By Your Side (Zuko x Reader) (Sequel to Torn Heart)

Chapter 12

No ones POV:
    "How was your evening?" Zuko asked from the window seat, as Y/N closed the bedroom door behind her.
    "I don't know," she moaned, plunking down on the bed, "The girls are awesome, but they don't want to wrestle, they don't find my jokes funny, or laugh when I burp. I miss my old friends! I want to go home!"
    She flopped down stomach first on the bed and buried her face in a pillow.
    "You are home," Zuko corrected.
    "You know what I mean!" she snapped.
    "Oh, you mean traversing the globe on a smelly bison with a bunch of nobodies!?" Zuko was on his feet, "If you miss them so much, why are you here? Why don't you leave? Find whatever hole they're hiding in and bury yourself with them. Will that make you feel better than being stuck here with me?!"
    Y/N was gazing at him over her shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks. She bit her lip, "No, I never said...I mean, I don't really want to...I'm sorry, I'm just surrounded by people all the time and I'm still lonely."
    Fuck. Yeah, that sounded familiar. She buried her face in her pillow again. Zuko sighed, cooling down quickly and realizing what an asshole he sounded like. He sat on the bed next to Y/N, "No, I'm sorry. You were just blowing off steam and I shouldn't have blown up like that. I'm just scared you're going to leave."
    "I wouldn't leave you, Zuko. I promised, remember?" her voice was muffled.
    "Sure," he didn't know how to say that her words didn't mean much to him.
    "Your sister's the worst," she continued on her rant, "She's trying to mess with my mind, make me think you're hiding things from me. I don't know what her problem is!"
    Zuko snorted, mirthlessly, "Believe me, no one does."
    Y/N rolled onto her back, "You're not hiding anything from me, right?"
    "Um..." Zuko gulped, remembering earlier that evening.
    The Avatar is alive. I want you to find him—and end him.
    Instead, he chose something else, "There is one thing...I've been to visit my uncle a couple times in his cell."
    Y/N sat up straight, "Really? How is he?"
    "Well, he's in prison, what do you think?" Zuko replied, "He's so furious with me. He won't talk to me, he won't even look at me."
    She grabbed his hand and his heart still lurched, "I'm sorry."
    "I deserve it after I turned on him. That's why I'm scared to lose you. I don't want to make the same mistake,"
    "You won't. I trust you. And there's no secrets between us anymore,"
    Zuko grinned, "Right."
    He felt lighter, now that she knew one thing, but the other larger secret was still a stabbing pain of guilt. He tried to push it down. No, she can never know that. I'll never keep anything from her again—except that. If she knew, she'd leave. And she can't leave me. Not ever. I can't ever let that happen. Not ever.

My POV:
    Thats how the next week went—domestic bliss with Zuko, smattered with a pattern of arguments, teary apologies, and make-up sex—repeat. I spent the days with him or with Azula and the other girls. And the nights Zuko and I took turns waking each other up from nightmares. Mine were always of Aang's death or watching my other friends die.
    Not that I could tell Zuko that. He didn't tell me what he dreamed about either anyway. He didn't need to—I knew.
    Speaking of which—
    "So...?" Zuko pressed, anxiously as we reached our bedroom again.
    "I...loved that dinner! The chefs really outdid themselves this time!"
    "You know that's not what I mean," Zuko said, but he did grin.
    "Oh, I don't know what to say, Zuko," I grumbled, shedding my evening clothes.
    "Be honest," he sat on the bed, watching me undress, not making a move to do so himself—though I suspected he was more an anxious audience that a captivated one.
    "I still don't like your dad, okay?...He was polite, I'll give him that, but cold—for the fucking Fire Lord. He reminds me of Azula, like they talk to you like they're trying to be nice, but they look at you like you have a 'Kick me' sign on your back,"
    "Yeeaah, that's fair," Zuko came up behind me and hugged me, meeting my eyes in the full-length mirror, "Thanks for trying."
    "Of course," I turned my head to kiss him on the mouth.
    Truth was I deserved a fucking award for that performance. Fire Lord Ozai was somehow exactly how I imagined and not at all. He was as intimidating and—as I said—cold as I thought. But he was also a human being having dinner with his children, meeting his son's girlfriend.
    I bowed low to him as Zuko taught me and held back a torrent of insults. I had seen what this man had done to the world—to my friends—he was behind it all. Worst of all, this was the man who scarred Zuko, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally. I saw how hard it was for him to trust, how he carried shame and every mistake and failure around like physical baggage, how he couldn't understand the idea of forgiveness or unconditional love.
    I could see why from just one dinner with the three of them. Even Azula was straining under the weight of their fathers gaze, I realized. She reacted differently, but she was as wounded as her brother. I was far from liking that bitch, but in that moment, I felt for her.
    I got into bed with Zuko, both of us having changed into pajamas, and snuggled in close to him, giving him a little squeeze. He laughed, "What's with you?"
    I didn't like the way Ozai and Zuko looked at each other at all. I wanted to separate the man I loved from this relationship as far as I could. But Zuko wasn't ready to see that yet, so I decided all I could do for now was love on him the way he deserved.
    "Nothing. I just love you."
    I only wish I had been able to do that longer.