a series of sbi oneshots

Totally Not A Vampire

Techno hates front desk duty. There’s a reason he shoves this particular chore off on Wilbur--what’s the point of having the kid around if not for free labor? Well, there’s actually several reasons.

For one, he is a teacher he is meant to be spending his time teaching. For another, he hates interacting with the public. They’re all fucking idiots.

Especially the idiot Techno is currently dealing with. “Sir,” he says in his best ‘competent hunter tone’, “it is extremely unlikely that you encountered a fledgling, especially out on its own, the sire would be nearby.”

“I’m fuckin’ telling you,” the guy shouts down the line, “there’s a fucked up little demon kid under my shed! He atttacked my fucking goats!”

Techno sighs. “Vampires can only be sustained by human blood, sir, none of them would have any interest in your goats.”

“Tell that to my fucking goats!”

Techno sighs.

“I’ll fucking catch it and bring it to your souped up fancy school, you’ll see!”

The line disconnects with a click.Techno gratefully puts the handheld back in its cradle and rubs at his temples.

“Enjoying yourself?” Phil asks, shutting the office door behind himself. He’s still geared, sword at his waist, gorget high on his throat, but he’s ditched the helm for his usual hat.

“There’s gonna be some fucking idiot bringing us a raccoon or something,” Techno informs him.

“Oh?”

“Apparently there’s some, quote: ‘fucked up demon kid’ under his shed eating his goats.”

“But--”

“Yes, I told him.”

“I see.”

***

The cage isn’t silver, its only steel and plastic, but that’s enough to keep him contained. It doesn’t burn him, but he’s nowhere near strong enough to break out of it.

“Please,” he whimpers, “please let me out.”

The man kicks the cage and Tommy yelps, pressing himself into the furthest corner. “Shut the fuck up,” the man snaps. “You’ve caused me enough fucking trouble. You know what those goats cost you little monster?”

“I’m not,” Tommy sobs, “I’m not a monster please--”

“I said shut up, or I’ll pull that cloth off and let the sun take care of you instead of the hunters.”

Tommy whines, pressing his hands to his mouth. His eyes burn with tears and he lets them fall down his face. He’s going to die, there’s no point in being strong anymore. He tried so hard to be, even when Dream was mean, even when he ran away and he was alone, even when he was so thirsty that his stomach was tying itself in knots.

He’s been strong, just like his parents told him to be, he hasn’t been weak, the way Dream hated. It doesn’t matter, it never mattered, he isn’t strong enough. He’s still weak.

Weak and stupid enough that he got caught by a human and now he’s being taken to the hunters. And they’ll use him to let their students practice killing vampires, the man told him so. Tommy knows its true, he heard about what happened to vampires who got caught all the time.

Now he’s been caught and now he’s going to die.

Again, a part of him whispers spitefully.

The cage swings into the air and Tommy can’t help but scream. He braces himself on the walls--they press in so close, too close, they’re going to crush him, he’s going to die before the hunters even get to him--and then the floor slams onto something.