Goodbye beautiful // King Roan

Chapter 10

Pushing me into my room they closed the doors and locked them. I roared behind clenched teeth and threw my holster on the bed in frustration. Another furious scream left me as I sank to my knees. My chest heaved, my eyes a silver fire, my fist clenched so hard that my short nails dug into the skin. Now in the silence the pain came back.

"Accept and ignore." I whispered to myself to get control. "Accept and ignore. Accept and ignore. Accept and ignore." After a while the pain faded, just like the fire. My breathing normalized and I opened my eyes, calmer now. It was a mantra I've used ever since my people died. To accept the pain I felt and ignore it to continue on, to seek revenge. Because last time I let pain and grief take me over I almost died. I couldn't afford that mistake again.

I would avenge Octavia.

Walking over to my satchel laying on the desk I grabbed it and sat cross legged on the ground. I opened it and searched for the metal jars in the bottom of it. Pulling them out I sat the five jars on the floor. Taking another deep breath I picked up the jar with a white circle on it. Opening the lid on the metal jar I dipped my finger in the white paint and began drawing the two white lines over my right eye. Meanwhile I was murmuring the words of the grieving phase. "Abbracciare il cielo notturno e prometto che ti vendicherò." (Embrace the night sky and I promise I will avenge you). In Westari whenever someone you cared for died you did this little ritual. It was to honor their life and courage. It was a farewell to a friend. And a promise to seek revenge.

Closing the jar again, I took another. The red paint. A sign for war and battle. It depended what symbol was drawn, a hand meant that you were out for blood, for vengeance. A flower meant that you came in peace. A feather for justice and so on. I dipped my palm into the red color and pressed it against my neck and cheek. Looking in the mirror I was faced with my battle face. It was years since I last used the Wesatri symbols but it felt good to honor my people, my home. I wasn't afraid to use my symbols anymore, just like I wasn't afraid that anyone would see the tattoo on the back of my hand.

I sat on the floor for a while, meditating, preparing for battle.

The door suddenly opened behind me but I didn't turn around. My fists were clenched so tight that my knuckles were turning white. My fingers itching to grab my trident and take revenge on Octavia. But I couldn't do that now, so instead I exhaled and straightened up.

I turned my head to whoever entered my room. A scowl made its way onto my face by seeing him. He too had war paint on his face, white and black. I glared at him and tilted my head to the side.

"We're leaving soon." he said, his low voice echoing in the room.

"I'm not going to fight on the same side as the people who killed mine." I said just as low and cold. Standing up I walked towards my bed. I picked up the holster that held my trident and put it over my back. Securing the daggers in the belts I rounded him heading towards the door, ready to cruise through the city to calm down.

But I didn't come that far. He gripped my arm and pulled me back towards him. He stood so close that I could smell the blood and ash, his eyes flashing angrily and dangerously.

"You don't have a choice." he hissed at me, anger radiating from him. I wasn't given a chance to object because he dragged me with him down to the elevator. I could've pulled a dagger on him, trying to escape but I saw the look in his eyes. He was furious. I had never seen him that angry before, not even when the Flame was stolen. And I knew if I tried anything he wouldn't hesitate to kill me, even if I still had full immunity.

Exiting the building we were met by two horses and Echo. If Roan hadn't held my arm in an iron grip I would've launched at her, clawed her eyes out, ripped her tongue out and left her for the vultures. But I didn't. Suddenly Roan stepped in front of me, blocking her from the daggers glared at her. I slowly looked up at him, the hate still there. He didn't say anything but started tying my hands together. I gave him a 'is this really necessary?' look but he didn't say anything. Of course, I was on a leash again. With a nod of his head he mentioned for me to get up on my horse and I did as he said. Though it was a bit harder now that my hands were tied, but I still managed to make it look flawless. He then tied the rope on his saddle and sat up himself. Another gaze was sent in my direction, a warning not to do anything, before he urged his horse forward. Echo and I steered our horses next to his. Leaving the tower behind we met with the army at the market and started the journey to Arkadia.