Real intimacy usually starts from afar

Episode 4. Memory

Evening.

I gathered everything I needed and headed over to the others, everyone was already assembled. Rick gave each pair a direction. Daryl and I needed to check the forest. Everyone went in different directions, and we headed in the right direction, too. We'd been walking for twenty minutes, but none of us dared to break the tense silence. During that time, I saw that the man had a very interesting weapon, a crossbow. Not many people knew how to use it, and it wasn't easy to get. I wondered how he'd come by it.

I decided to break the oppressive silence:

- You have very interesting taste in weapons. Where does it come from?

- We have a purpose far more important than idle chatter.

I only smirked at his answer. I knew he wouldn't answer. Being moderately stealthy was the secret of men of power. Daryl reminded me of a dark wolf. A lone wolf. Just as aloof, cold, not letting anyone near him.

I am the same wolf.

The sun had set completely, and there was darkness all around. It seemed that this darkness is eternal and there is only abyss ahead of us.

- The walkers are out there somewhere." He spoke in a whisper, so as not to attract unexpected guests.

I turned around to make sure no one was waiting behind us. But apparently luck was not on our side today...

A meter away from us were two walkers, rapidly approaching us. At any second, I was ready to strike. A jerk, a single blow to the temporal side, and the flattened body of one of the dead fell to the dry ground with a rumbling noise. A lunge-a blow precisely to the centre of the top of the head, blood splattering directly at me, hitting me in the eyes. Then, the body of the second walker similarly collapsed to the ground with no sign of life. I don't know how we couldn't have heard him, but it all worked out.

A good reaction is something that will really help you survive now. It's a skill that's saved my life more than once. And it's not just me. Knowing how to navigate and act quickly is your trump card.

We walked deep into the forest. The vegetation grew thicker with each step, and the moonlight no longer illuminated our path. We could only rely on our instincts.

How much longer would we have to hide on this farm? Do I have any future? What would happen tomorrow and would we find Sophie? Again a host of pesky questions that would remain unanswered, still lingering in my head.

I won't hide the fact that I'm partly living in the past. I live my memories. I have no thoughts of the future. Memory is the sneakiest traitor in the world, capable of killing even the strongest man.

That's enough. Noah would not approve. My brother, though estranged from me, was always teaching me about life, giving me advice. He was my mentor. The last time I saw him was nine months ago. I hope he survived. No... I know he did. Memories of the lost always seem higher than what we can expect from the future.

- Gabby. I was taken out of my thoughts by my partner.

An arrow flew a centimeter from my face, crashing with a thud into the eyeball of the walker behind me.

- Thank you.

More dead men surrounded us by the minute.

- We have to go back.

On my way I was killing all the dead, the new knife was doing a great job. The sharp blade struck the walkers quickly. I was covered in dead people's blood and it was amusing. Daryl used his crossbow, killing the creatures from a distance, while I finished them off up close. We could have seemed like a great duo. Our fight could be compared to a paired tango.

We were exhausted from killing the last of the walkers. Daryl looked puzzled. His gruff face was pale and haggard. He seemed withdrawn to me, but thoughtful.

I walked at a nonporous gait, taking a good look around the area around the farm. We stopped to open the gate. Momentarily, I crossed paths again with those faded eyes the colour of steel.

He seemed to want to say something, but other thoughts clearly prevented him from breaking the silence. We walked leisurely. Everyone had already returned and was just waiting for us.

- Did you find something? - Carol came up to us.

Carol approached us. She looked grim, but there was always hope in her eyes.

- Not today. - he knows it's likely she's no longer alive. But still there is hope in his heart that we will find her. We all understand that. But hope dies last.

- Mrs., we're sure to find the girl. - It's a long shot, but I should be in touch with everyone in the group, even if it seems hypocritical.

- Thank you for helping us, Miss Morville.

- Just Gabby." I only smiled a little, putting my hand on Carol's shoulder.

Daryl and I walked in the same direction toward our tents. And I should be wondering where to get a change of clothes. I think I should go find Beth. I turned onto the path that led to Hershel's house. Maggie was sitting on the porch.

- Maggie, have you seen Beth?

- She's in the house, why would you? - The girl was always focused, but very gracious.

- She gave me clothes last time, now I could use a change.

- I can give you mine. - Maggie got up and went into the house.

I stayed waiting for her at the entrance. She brought me a pair of gray trousers that looked more like sweatpants and a simple, loose-fitting T-shirt.

- Tonight we were having dinner together at the house.

I knew it was an invitation and was pleasantly surprised. It was a little late for dinner, but who cares. I reached the tent and quickly changed my clothes. I needed to wipe the blood off my face and hands. I took a towel and moistened it with a little water. The wound on my leg was fine, I could leave it untied for now. I "brushed" my hair with my fingers and braided it into a light braid that went over my shoulder. The front strands were a little loose, but it just added to the simple look.

Dinner was not modest at all. Venison stew, fresh fruit, homemade compote, and no wine. I do not drink in unfamiliar company as a matter of principle, and I do not drink at all. The meal was delicious. Everybody ate it in silence.

- Anyone know how to play the guitar? Dale found it, that's cool. Somebody must know how to play. - Glenn asked. I remembered Noah. He may have been self-taught, but he played decently.

- Otis could... - answered the woman sadly. Apparently Otis is dead, and it happened recently.

I was able to get a good look at the rest of the band. The hot blonde seemed to be Andrea. Noticed she was hanging around Walsh a lot. Dale's an old guy, but everybody loves him around here. Lori is Rick's wife, Carl's mum. She's an average woman. Carol's a shut-in, all hoping to see her daughter alive. Very presumptuous.

Glenn and Maggie were passing notes under the table. It wasn't hard to see. Hershel clearly didn't like it. It was clear that they weren't just friends, but they really looked beautiful together. Daryl sat silently on the edge of his chair, thinking about something. This girl Sophie must mean a lot to him if he's looking for her. After dinner, I quickly left the house while the girls were left to do the dishes. I don't like doing household chores, especially dishes.

 There is a different degree of freedom at night. Darkness reigns all around, and the stars light up in the sky. The whole night world appears to us, what secrets does it hold? It is usually so quiet at night that rare distant sounds - the voices of people, the moans of walkers, the creaking of doors - can be heard as if they are very close by.

One is always different at night than during the day.