Backlash Part 2

Chapter 220: Hatred

Wei Wuxian wasn't the sort of person to hold grudges. He vaguely recalled someone saying he had a grudge against Jin Zixuan, but that wasn't a grudge. Wei Wuxian just didn't think the man was good enough for his Shijie, which was true. Wei Wuxian would tell Jin Zixuan off or punch him when he was mean to her. Which happened repeatedly because Jin Zixuan was repeatedly mean to her.

Jin Zixuan was frequently an ass. Possibly a side effect of his 'Jin' upbringing. Wei Wuxian has found the majority of Jins to be assholes from time to time. Always ready to seat themselves above others, just like Jin Guangshan at the victory banquet in Nightless City. Wei Wuxian didn't believe for a second that Jin Guangshan expected Nie Mingjue to sit on Wen Rouhan's throne. No one who fought in the war would believe that Nie Mingjue would ever sit in the chair of the man who killed his father.

Jin Zixuan wasn't even the worst of the Jins. Most of the time his rudeness was just a lack of consideration for others. Not a good trait, but it isn't like Jin Zixuan was the only gentry who acted that way. Most of them did, to varying degrees. Jin Zixuan renting out an entire inn when his party could have easily settled in two or three rooms was not only wasteful, but prevented other people in need of rest from being able to find shelter. Of course, Jin Zixuan didn't think about that, and probably didn't care. What concern was it of his if other people suffered?

That was a disappointingly common mindset among the gentry, but at least many of them would have offered up space if they knew someone was in need of it. Wei Wuxian could hardly start holding grudges against people for that. He'd have to spend his whole life angry and exhausted by the fact that he couldn't change it.

Jin Zixuan frequently falling on the asshole side of those common inconsiderate gestures just meant Wei Wuxian didn't have a great opinion of him. Wei Wuxian might have poked fun at the Peacock over the years. Wei Wuxian definitely disapproved of Jin Zixuan's cruel behavior towards Shijie, but Wei Wuxian never really held any deep seated resentment for the Peacock.

Wei Wuxian could even admit, silently to himself, that Jin Zixuan was probably not even trying to be particularly mean spirited towards Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian would absolutely never say it out loud, because Jin Zixuan's treatment of her was unacceptable. But, Wei Wuxian can admit to himself that most of the time it was just like the inn. Jin Zixuan thinking only about Jin Zixuan, and not thinking about anyone or anything around him.

Wei Wuxian wasn't about to hold a grudge over that. Wei Wuxian had never held onto his resentments. Even as a child on the streets of Yiling, Wei Wuxian didn't resent the people who insulted him, or the ones who chased him away with kicks when he tried to take shelter too close to their store. He didn't resent the other people living on the street when they ate all the good scraps from the garbage bin before he got there. Dogs were the exception. Dogs were evil monsters. Wei Wuxian was also perfectly aware that it wasn't really resentment that he held towards dogs, just terror.

Even Wen Zhuliu after the fall of Lotus Pier... Wei Wuxian wasn't certain if he held a grudge against him. The man had to die. That was very firm in Wei Wuxian's mind. Wen Zhuliu had destroyed Jiang Wanyin's core. Wen Zhuliu had destroyed the cores of Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian.

Maybe Wei Wuxian could consider that a grudge, but his hatred had never been for Wen Zhuliu. Wen Zhuliu was following orders. Wei Wuxian could understand that, even if he didn't think it was an excuse. It was why Wei Wuxian never tortured Wen Zhuliu. As much as Wei Wuxian wanted revenge for Jiang Wanyin, for Jiang Fengmian, for Yu Ziyuan, for the only place he had had the chance to call home... Wei Wuxian still only ever planned to kill Wen Zhuliu. Wen Zhuliu's death for the lives that he took, for the lives he would continue to take.