"Ancient Runes" a Severus Snape ff - Snape x OC

Chapter 33

Lysanna just wanted to be alone, to have her peace. She couldn't keep up the strong facade any longer. She had hoped too much that he would say something to her at least one more time that would show her what she meant to him, but Severus hadn't done her that favour. He hadn't even returned her hug, instead he had done what was right in the situation. He had remained professional. He had treated her the way you would treat a colleague.

After stowing her suitcase in the luggage rack, Lysanna collapsed onto the train's plush seat. She would leave just as she had come. With the Hogwarts Express. So far, she still had her compartment to herself, but Lysanna was already afraid that wouldn't stay that way for long. Saying goodbye to her was not easy for the students either, many had tried to persuade her to stay at Hogwarts because, if she was to believe the words of the students, she was probably the first professor whose ancient runes lessons weren't causing immediate petrifications of boredom.

With a loud clatter, the door to her compartment was pushed open shortly afterwards.

"Professor McGonagall. Is there still room here by any chance? The whole train is full." Hermione Granger asked with a friendly smile.

"Of course, come in." Lysanna replied politely and Hermione, Harry and Ron immediately crowded into the compartment with her. Hermione sat down next to her, the two boys facing her.

"Thank you, Professor." Hermione collapsed onto the cushion in relief.

"I am no longer your teacher. You can skip the professor, Hermione." Lysanna was tired of the formal salutations. It didn't matter anymore if the three of them saw her as a person of respect or not.

Slightly surprised by the personal address, the three looked at her with wide eyes. Lysanna couldn't help but smile.

"Don't worry, I won't take any more house points from you for anything. You're on your holidays and I'm back to work at the Ministry. I've had the pleasure of meeting your father a few times," Lysanna added to Ron.

"Oh yeah..well..yes. What department do you work in, pro...Yes." Ron stuttered.

This conversation at least distracted Lysanna somewhat from the thoughts of Severus that just wouldn't get out of her head and the three of them listened with interest as she recounted some intriguing cases she had worked on. Of course she had to leave out the names and details, but that didn't dampen the interest of the three students. All of these tales made Lysanna realise what to expect in the weeks, months, probably years to come. She would be one of many again. And that too in a department that no one really liked. She had never wanted to listen to her father when he had tried to explain to her that this was not the right way. She had never wanted to hear it when everyone had advised her against taking the job, she had never believed that one day she would feel the same way. Internal investigations, the traitors in our own ranks. But who were the traitors? Were the traitors people like Ron's father, who might have hexed a car, therefore breaking his own regulations? Or was she herself one of these traitors? Investigations in their own ranks when there were so many more important things than these small breaches of some silly service regulations. Unfortunately, Lysanna had to realise that the insight came a little too late. She pushed the thoughts aside quickly, blaming it on the many different emotions she had had to go through in the last few days and weeks. Once she was back, she would find pleasure in her job again.

At some point, when Lysanna really didn't feel like telling anymore silly stories, she pretended to sleep and turned towards the large window, closed her eyes and tried desperately not to have her mind think about Severus. Impossible.

-

She was gone.

Hogwarts felt so empty all of a sudden. The students were gone, but their absence didn't bother Severus in the slightest. Lysanna had only been gone for a few hours and already it felt like years since he had last been able to look into those beautiful blue eyes. Just about everything here reminded him of her. His office where he taught her the art of Occlumency, his living room where they drank more than a glass of wine together, his classroom, the great hall, everything about this damn castle reminded him of Lysanna. It was unbearable. He slammed the door behind him in anger after entering his office. With one powerful movement, he pushed all the books and scrolls of parchment, the candle and the inkwell off his desk. Only the loud clatter of the metal candlestick on the stone floor and the jarring shattering of the inkwell brought him back to reality. He was alone. Lysanna was gone and probably wouldn't come back.

Emotions took over him suddenly, Severus sank to the ground sobbing, tears uncontrollably streaming down his face and all of a sudden all the pain and all the anger and sadness that he had been holding back in the last few weeks welled up in him. It frightened him himself, he had last felt this way about twelve years ago. When he held Lily in his arms. Dead. The fact that Lysanna wasn't dead didn't make the whole situation any easier. On the contrary..

-

With a shrill whistle, the train announced the entrance to the station. For Lysanna, the drive had felt like an eternity, even though she had probably slept a bit in the meantime, most of the time her thoughts had been with Severus. The three students in her compartment were probably the only reason why she hadn't burst into tears. She missed him and with every meter that she walked away from Hogwarts the feeling that she had made a gigantic mistake grew.

"Goodbye, profess.." Harry started to say goodbye, but didn't finish his sentence, just grinned apologetically.

"Bye, you three!" Lysanna couldn't bring out more. Goodbye. No, there would probably not be a reunion anytime soon. And that was probably also the last time that someone had called her a professor.

Wistful, Lysanna got off the train as one of the last passengers. Families crowded the platform, eagerly waiting for their children to return. Everyone was laughing, running, hugging. Everywhere there was joy and happiness. Only Lysanna felt oddly alone and out of place. She quickly made her way across the crowded platform. She had to get away from here. As quickly as possible.

"Pardon," she murmured after bumping into someone. She hadn't even seen who she had bumped into. Lysanna just wanted to get out of here and get some fresh air.

"Lysanna, how lovely to see you again so soon.", the arrogant voice made her stop abruptly. Did she really bump into Lucius Malfoy? When she was forced to turn around, there was no longer any doubt about it. The cold grey eyes were already piercing her, Lucius' son Draco had positioned himself next to his father.

"Lucius." It was difficult for her to stay polite, at that moment she would have preferred anything but meeting Lucius Malfoy.

"You seem to have had a hard time saying goodbye, didn't you?" Lucius stated with a smirk, pointing the handle of his cane at Lysanna's face. It was only now that Lysanna realised that she had tears in her eyes. A very bad thing for a meeting with Lucius. She was trying to stay calm, trying to focus, trying to remember what Severus had been...NO! Stop! Those thoughts would only make everything worse. Lysanna had to pull herself together.

"What's the matter, Lysanna? Are you not looking forward to the Ministry?" Lucius provoked her further.

"Father, I think she's just scared of the snake!" Draco yelled laughing, pointing to the handle of the cane Lucius was still holding in front of Lysanna's face.

"Isn't it PROFESSOR! Just like in Potions class. What are you going to do this time, set my homework on fire or take house points from me?!" Draco taunted, laughing, probably to prove to his father how great he was.

"Get your luggage Draco!" Lucius hissed angrily, giving the boy a hint of a cane hit.

"Please excuse the disrespect. Sometimes the boy doesn't know what he's doing. I'm sure you'll quickly find your way around the Ministry again. With all the new colleagues and your new responsibilities. I think this will be a whole new chapter in your life." Lucius stated apologetically, but his challenging look and the smug grin on his face didn't bode well. What had he done? Lysanna wasn't sure if they were just empty threats or if Lucius had actually used his contacts to make her life difficult.

Lysanna walked away without saying a word. Normally she could always think of something to say in response to such threats, but her mind was blank. Too much had happened in the last few weeks for Lysanna to have a clear thought at that moment. She had to get out of here.

Once outside, London wasn't exactly showing its best side, because just as Lysanna had left the station building and crossed the street, large raindrops fell from the sky and before long she was completely soaked. The weather had evidently adjusted to her mood.

Arriving at the "Leaky Cauldron", she was at least received in a friendly manner by the innkeeper. There were still rooms left, so Lysanna didn't think twice and booked a room for the night. She needed rest and had no great desire to travel on to Edinburgh now. Unfortunately, with all the luggage, it wasn't as easy as expected.

Exhausted and her clothes soaked through, she collapsed onto the hard bed. The old wooden ceiling above her didn't ask any questions and so Lysanna just lay there and somehow tried to sort out the chaos in her head.