Real intimacy usually starts from afar

Episode 8. In the hands of fate

***

As I approached the tent, I heard shouting. At first I thought I was imagining things. But then I realized it was Dale. I ran as fast as I could. I could only navigate by the sound, as it was dark. Dale was grabbed by one of the walkers and he fell to the ground. I tried to pull the dead man towards me, but he clung to him. It was terribly hard to help him. Dale was shouting hard, thereby getting the dead man more and more involved. Everyone else was already running up to us. The walker finally let go of Dale and I was able to kill him.

But it was too late.

- Hey, over here! Hurry up! - I waved my arms so they'd see me. Dale was beyond saving... The walker had ripped his stomach open. There's no chance... The only thing we can do to help him is kill him. Otherwise, he'll be in a lot of pain. Everyone was fussing around, trying to do something to help. Rick called for Hershel, but he said there was no chance of life. Rick pointed the muzzle of his gun at Dale's head. It was obvious he couldn't do it. And it was unlikely either of them could do it. Dale was their family, and not everyone could kill someone close to them.

I slowly took the gun from Rick's hands. He handed it to me silently and stepped aside. I knelt down and pointed the gun.

- We had no other choice.

Dale knew he wasn't going to make it. His gaze full of pain and despair looked around at all his friends for the last time. We never live, we only hope to live. He wanted to live and save the lives of others.

Had I run faster, perhaps I could have saved this old man. One shot.

We're all toys in the hands of fate.

***

Once again, we all stand at another grave. How long has it been since the last time? How much more loss do we have to endure? After all, it's only just begun.

- When I made a decision, I always looked at Dale. And he looked at me with that look we all saw from time to time. I couldn't always understand him, but he understood us. He saw right through people. He understood us, the truth, who we really were. At the end he would say that we were losing our humanity. He was saying that our group was split. The best way to honour his memory is to glue it together, to forget our contradictions. Unite. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves. We didn't split. We will prove him wrong. From now on, we will do as he said. In doing so, we honor Dale's memory. - Rick gave a speech.

***

- It's going to be tight, there are fifteen people in the house. - Rick and Hershel were discussing how to put everyone in the house and what to do next.

Me and Lori were loading different things into the car. We needed to get the basement of the house ready so we could wait there for a couple of days in case of emergency.

- Gabby, Daryl and T-Dog, you'll be on perimeter duty and rotate by the hour.

- You got it. - Daryl replied.

I'm off to help move my stuff into the house. I don't have much at all, so I won't take up much room in the house. Rick called me over and showed me the map outline.

- We're taking him to Sinover. An hour there, an hour back plus or minus. We might not make it by nightfall, but we'll be halfway back.

- What do we take in weapons?

- Rifle, ammo, and knives will suffice.

- You got it.

- Look, what you did last night...

- I think I should help you.

- So you agree with me?

- You could say that.