Cookierun Oneshots + Art

🍫🌼 i promise. 🌼🍫[purecacao]

PureCacao Hurt/Comfort

I wrote this while being driven to school
it was supposed to be a tiny hc 😭

TW: Attempted Suicide

-

Pure vanilla tried to take his own life by hanging himself.

Due to his stress, ptsd and clinical depression he's been making many mistakes, or missing things that were important to stopping dark enchantress. People have gotten slightly frustrated with him, accidentally saying things that they don't mean, but that Pure believed.
He thought of himself as useless, a waste of power that was worshipped solely because people crave his soul jam. He didn't think that he could provide anything anymore, that he'll just make everything worse and ruin everyones chances at living.
He tried to hang himself, and almost succeeded.
But whilst he was pulling the rope over his head, Black Raisin knocked at his door.
She exclaimed that she was worried about him, that everyone was, and wanted to make sure that he was ok, and not going to do anything stupid. She left him a donut right outside his door.
As he slowly began losing consciousness, he thought about what she had just said, everything. His hands reached to the tight rope around his neck, using the last bit of strength he had to pull on it, snapping the rope from the ceiling and saving his life.
He broke down after that, he didn't know if he was going to regret stopping his attempt, he didn't know how to move forward, how to reach out, not after what he just tried to do.
So he didn't, he stayed silent once again.

Dark Cacao wanted to visit him, he's noticed that recently, his love has been more.. distant and on edge. He was worried, especially once Black Raisin told him that he was mostly spending his days in solitude, which was very unlike him. Pure Vanilla looked somewhat, fine. Other than a few papers here and there, his hair being slightly messy and a random knocked over stool in the middle of the room (for extra space he said), he still seemed like the Pure Vanilla he knew and loved.
No, no he didn't.
Something was wrong.
Was he hiding something?
Why would be be hiding something?
They both sat down on Pure's bed, enjoying tea and each others company, chatting about birds. Cacao noticed a change about his husband, the way he anxiously caressed his teacup as he spoke, the way he pulled up his turtleneck almost every minute looking down to the ground, something was wrong, something was very wrong.
It might not have been so obvious to an outsider, but Dark Cacao knew the signs all too well.
He wanted to test something.

"My love, you know I'm just so glad I'm able to talk with you, I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."

"I-heh..! Your company alone makes me feel blessed as well, thank you."

Pure Vanillas face flushed, looking down as his shoulders instinctively shuffled up. His turtleneck folding up and falling down ever so slightly. His beautiful heterochromic eyes stared into Cacao's, they were almost impossible not to admire, but something else caught his attention.
On Pure Vanillas neck, a rope burn, purple and red.
Dark Cacao reached his hand to his lovers shoulder, slowly inching his fingers towards his neck.

"Nilla, is-is your neck alright?"

Already, he saw the panic in Pure's eyes, cutting out the lovey sparkles and instead shutting his eyes completely. He hastily threw his hands up to his turtleneck, pulling it up to cover the burn once more,

"Mm-yes, it's all alright, no need to worry! I'm fine." Beads of sweat form on the back of his neck, his plastered on smile quivering. Fuck, he couldn't know.
"It was merely a small accident, nothing that bad."

"May I know what accident it was?"
Dark Cacao's eyes shifted with concern, a stern look that seemed to be unbreakable simply complimented his serious tone. The healer seemed to shrink down slightly under his cold gaze, rubbing  his fingers more harshly against each other, anxiety pulsating through his hands.

"...I'd rather not.. talk about it."
The events of what conspired just a day earlier flew back into his mind fully, as if he was watching a movie about himself.

Dark Cacao just tightened his grip on his tea cup, he was lying, he could see it in his body language.
"Pure Vanilla." he spoke quickly, watching his love flinch to his change of tone, "Do you want to kill yourself..?"

Pure Vanilla froze, his own tea cup falling out of his hands and shattering on the ground.
"I-I..." his own began shaking, heightening ever so slightly as he took a sharp breath. The healer shrank down even more, pulling into himself as his arms wrapped around his stomach, nearly unnoticeable tears forming in his twitching eyes.
"...please d-don't be mad.."
he spoke terrified, talking barely above a whisper as if any louder would kill him. Tears began to fall, clear glistening tears, ones that Dark Cacao had never expected to see out of the strongest person he knew. They fell down Pure's cheeks, collecting at the chin, and then hitting the smashed tea cup on the floor.
He choked out a sob, like he was holding in much more than was showing, doubling over as if he wanted to disappear at that very moment.
His answer was clear, yes.
Yes, he tried to end his life, yes he was struggling, yes he needed help, yes he was scared. Dark Cacao sat shocked, he didn't know what to say at first, so he pulled Pure Vanilla into a hug. A tight comforting hug, one that his lover began to sob into.

"It's going to be ok, and I promise I'm not mad." Were the first words that came to Cacaos mind, he needed to reassure Pure Vanilla before anything else. "You know I love you, and that I care about you more than anything in the entire world." He caressed his lovers hair softly, listening to his (muffled) pained cries. "Please, you- I don't want you to be in this much pain.." his own set of tears forming as he fought to cry. "You can always, always talk to me, you-you can tell me when your hurting."
He stumbled on his own words as his tears began to fall, clutching Pure Vanillas weak body tighter as if he would disappear if he held too loose.
The healer only responded with more weeps, the more sobs he let out the more Cao's heart broke. He hated seeing his husband like this, if he could he would take on all of his burdens, just to see him genuinely smile again.
He buried his face into Pure's soft hair, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry my love, I should've noticed sooner."

PV's sobs slowly subsided, fading into whimpering as he finally returns the hug, his arms trailing under Cacao's and wrapping back around to his shoulders, tightly grasping them.
He lifts up his head for a moment, taking a shaky breath as if he wanted to say something, but then decides against it, resting his eyes down in the corner of his husbands neck.
"...I don't deserve you."

His volume hadn't changed, in fact he said it so quietly Dark Cacao couldn't even hear him.
The warrior hummed in confusion, un-verbally asking for further elaboration, and Pure continued,

"I-I'm just a burden, aren't I..? Every single time I try and help.. I only make things worse, hah-!!" he smiled painfully while speaking, his tears hadn't stopped and only kept pouring out faster as he sat up to look at the worried Dark Cacao, "Why do you even insist on loving me?? I'll only drag you down.. and then you'll-..."
He pauses to look down, "you'll... you'll hate me."

"Pure Vanilla, no."
The warrior spoke fast, gaining back his composure while his tears seemed to dry.
Dark cold fingers wrap around Pure Vanilla's chin, lifting his head up 'til his sad eyes meet Cacao's. "No, I'd never even bring myself to be fully upset at you, let alone hate you. Don't you ever think like that."
The healer only looked away, attempting to wipe his tears away to the best of his ability.
Cao sighed, "I don't know what I can do to prove it to you, but if anything you've picked me up from my own darkness." he rubbed the gem on his marriage ring, the blue diamond glistening under the faint light from the blinds, "You deserve to be happy, and I promise I will be here for you through this all." He closed his hand on Pure Vanilla's, who was breathing more steadily now.

"..promise?"

"From the bottom of my heart, I promise"
-

gosh I love this 😍
it's always lovely when the calm one (pv) breaks down into an inconsolable mess in front of his lover ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

i might make a pt 2 to this
where its like an aftermath
but i don't always like writing that so i may never make it
hshsjwhshskwnsh

ALSO HELP IF YOU TAKE THE THIRD PARAGRAPH OUT OF CONTEXT IT SOUNDS LIKE PV WAS CHEATING 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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