Backlash Part 2

Chapter 206: Human Spring Roll

They ate on the bed. Wei Wuxian wiggled his arms free so he could actually hold his own bowl and chopsticks. He had seriously considered making Lan Wangji feed him the entire meal. It was a tempting idea, but Wei Wuxian decided to save it for another time. He already felt spoiled by waking up so comfortably, and with Lan Wangji staying in bed with him for so long.

Once they finished eating, Lan Wangji re-tucked the blanket around Wei Wuxian's arms. Wei Wuxian felt a little ridiculous, but not enough to tell Lan Wangji 'no.' Not when Wei Wuxian had spent so many days anxious and distressed. Not when being wrapped up and held like this made him feel so safe and secure.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji began softly. "I wish to talk about how you have been taking care of yourself, and what we will do in the future. Do you believe this is something you can talk about now?" Lan Wangji kept his voice calm, but Wei Wuxian could hear a small thread of hesitance. As though Lan Wangji were worried that posing this question would distress Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian kind of expected the question to distress him. Oddly enough he found himself tensing in anticipation for a rush of anxiety that never came. Wei Wuxian mentally poked at the small undercurrent of anxiety and discovered that it was in fact only him being anxious about an emotional response he was expecting himself to have. A response that was notably not happening.

"I think... I'm actually okay to talk about it." Wei Wuxian said tentatively. "I'm a little worried that I am going to suddenly start panicking and freaking out... but that hasn't happened yet. So... go for it while we have the chance?" Wei Wuxian tried to sound cheerful about it, but he was pretty sure the anxiety about becoming anxious was growing, leaking into his voice.

Wei Wuxian was becoming incredibly annoyed with his own mind. He was finally not freaking out. Was he seriously about to freak out about the fact that he was not freaking out? The arm around Wei Wuxian suddenly squeezed him tighter. Lan Wangji's other arm came up and began to comb through Wei Wuxian's hair. The pressure and soothing touch released something. The slowly building anxiety began to slip away.

"If Wei Ying becomes distressed during the discussion we will stop." Lan Wangji said firmly. Wei Wuxian buried his face in Lan Wangji's neck.

"You beautiful wonderful man. What did I do to deserve someone so patient and caring?" Wei Wuxian mumbled. A kiss landed on Wei Wuxian's temple.

"Wei Ying is Wei Ying. That is all I have ever needed." Lan Wangji said softly. Wei Wuxian let out a prolonged groaning noise that sounded a bit like a dying goose.

"Lan Zhan~," Wei Wuxian whined. "You can't say things like that! My heart can't possibly take it!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed.

"Wei Ying's heart is strong." Lan Wangji said with a soft smile gently pulling at his lips.

"No... It definitely isn't." Wei Wuxian said with a huff. Lan Wangji leaned down and bit the exposed sliver of Wei Wuxian's collarbone. Wei Wuxian squeaked in surprise.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian cried in outrage.

"Wei Ying will not speak negatively of himself. Wei Ying has endured immeasurable suffering and still continues to love and care with his whole heart. Wei Ying's heart is strong even when it is breaking." Lan Wangji said, his gaze intense.

Wei Wuxian felt trapped by the gaze of those pale sunlight eyes. Wei Wuxian had spent so much of his life pretending. Pretending to be whatever he thought he needed to be. Intimidating. Confident. Most especially he spent a lot of time pretending to not be bothered by things. Not be bothered by insults. Not be bothered by rumours. Not be bothered by being yelled at. Not be bothered by being blamed. He'd smile and joke and pretend that all the bad things rolled off of him like water off of a duck's back. He tried to convince himself that it didn't matter, and didn't hurt.