Backlash Part 2

Chapter 199: Then Kiss Me

It was late when Luo Qingyang left the banquet. Things were winding down. Most of the people still there were drunk. Including Luo Qingyang's sect leader. Enough other sect leaders had left that Luo Qingyang felt she could probably leave without it being considered rude. Sect politics were so... constricting.

Luo Qingyang had chafed a little under them before. How could she not? Luo Qingyang's skills brought her into the gilded halls of sect banquets and discussion conferences. Meanwhile her social status meant that the expectation was for her to remain silent. Like a set piece, there to raise the esteem of her sect. There to be a piece of the events without stepping out of the rigid boundaries that separated her from her social betters.

Luo Qingyang had never liked it, but she thought she had accepted it. She sometimes even felt it was a worthy trade to not be trapped by the crippling expectations she saw some of her friends struggle under. Of course, that was before she fell in love with Jiang Yanli.

Jiang Yanli was kind, beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate. Every moment Luo Qingyang spent with her, and everything she learned, revealed greater and greater depths. Luo Qingyang had fallen in love and her greatest concern had been whether Jiang Yanli might feel the same way. Luo Qingyang had fallen in love with Jiang Yanli, and forgotten that Jiang-guniang was the only daughter born to a leader of a major sect.

Luo Qingyang had forgotten what that meant. That Jiang Yanli couldn't afford to just marry whomever she wanted. She was a politically advantageous bride. Not only would any sect want her, but Jiang Yanli's marriage was important for the YunmengJiang sect. Luo Qingyang had always lived her life in some measure of defiance. She bowed to customs and social order when she needed to, but refused to take any of it to heart.

Luo Qingyang had never thought of herself as lesser than anyone else, and had quietly thought that anyone who believed she was lesser was stupid. Luo Qingyang had a pride and confidence rooted deep in her bones. Planted by a servant mother who was anything but demure or deferential. A mother who glowed with pride everytime Luo Qingyang shot ahead of her peers in her sect, and smiled indulgently when Luo Qingyang struggled.

Luo Qingyang had anxiously offered Jiang Yanli her heart, and thought that the only question Jiang Yanli needed to answer was whether or not she felt the same. Luo Qingyang had forgotten that Jiang Yanli was not like her. Luo Qingyang's mother would accept anyone Luo Qingyang brought home or left home for. As long as Luo Qingyang loved them and they loved her in return.

Jiang Yanli had to consider more than that. The YunmengJiang sect had suffered the most of any major sects during the war. No other major sect had to transition leaders amidst a war. In name the GusuLan sect did, but the reality was that Qingheng-jun had not been a sect leader in decades. His death was a tragedy, but not a disruption in leadership. No other major sect sustained the losses that the YunmengjIang sect suffered before the war even began.

Jiang Yanli's marriage meant political power and connections. Jiang Yanli's marriage meant financial support and alliances to help the sect rebuild and their position to stabilize. Even though Jiang Yanli had turned down the LanlingJin sect, that didn't mean she could afford to marry just anyone. Her marriage could give the YunmengJiang sect strength when they needed it most. Jiang Yanli couldn't afford to waste that on someone like Luo Qingyang. Someone who wouldn't be able to bring financial support or political power to a recovering sect.

Luo Qingyang left the banquet under her own power. She'd spent the evening walking a careful line in how much alcohol she drank versus how much food and tea she had. Trying to get drunk enough to be insulated from all the thoughts in her head. Drunk enough to muffle all the things she was feeling. Meanwhile trying to stay sober enough to get herself safely back to her tent. Luo Qingyang grabbed a mostly full bottle of wine on her way out, promising herself that she would set up talismans in her tent before drinking until her heart stopped hurting.