I Never Really Left

Two

On my way to her grave, I came across a small white rabbit. I brushed it off and continued to head to her grave, but it followed me. I remembered what Larissa had said to me in my dream. "White Rabbit". I turned towards it. "Larissa?" I asked. It jumped towards me. "If it's you- shape-shapeshift into yourself," I said. The rabbit jumped and turned into her midair. "Larissa," I breathed. I smiled but it quickly faded. "This is a dream. This isn't real is it?" I asked. "No no my darling it is. I promise," she put her hand on my cheek. Her lips made contact with mine. I'd had dreams like this, but this time, I could taste her lips. Hot chocolate as always. I smiled and tears streamed down my face. But then I glared at her. "How could you?!" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me before?! Why did you leave me?! Why did you let me believe you were dead?! How did you escape after I buried you?!" I screamed. I pushed her away from me. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry my love," she pulled me into a hug. I tried to push her away but something told me not to. "I couldn't tell you, no one can know. I had to make you believe that so that no one could know. I never meant to leave you, I just- it's complicated. I shapeshifted into a white rabbit and dug my way out. I then reburied the dirt so that it looked real," she told me. "I-I hate you..." I whispered. I said it as if it were a realization. It was. As much as I wished she would always come back- that it was a mistake- I didn't think about what would happen when she did. I realize that I hated her for leaving me and lying to me. I hated that she faked her death. I hated her. I pushed her away from me. "Y/N you don't mean that," she said. "Yes. I-I'm sorry but I do," I breathed. "I know you're angry with me but you don't hate me. Because that means you wouldn't love me. And you do love me still. Right?" She asked. I stayed silent. "Y/N. Tell me you love me! Please! Please tell me you love me!" She put both her hands on my cheeks and her voice broke. I didn't say anything. She let her hands fall to her side. "Is this even real?" I asked. She smiled and laughed. "This isn't real," I said. She nodded and disappeared. I looked below me and I saw footsteps in the snow. "Larissa! Wait I didn't mean it-come- come back!" I lied. The footsteps stopped. I fell to my knees and pretended to cry. I looked up and saw her standing above me. She smiled sadly. "You didn't mean it?" She asked. I didn't move. "I love you," she told me. I looked up at her. She leaned in and kissed me.  I didn't return it. I grabbed her by the arm. "Follow me," I said. I tied cloth around her eyes and led her to the school durning lunchtime. There were gasps and whispers around the courtyard. "She has been lying to us!" I shouted. Larissa tensed. "Y/N. Where am I?" She asked, her voice filled with suppressed rage. She took the blindfold off to see every single kid from Nevermore. Her breath hitched. "Y/N. What have you done..." she whispered. She ducked and pulled me down with her just as a knife was thrown towards her. "What's going on?" I asked. She grabbed my arm and ran to her old dorm. It was left untouched. She closed the door and locked it behind us. "What have you done?!" She screamed. I saw blood coming front her blouse. "L-Larissa...?" I asked panicking. "I..." she couldn't finish her sentence. She fell backwards against the door. "No! No not again!" I cried. I sat up again. "WHRE IS SHE?!" I ran straight to Enid. "Who...?" She asked confused. "Larissa!" I said. "Y/N. Not this again... it was probably another dream..." she said. I sighed and headed to her grave, looking for a white rabbit. Nothing. Damn it. My mind was playing tricks on me. I hated it. I always would. Tears filled my eyes, making my vision blurry. I blinked and they fell. That's when I realized. I did hate her. I hated her everyday for leaving me here on my own. And yet I just wanted for her to hold me in her arms again.