The Other Biersack [COMPLETED]

Chapter 21- I lost her

*ANDYS POV*

I stood there, wondering what just happened. I tried to process all I did, and said to Jane. What did I just do? I should of left her alone, I should you waited for the right time or just, I don't know.

With all these thoughts going around in my head I barely noticed Josh standing at the doorway. His face was pure white and in complete shock. I guess he heard as yelling and fighting.

I gestured him to come in and he does so closing the door. He just stood there not knowing what to do with himself. Hell, who would?

"Why are you here?" I asked weakly. I'm drained after what just happened. I'm just done.

Maybe that's how Jane was.

"I wanted to check on Jane. I haven't talked to her in awhile. A LONG while and I just felt bad, really bad."

I nodded understanding.

"How come you haven't talked to her?"

His eyes went wide a little and he looked a little nervous.

"Something happened and I just, I just couldn't talk to her."

I raised my eyebrow confused. What happened so he couldn't talk to her?

He played with his hands and he looked frantic and panicky.

"I couldn't talk to her cause Catlin threatened me."

What? A girl threatened him not to talk to Jane?

"Ok," I said, trying to grasp what he said. "What did this Catlin said?"

"She said that I can't go any where near Jane or she would spread a rumor about me that wasn't true at all. She was going to tell the whole school that I RAPED her. She had everything planned out."

I looked at him shocked. That's insane. Catlin would do and say that just to keep him away from Jane. Was she jealous? Did she know that he was protective of Jane and wanted him out of the way?

"Wow..." I whispered. He nodded.

I gestured to the couch for him to sit down. He did and I followed him.

"So I'm guessing you heard me and Jane..."

He nodded slowly. "I didn't mean to listen but it was kind of hard not to. I can't believe she would do that again."

"Wait you knew that she used to cut?" I questioned. He sighed out a yes. "Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged. "It's not my business to tell things like that. It's for her to decide whether or not to tell people. It's hard for her to talk about things like this, only if she knows her secrets safe with someone. That's why she told me when she started. Cause I would keep it with me, I wouldn't tell. She would usually talk to me when she was on the verge of relapsing or just sad but she hasn't. I thought it was because she was fine and that she would rise above this but it's the opposite. She's not fine, she needs someone. She's just done looking for help. She's done."

I nodded, I tried to understand all he had said. Josh slowly shook his head looking down. What's wrong with him?

"This is all my fault.." He whispered. I tilted my head. "If I just talked to her, helped her and didn't let Catlin get in my head, this wouldn't of happened. It's my fault I let her get hurt."

His voice was breaking up and cracking with each word. Does he feel something for her?

"She didn't relapse....did she?"

I thought back to when I saw her scars. I vaguely remember but I do and I do remember seeing a fresh cut. I shook my head getting the imagine out. I followed it with a yes.

"No. No. Oh this is all my fault. I promised I would protect her when we were little and I'm failing."

I looked at him. I saw me in him. I saw a boy trying to protect someone with all of his strength. He's like me. He's trying to protect Jane like I am. He promised her and I promised my parents. We're both failing, he's failing her and I'm failing my parents.

"Hey listen," I placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. It's my fault. I'm he brother and I'm with her 24/7 so I should be protecting her. You've been doing a better job than I have been. This is the second time I lost her."

Josh sniffed back tears that I didn't know we're on the verge of falling. I smiled at him to reassure him that it isn't his fault. He smiled back vaguely.

"Hey do you know where she would go to cool off? Just to get away."

"Well back at home she would usually be up in the trees but now since she moved here it's behind the abandoned shoe. The train tracks."

I nodded. "Thank you. Really. Thank you."

I got up and grabbed my keys. He followed me. "Are you going there?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah I'm going to check at the guys' houses first; Jake, Ashley, Cc, Jinxx, and Juliet. Just in case."

I stopped for a second. I need someone to look after Crow.

"Hey could you stay here? Look after Crow for me?"

I know it's risky asking a kid I barely know but Crow needs to be taken care of and well yeah.

He nodded and I smiled.

"Thanks"

Then I left.