Diary of a House Officer/Intern

Chapter 9

Today was supposed to be a big day. Today the MS (Medical Superintendent) was supposed to visit and check the state of the department. The cocaine table had been freshly cleaned with probably a bucket of surface cleaner and washed to perfection. 

Meanwhile Imtesal's patient was sitting in her usual spot urinating on the floor, as he waited for her to finish so he could get the area cleaned.

 'Bhaag ja dallay, nazar nahi araha mein pishaab karahi hun!' she shouted at Imtesal and then broke into hysterical laughter. Imtesal had specially brought floor cleaner and bleach from his house to get the floor urine spot cleaned, as the sweeper would steal the department's cleaner and dilute it too much with water which did not serve any purpose. She finally finished and proudly stood up and went back to her bed.

The sweeper slowly walked across to the famous urine spot and mopped it while Imtesal poured cleaner on to it. The sweeper dragged the same mop across the entire floor and back to the staff toilet. Well, this was Civil. This was the cleanest it would get. Today was Monday and Dr. Haris was never in on Mondays. But today he was. Mondays were his post-cocaine party hangover days but he had to be here today. He looked half-mad and was slumped on his desk waiting. 

Sarmad suddenly came out of the male ward and started excitedly shouting 'Dr. Haris aur Nazo tou nanga naachte hain meinay khud dekha meinay khud dekha!' Everyone stared at Sarmad, in complete shock. Dr. Rena heard the commotion and came out of her room, grabbing a syringe of probably some strong benzodiazepine and shoved it into Sarmad's arm as he frantically screamed in pain. 

'Saali tu bhi tou nanga naachti hai!', before he slumped across the floor and collapsed. Dr. Rena calmly composed herself and claimed Sarmad had been missing his antipsychotic doses and was clearly having a breakthrough psychotic episode. Everybody could simply stare at her with their mouths open.