'It's been a long, long, time since I've memorised your face
It's been four hours now since I've wondered through your place
And when I sleep on your couch I feel very safe
And when you bring the blankets I cover up my face'
Futile devices by Sufjan Stevens plays as I lie calmly in the bath tub. It's late at night, thirty minutes after one. So I decided I needed to bath after watching Call Me By Your Name, hence Futile Devices. The water is at a soothing temperature. Not too warm and not too cold. Just somewhere in between that.
I try not to think of Tyron but I always fail with everything I do. I cannot say how many times I've listened to Don't Let Me Down and Summertime Sadness by Lena Del Rey because that would only make my story even sadder. I even tried dodging him sometimes this evening. I don't know how I'm going to get over him when I'm still in this place.
I get out of the bath tub and dry myself with a towl. After the water has been drained, I clean the bath tub before leaving the toilet with my night clothes on.
I shuffle through the fridge in the living room, looking for something to snack on before going to sleep. I open the microwave and my happiness represents itself on a plate of chapati and a bowl of sugar beans. This is why I love my Shanga. She just knows me too good.
I take a bite of the chapati and beans after reheating the meal. My connection with good food. I can't really explain it. All I know is that one bite can change my mood and leave me with a sigh of relief after the meal is finished. And I know if I die now, I'll die a happy soul.
I drag my tired ass to the bed in Jackie and Alex's room. Looking up to the ceiling, I listen to Futile Devices one more time and allow myself to think of him. His eyes, mesmeric light brown pupils surrounded by a pink colour. Traps my sight and makes me go deeper into them. His soft lips against my dark skin, husky palms against my weist. And when I'm close, so close into a hug that I can hear his heartbeat. His body odour lingures around my nose. A common odour of the coloured community. Tears start to form on the edges of my eyes. Who am I kidding, I can never get over him.
I love you, Tyron Matthews.
'And I would say I love you but saying it out loud is hard
So I won't say it at all
And I won't stay very long
But you are the life
I needed all along
I think of you as my brother
Although that sounds dumb
And words are futile devices.'
YOU ARE READING
Summertime Vibes
General FictionTo be in the moment with the people he loves. That's what Djimmy wanted to do all summer. But what he encounters is more exciting than what he expected. And what was stolen is more precious than all the toys and treats that was taken from him in his...
