21st August 2011
Dear Diary,
I had an emotional rollercoaster ride today. Guess what happened?
I went to the classroom during break as most students stay at canteen to eat. I didn’t want to return his jacket while other students witnessed and judged us. I knew he stayed in classroom during breaks so I decided it was a good time to return it.
I had washed his jacket thoroughly yesterday and after making sure it was perfectly clean, I put it in my bag along with a chocolate as a thankyou gift and a thankyou note.
I reached the classroom and looked inside. There weren’t any other students except his bunch of friends who were eating their lunch at their table. But he was nowhere to be found. I went to them anyway.
I asked them about him. They must have thought I was one of the chicks trying to get his attention because one of his friend spoke, “You’re here to pursue him aren’t you? Have you looked at yourself? There are so many beautiful girls chasing after him and you think he’d even look at you? You’re way out of his league.”
His words hit me right into my heart. I didn’t come here to pursue him but I felt extremely hurt by his words. Afterall, I had started developing a small crush on him and had dreamt of being together with him. Hearing his words hit me back to reality. I was indeed out of his league, I shouldn’t dream of the impossible.
As I felt tears stinging my eyes, I felt the urge to run away from there as I didn’t want them to see me cry. I kept his jacket and chocolate with thankyou note pasted on it, on his empty desk and ran away. Never had I felt so ashamed of myself. I had started feeling insecure, of my chubby cheeks or small height or other lack of girly things I was supposed to have, which encouraged them to mock at me.
I washed my face with water in the washroom, making sure there was no sign of tear on my cheek and no evidence that I cried. After the break was over, I quietly walked down to classroom, avoiding the gaze of everyone, especially the ones who insulted me and also the one due to which I was insulted.
As I sat on my desk, I saw a note pasted on my desk. I picked it up to look at it.
“Sorry for the rude behaviour from my friends. Thankyou for the chocolate though, it’s my favourite one.”
My heart skipped a beat after reading that. I slowly looked up to his desk and caught him staring at me. But instead of turning back abruptly like I’d have supposedly done, he striked his charming smile at him.
Did I mention his smile was contagious? It made me smile back too.
And that’s how all my negative thoughts got washed away with a smile.
Love
Your Owner
