Paint splattered tear drops (A Jason todd x reader (Titans))

Visions and deaths

A/n: Hey guys so this chapter is the vision trigon gives y/n (which gives some insight into y/ns backstory) for this chapter Y/n will have her conscious speaking to her which will be in italics however other than that she (much like, many of the others) she will be thinking the vision is her reality and not really remember what's going on in the real world (Technically Kori, Donna and maybe Jason, not too sure what was going on there, knew what was happening in the real world but thought their visions were reality). 

Just a trigger warning: This chapter contains mentions and hints at suicide and death. I am unsure of this one but it may mention abuse. If you or someone you know is going through something please get help. You can contact kids helpline if you are aged 13-25 with the number 1800 55 1800.  I myself have called it and basically it'll have someone there who'll talk to you, it is absolutely free and they will not tell anyone unless it is something life-threatening or they are legally required to. You may also contact the suicide hotline at the number 13 11 14. I am available to talk to in pms if you require it, I might not be good at comforting or advice but I'll listen. 

Please know that you are worthy of love and that you have worth. Please know that somewhere out there someone loves and cares for you. You are not alone, if you are considering it, please do not kill yourself or harm yourself. You are loved <3

If you need to skip this chapter just comment at the end, here or on the next chapter and I shall fill you in on the more important bits.

Sorry this chapter is so long :)

I wake up in my shared bedroom. I slowly open my eyes and adjust to the light. I roll over in my bed to see my elder sister O/S/N sleeping in the bed next to mine. She's alive! I look at my sisters alarm clock, 5:00 am on a Friday. I knew O/S/N was going to sleep in again, particularly considering I'm almost always the one up before her (mostly because her alarm is super irritating) and she always ignores her alarm. I begrudgingly push myself out of bed and begin to get myself ready for the school day, I tend to do it as early as possible so I can have some free time before going into school. Once I had finished getting ready, I tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I made myself and my younger sister's lunch. I put the lunches aside then quietly made myself some breakfast eating all of it and then making something for my younger sister. I wanted to make it as easy as possible on my mother, I knew my father wouldn't be much help to her, of course he won't he never will, so I might as well. I grabbed my lunch and walked back to my room, ensuring to be extra quiet when I walked past my parents room, I did not want to wake up my father. Clever girl. I placed my lunch into my bag, looking at my sisters alarm '5:59' it read her alarm would go off any minute now. I quickly turned the alarm off and gently shook my sister to wake her up.

"Time to get up O/S/N." I whispered. Tell her you love her, that you feel she is worthy, that in your eyes she is perfect.

"Fuck off." Her voice groaned rolling over.

"You need to get ready for school." I whispered pulling the blankets off her.

"I'll skip today." She groaned sitting up. Don't let her.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes before sitting down on my bed. Idiot. I grabbed my phone and switched it on, checking a text my friend had sent me.

Hot bitch: Oi, there's a party at one of the popular kids houses after school, you wanna go?

Me: Which ones? Because most of them hate us.

Hot bitch: I don't know probably one of the Heathers?

Me: Which one because I really don't wanna be like Martha Dunnstock.