Goodbye beautiful // King Roan

Chapter 12

The stabbing pain was the first thing that came back. Then the headache. Then the sounds. I heard fighting. Confused, I slowly opened my eyes, the bright light making the headache worse. It was pulsing in the rhythm of my heart beating. I pressed a hand against my head, trying to soothe the pain. My other hand pressed against my right side, something warm and sticky covered it within seconds. My eyes opened completely and the first thing I saw was the knife in my side. Gasping at the pain I pressed my hands against it, stopping the blood somewhat. A sob escaped my throat as white hot pain stabbed me, my face twisted in pain.

"Khalida." Someone suddenly said and I looked up in his blue eyes. I realized now that the truck had stopped. Roan was crouched next to me, his eyes scanning over me. Either I hit my head too hard or it really was worry I saw in his eyes. I must've hit my head too hard, why would I otherwise observe his features so closely? Why would I otherwise be thinking that his Azgeda scar was beautiful?

Suddenly his arms went under my knees and my back, slowly lifting me off the ground. I didn't have the strength to protest or even hold on to him. My head was leaned against his shoulder and I watched as he got off the truck. I gasped as the pain once again came stabbing in my side. My eyes closed for a brief second.

"Clarke, Bellamy!" he yelled at them. He moved towards the rover and they both got out, confused. "Khalida's been hit." Bellamy opened the back door and Roan got up in the backseat before putting me down on the floor. Clarke came up on my other side. She moved my hands from the wound, inspecting it. Accept and ignore, I told myself, accept and ignore. Trying to ignore the pain, but it was hard. My breath seemed to be stuck in my throat.

"We need to take the knife out." I heard her say. A short cry left me as she pulled out the knife. I tried to move, tried to get away from the pain but someone held me down. Clarke opened my coat and lifted up my shirt and pressed a piece of fabric against it. "Thanks to the leather armor it wasn't too deep." I gasped for breath as she wrapped another piece of fabric around my torso. My fists unclenched when the pain finally decreased. Twisting my head to the side, Roan's eyes suddenly met mine and he moved towards me, eyebrows furrowed. Lightly pushing my head to the side he looked at the wound in my hairline. I felt his finger lightly touch it, just above the headache.

"She hit her head too, but it's not deep." he informed Clarke before getting up and jumped out of the rover. Turning to us again he had a colder gaze and said. "We need to leave as soon as possible."

"Ok." Clarke told him before turning towards me again. I was breathing hard but the pain was bearable now. "This will be enough for now. I recommend you to rest here." I only nodded as she got out of the rover and closed the door behind her.

Somehow I was able to sleep for the last part of the drive and woke up when Clarke slightly shook me. She told me that we were by the boat already and I got up, a bit strained but was able to get out of the rover without too much pain. Walking around the rover I headed to the boat where Jackson, Bellamy and some other guard were. Suddenly a hand gripped my arm and I turned towards Roan.

"Here, I found it among the barrels." he said and handed me my satchel.

Baffled, I took the satchel from his hands, not remembering losing it. "Thank you." He brushed past me without a word. Clarke came up to me and side by side we got on the boat, all fuel already on the small ship. We were all standing at the back as the boat started.

The drive was quite short. My eyes stayed on the water all the time, wanting to hide the pain I suspected showed in them. Even if the wound was taken care of, it still hurt a lot, mostly when I moved. Once the boat docked at the pier I helped the others unload the fuel meanwhile Clarke headed to her mother. It took a long time to get the barrels to the lab and when we finally reached the house I was ready to collapse. It had been a bad idea trying to move the heavy barrels, my side screamed in pain now. Barely listening to the guard giving instructions where my room was I rushed towards it. I didn't even take the time to admire the beautiful building, other than that it was all so white and open and modern and all so high tech. 

But once in my room I gasped at the pain and doubled over. So much for trying to ignore it. I squeezed my eyes together and took a few deep breaths through my mouth. Taking off my coat and holster and belts I put them on the table. Pressing a hand against the desk to stabilize myself I lifted the hem of my shirt to see the fabric soaked in blood. This was really bad. With gritted teeth I hissed at the pain.

A knock was heard on my open door and I instinctively dropped the hem of the shirt and turned to the person in the doorway. Roan was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "Let me see that." he ordered with a stern voice.

"It's nothing." I bit back and tried to keep the pain from my face.

"Show me." he repeated and pushed off the doorframe. Stalking over to me he stopped right in front of me, blood and ash washing over me, cold eyes staring at me, challenging me to disobey him. Huffing I lifted the hem of my shirt and bit the inside of my cheek when seeing the bloody fabric. "Come on, we need to take care of that." he pressed a hand between my shoulderblades and steered me towards the bathroom in the hall. Rolling my eyes at him I told him that I could take care of it myself.

"You just said it's nothing. I don't trust you to actually do it." he rumbled and opened the door for me. Stepping inside the fancy bathroom I was too pissed at him to admire the beauty of it. I was pissed that I could do nothing but obey him. Roan stood in front of the door with his arms crossed, keeping me from escaping. Rolling my eyes at him once again I grabbed the hem of my shirt and brought it over my head. It would just be in the way. I pushed away the insecure thought that reminded me that I was standing in a sports bra and pants in front of him. Unwrapping the fabric from my torso I looked at the real damage. I would have to burn that after cleaning it.

Thankfully it had stopped bleeding now. Grabbing a towel next to the sink I opened the tap and soaked the towel. I began to clean the blood away and gently pressed at the wound. Pain streamed up my body and I closed my eyes while grimacing at the pain. Taking a deep breath and letting it out a few seconds later I opened my eyes. Throwing the towel and fabric into the sink I sighed.

Footsteps came towards me and I turned to Roan who stopped a meter away from me. His eyes were emotionless but I could sense some kind of concern, otherwise he wouldn't have cared so much. He inspected the wound closer and put a cold hand against my skin. Looking away from him I felt my cheeks heating up. A strange warm fuzzy feeling ran down my spine as his thumb brushed over my skin, right above my hip.

"It needs stitching." he said, his head so close that it felt like he whispered in my ear. Dropping his hand from my side and stepping away to rummage through the cabinet I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Intense.

"Sit." Roan's voice broke me out of my thoughts. Twisting my head to him I saw a sewing kit in his hand and he pointed at the counter. I was about to protest when I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to do it myself. Glaring at him I huffed and jumped up on the counter. My back leaned against the mirror behind me and Roan walked over to me, a threaded needle in his hand. Once again I ignored the fact that he stood very close to me. I kept my gaze somewhere else, bracing myself for the sting. But I didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on the scars all over my upper body.

It struck me like the knife had and I gripped his upper arm, hissing in pain and my head turned towards him. He stopped his movements and looked up at me. Clenching my jaw I let go of his arm and gripped the countertop instead. I slowly adapted to the pain and cursed under my breath as Roan continued to stitch me up. The worst feeling was the thread going through my skin, it was very uncomfortable.

Five stitches later Roan straightened up and cut off the thread. I leaned my head back against the mirror and let out a breath. "Why?" I questioned and opened my eyes, turning to him.

Roan who now stood by the door raised a brow at me. "Why what?"

"Why are you acting like you care about my well being?" I hissed, the pain from the wound making me more hostile.

"I don't. I just need you to be able to fight." he answered before exiting the room. Tiredness washed over me and I returned to my room. But I left the door open behind me and went over to the bed. The closed doors made me feel claustrophobic, I was so used to the big open forests and Polis. Laying down I sighed in comfort, I had never slept on a so soft bed ever before. I really sunk into comfort, like a marshmallow.

Yet I couldn't fall asleep until I grabbed the pillow and blanket and made a bed on the floor.