NOT HELLO, THE CREATORS OF HERMITCRACC RETURN TO YOU FOR..
TANGO'S TRAUMA 🧍♂️✨
It was a day so cold you could die but also a day so hot you could die at the same time. It was a very special day. Tango's birthday. He is 82,000 now! Such a huge milestone-
Iskall, who was in his beautiful dainty princess dress walks to Tango, "Hi, I'm high," he then proceeds to walk away and leave poor Tango alone.
"It's my birthday," Tango sobs and goes back to his house which is probably an emo castle to reflect on his emo-ness. There's even a room for Him to act like Shrek.
"I'm home, emo lair," he says crying.
"WELCOME BACK ISKALL" it says.
"I'M TANGO WHAT THE FUCK"
The house starts playing emo music. Rain suddenly appears. Really in his full emo era.
"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY," Tango screamed, "AND NOBODY EVEN REMEMBERS"
Meanwhile, outside, people were swearing, "Goddamn it he's emo again?"
"Who even is that?"
"Grandma Ethel quit being emo and listening to My Chemical Romance!"
Tango sobbed harder.
"ITS MY BROTHDAY"
"Alexa, google birthday cake recipes," his cat he randomly got suddenly said. Suddenly the door burst open and Ariana Griande burst in. She started to sing emo music, Tango stared at her, terrified.
"WHO THE HELL IS THIS CRAZY WOMAN," he screamed.
"Oh, it's a celebrity. I called her to sing emo music," the cat said, ever so casually. Tango sobbed harder than should be humanly possible, he started to cry blood. Ariana Griande sang louder, drowning out Tango's sobs.
"OH MY GOD ARIANA GRIANDE," the entire town barged into the emo castle screaming. Iskall was at the front of the crowd wearing an Ariana Griande shirt over his giant dainty princess dress.
"Calm down everyone," says Ariana Griande in a British Accent.
"SHE'S BRITISH???" Everyone gasps, "BRIT TEA BOSTON TEA PARTY 1776 PRIVATE SCHOOLS BOTTAH OF WATTAH??"
"YES I AM. GET ME A BOTTAH OF WATTAH."
"OKAY YOUR MAJESTY" the entire town goes to get her water.
"I said a bottah a wattah not- what- a whole drug ton of them?!-"
"THEY ALL HAVE DRUGS IN THEM-"
"Uh, happy birthday to you-" the cat starts singing to Tango.
The rest join in in the most chaotic drug singing. Someone even dies.
"THIS IS WHY WE DON'T HOST BIRTHRDAY PARTIES"
"SO YOU GUYS DIDNT FORGET?!"
"No, we all remembered we just didn't want to host one. It's too dangerous. Last time we hosted one Dancing in the Thunder's plot happened." Said Iskall.
Tango became less emo after hearing that, "my emoness, it's going away!" He exclaimed.
Arianna Griande Vanished.
"NO NOT THE BRITISH GIRL"
"HER ACCENT WAS DECENT"
"BOTTAH A WATTAH NO"
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Tango went to see who it was and was greeted by Zedaph.
"HAPPY BROTHDAY!!" He shouted, presenting a bowl of soup to his friend.
"I am this close to losing it because of the broth."
"Brothday👹"
"Okay your majesty Queen CorisNshzhnsz the Thirty Sixth."
And then they all partied and drank beer and ate drugs. They were yummy.
And then Ren got arrested again.
"I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL ARE YOU KIDDING ME"
"WE NEVER RELEASED YOU"
"OH SHIT"
And so it ends. For now.
Tango still ended up crying later that day.
A/N: HEY GUYS KARLA EXCLUSIVE HERE- THANK YOU ALL FOR COMMENTING ON AZ'S *yes I'm aware you're ignoring my copy* version of the SAME STORY!!!!
YOU ARE READING
Hermitcracc (Trademarked)
HumorA story by two awesomely drugged creators/j, @ThatOneCandor and @TinyAzalea101, This one shot book is like NO OTHER. Yes.. they're one shots, but they aren't REALLY oneshots. They're on CRACC. Hermits, on CRACC, done right. Because everyone else doe...
