Imperfect Love (a Sokeefe fanfic)

titled Part 30

Sorry this isn't an update. Please read it anyways.

I'm sorry you asked for my opinion and didn't like it.

I'm sorry you asked for the truth and I gave it.

I'm sorry I love music too.

I'm sorry you're not as strong as me. I should be weaker.

I'm sorry I don't have the same sense of humor as you. 

I'm sorry that I don't laugh at stuff I don't find funny. 

I'm sorry you miss how I was.

I'm sorry I'm loud.

I'm sorry I don't fit your standard.

I'm sorry I'm not like you! 

I'M SORRY I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

All of this is my fault and I'm sorry. 

But....

I'm not sorry I gave you the opinion you asked for.

I'm not sorry I didn't lie when you asked for the truth.

I'm not sorry that I'm learning an instrument and you're not.

I'm not sorry I know how to defend myself. Even if it means I don't know my own strength.

I'm not sorry that I prefer dark humor.

I'm not sorry that I don't mislead you with laughter.

I'm not sorry that I have a growing personality.

I'm not sorry that for once I'm feeling happy.

I'm not sorry I don't care what you think of me.

I'm not sorry I'm my own person!

I'M NOT SORRY YOU CAN'T EXCEPT ME AS I AM!

I get blamed  telling truth because it hurt. 

I'm in pain too.

I get yelled at if you're in a bad mood. Try being depressed and hurting but too strong to crack and ask for help.

You claim that I can't fathom your passion for music when most times music is all that get me through the day.

You claim you're stronger but I've held out through every blow, both physical and emotion and mental, while you cower if I stop smiling.

You try to explain your jokes to make me laugh. Did it occur to you that I don't love that kind of joke.

You say you miss how I was. You ask 'when will old you come back?'. CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME?!

You say that your school friends are cooler cause they get panic attacks if a single hair is out of line. SO I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED COOL?! IF YOU CAN'T EXCEPT MY 'DEVIL MAY CARE' ATTITUDE THEN YOU AREN'T WORTHY OF MY FRIENDSHIP!!

YOU CALL ME WEAK AND COWARDLY! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE!! WHEN THINGS GET HAIRY I TAKE THE BLAME FOR YOU!! NOT ANYMORE!!! I'M HURTING EVERY SINGLE SECOND BUT I LEAST I'VE COME TO TERMS WITH IT!!!! AT LEAST I HAVEN'T BROKEN YET!!!!!!

If you can't like me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough. 

BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T EXPECT PERFECTION FROM ME!!!!

You come to me for help. I'll listen to you rant all day and at least I'm trying!

But if I utter a word it goes right over your head. 

People say that the quiet should be allowed to speak. But do you ever wonder why the loud yell? 

It's because we're always talking in hopes of being Heard. 

I'm the rock my siblings run to if they've been hurt. It's hurt me to know that even though they'll never admit it they wish I could be chipper all the time.

I CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?! I can't. 

I'm sorry I'm the imperfect child. 

I'm sorry I was the second born.

I'm not sorry that I'm forgotten and treated offhanded without a speck of remorse because that's not my fault.

I'm not sorry for all of that because I'm not in the wrong.

Please tell me that you don't relate. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.

LIA out.