Diary entry 1- January 16, 2023 Wish I could write in my diary about positive things that happen to me, but it never seems to go that way. I can't stand this life anymore. I literally cannot go one day unbothered. You'd think that people would just leave me alone and I'd be happy living in the background, but no. Fucking Jungkook and his little army (lol army is what they call bts fans I forgor) want to torment me every single day of my god forsaken life. I'm seriously so over it I've taken his shit for like 6 years at this point. I think I'm gonna start fighting back. Finally I will gain my confidence back. Ugh the entire situation makes me sick I hate being here I wish I could curl up into a ball and never see the light of day again.
Everything is humiliating. Derek Treg. Out :(
I close my diary, nobody can tell that's what it is because it says Quarn (Quran) on it from that one religion project we all did as freshmen.
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Just goes to show how much I really care about school, I can't even buy a new notebook for the year. It's last period finally. I get myself together and head to my next class, ac lab, cautiously focused on my surroundings, begging the gods above that Jungkook doesn't find me and bother me any more today. It is still the beginning of the year though, so I'm not quite familiar with my schedule yet. I am definitely careful everywhere I go. After rounding the corner into the biology room, I am greeted by Mr. screech. We say our hellos and I dismiss myself to go work in the B wing. "If I hear any complaints you'll have to sit with Jungkook in here." Scret jokingly says as I head for the door. I stop dead in my tracks. Did he just say Jungkook? There's no possible way. I didn't even see him. He wasn't here before. I whip my head around to see his sinister smile looking back at me. He gives a little wave and before I could remember to breathe he starts, "Just transferred in, happy to see me?" My heart sinks. I quietly turn back around and start for the B wing. A million things are racing through my head as I try to calm myself down. I feel like a ghost. For what feels like an eternity, I'm walking down the hall. Suddenly I trip over my shoe laces and fall to my knees, breaking the impact with my hands. No sooner than I meet the ground, Jungkook is lifting me up and bringing me to my feet again. I quickly jerk away and gather my books. "I was just trying to help." He says quickly. He had a troubled blushed look on his face. One that can only be described as flustered. Genuinely what the fuck is happening right now. I stumble as I walk away again, almost to the booth. As I gather my thoughts, I sit down and prepare to do some algebra work. This is the only thing that calms my mind these days. Ten or so minutes pass and I find myself pulled out of my little zone and back into reality. "Hey, Derek Treg? Can I just talk to you for a minute?" I knew that voice anywhere. What was he doing here? I snapped my head up from my studies. "What do you want? Can't you tell I'm busy here?" I said sternly, hoping he'd go away. "I was just wondering if I could start over with you." He began, my heart sank instantly. What was this about? Was this another one of his pranks? "What are you talking about?" I asked, nervously biting my lip as he began. "I just want to apologize. I've been a real asshole to you and I am aware of what I'm doing. I-I don't know how to say this. I've been like this to you because I'm jealous. Nothing goes right for me and you seem to have it all. Bullying is a coward's way in life, and I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm not gonna act like that anymore. I have wished we could be friends my entire life, I just never knew how to ask. I want to fix things between us." I could tell he was running out of things to say. "Is this another one of your jokes or are you serious about this, because I can't keep getting hurt by you." I chimed in before he could continue with awkward filler and hand gestures. His face went pale. "N-no I'm not playing a joke on you. I really want this. I don't know how else to say it so I said it straight up.." he stammered, now fidgeting with his fingernails. "Could I sit down with you?" He asked, defeatedly. I silently slid my backpack on the floor as a signal for him to sit down. He took the seat next to me, awkwardly close though, in a way no enemies should probably sit with each other. I was unsure what to even do so I just pretended it wasn't happening. Then, right when I thought it couldn't get much weirder than this, I found myself having small talk with my childhood rival. As the minutes passed, I even began to laugh at what he was saying. I lost track of myself and was interacting with him like we have been best friends for as long as I can remember. It was a bittersweet feeling. I left school that day with happiness still on my face.
