A Part of My Memory

Elliot

Zara cried herself to sleep in my arms on the bathroom floor.

I waited a moment longer before placing one arm under her knees and one under her back, carrying her as I stood. I managed to unlock the bathroom door and as soon as the key turned Harley snatched the door open.

"Is she okay?" She asked hurriedly as the door flew open then noticed Zara's sleeping form in my hands. Harley's eyes were red and puffy, and both my parents walked out of Zara's room, concern written all over their faces.

"Come put her to bed, honey," my mother said, re-entering Zara's room to get the bed ready.

I followed and carefully placed her on the bed, careful not to wake her. I covered her with a sheet and then left the room.

"She has her memory back," Harley said, sniffling. "Does that mean she has to leave now?"

"Of course not," my mother assured her.

"But what if she wants to?" Harley worried, her lower lip quivering. "Now that she knows we're not her family, she may not feel as comfortable as she did."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow," my mother said. "It's 2 am right now and we don't want to wake her."

Harley sighed but nodded and entered her room, my mom went to comfort her while my dad returned to their room and I made to go to mine but I paused.

What if Zara woke up again? I didn't want her to cry on her own, so I grabbed my blankets and pillow from my room and made a bed for myself on Zara's floor.

****

I woke up the next morning but Zara wasn't in her room. She couldn't have gotten up much earlier than me judging by the tear stains still on her pillow.

My heart clenched. I was hurting for her, and I couldn't imagine just how much she was hurting. I got up then and headed downstairs, though the last thing I expected to see was Zara seated at the table with my mother.

"I know honey. And just so you know, you are free to stay," my mother said to Zara.

She had her head lowered, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, several scrunched-up tissues on her lap. "I don't belong here. You're not my family."

"Yes, we're not family," my mother admitted and Zara looked up at her then. "But you've grown on us, and we all want you to stay. And you can't afford to be alone, at least not now. So please, stay. I insist."

Zara sniffed once. Then twice. Then her face crumpled and she broke into sobs. My mother got up to comfort her as she cried.

"Does it ever get better?" Zara asked through sobs.

"It does," my mother said, softly patting her back. "Trust me, it does, I know. It may feel like it won't, but eventually, it will."

Zara nodded, but the tears didn't stop. My eyes burned and I had to look away before I started crying again, but that didn't stop the sorrow that I felt for her. I turned to go back to the room but found Harley standing on the top steps.

She slowly descended and, hearing Zara's choked sobs, whispered, "she's not okay."

"It's really hard for her, Harley."

She nodded in understanding then asked, "can I go?"

I knew what she meant. They hadn't spoken since she got her memory back.

"How about we wait?" I suggested and took a seat on the steps.

Harley joined me. "Do you think she wants to stay?"