life". Her promise is genuine but it doesn't help calm my nerves, "Clary you can't..." I begin to protest, "No Izzy. You're my family and I swore to protect what matters most to me and from now on that's you, my sister, and that baby that's gonna grow to be just as amazing as you and Simon are", she declares with unmoving eyes. There's no point in arguing with her, she is the most stubborn person I have ever met, and once she sets her mind to something there's no changing it. I stand up and take hold of her in my arms, pressing myself into her hug as I feel the relief of a secret being released from its cage. We stay like this for a few minutes before Clary lets a gasp escape from her lips, "You haven't told Simon yet, have you? That's why you have been avoiding him, isn't it?" she says. "Avoiding him?" I say quizzically letting my brow furrow in confusion. She nods slowly, "That's what he was talking to me about in the training room. He was saying how you seemed so distant lately and he didn't know what had put a wedge between the two of you". Of course, he wasn't talking about nerdy stuff with Clary that was always backseat when it came to our relationship, the thing he cared about most in the world was me. "Wait, he was worried about us?" I say as I feel my heart twist inside my chest that has this boy's name written all over it, I love him with every fiber of my being, so why have I kept this from him? Clary smiles, "Go. Find Simon and tell him what you told me. He's gonna be a great father, and you're going to be an amazing mother". I smile giving her one last squeeze before I walk toward the path that will lead me to him. I pause before reaching the stairs, "Thank you, Clary", I call as I descend back into the heart of the institute to find my Simon.