Live, Laugh, Loathe

Chapter 28: Drew

Until this moment, the baby was just this being in my uterus that my body was creating.

It might seem weird to some, but most days, it didn't even seem real. Not that I didn't know the baby was real, I'm growing it, for fuck's sake, but that the baby would still be real after delivery. Maybe it's because the nursery isn't ready yet, but I hadn't spent much time actually thinking about holding my baby.

But this party? Opening box after box of baby clothes, bottle sets, and other items. It's brought everything that I've thought about abstractly into sharp reality. In only a few weeks, I will give birth to a whole-ass human baby. He won't just be this invisible little gremlin punching me in various organs whenever he feels like it. He'll be out in the world, punching me in the face. Likely while screaming.

And I am so fucking excited.

"Alright, this is Diane and Matt's gift," Carly says, handing me a large gift bag. I'm seated on Damon's lap in one of the armchairs, surrounded by probably the best group of people I've ever known. He holds the bag for me as I dig through the tissue paper to pull out a large book.

At first, I think it's just a photo book. There's a little frame on the front, ostensibly to put in a family photo. But when I open the pages, I realize it's so much more. There are places for photos but also little prompts and charts. The purpose is for parents to chronicle their baby's life. Tears instantly well in my eyes; I don't think my parents ever made anything like this for my sisters or me. And at different points growing up, I always wished there had been something that showed my early years, a time that I couldn't remember but believed to be happy. I have a notebook on my nightstand filled with pages of thoughts and feelings about this baby. About the life I dream for us and Damon. I doubt Diane or Matt know anything about that; they just chose an easy but thoughtful gift. Regardless, I love it and can't wait to start filling the pages.

I look up and lock eyes with Diane, who also is crying. A wave of understanding passes between us, mother to mother, and I know she's one more person I can count on to be in my corner. "Thank you both. This, this is perfect. I can't wait to start using it."

Behind me, Damon leans forward to kiss my cheek before gently taking the book from my hands and adding it to the giant pile of gifts next to us. Maybe once everyone's gone, we can sit together and fill in the first few pages.

Before I can move on to the next gift, my bladder decides it's in urgent need of relief. So, I excuse myself to the bathroom and leave Damon to open his dad gifts from Collin.

When I return, I'm stopped short by the scene before me.

Damon has on a Hawai'ian shirt with what looks like my face on it? Underneath is a T-shirt that says 'Who's your Daddy?'. Richard throws dollar bills at him while he models and shows off the clothes, Collin recording and Danny playing a song you'd expect to hear at New York Fashion Week. They look ridiculous.

I shake my head laughing; they have got to be the most wonderfully immature men I've ever met. Diane joins me, smiling at the scene as well.

"Thank you for coming, Diane. I really appreciate that you and Matt came. And the gift, I can't wait to start using it."

"Oh, of course! We were delighted when we received the invitation. You know Matt and I both think of Damon as our sixth kid. And I'm sure you've heard that Matt hopes Damon will replace him as CEO once he finally retires." I nod, having heard that before. I don't doubt that Damon would be a fantastic CEO.

"He loves you very much." My head jerks back at her words. I feel myself frown in response.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I know he cares about me and that he loves this baby, but I'm sure most of it comes from just the natural instincts of fatherhood."