Make You Mine

-MYM- (21)

Lea sat quietly at the passenger side while Aga drives.

"Babes, before we go to Aj, can we talk first?" Aga asked and Lea looked at him.

"Of course babes." She answered and Aga nodded as he parked the car on the side of the road inside the village where Lea's parents live.

"Why'd you do that?" Aga started in a soft tone and grabbed her hand.

Lea cannot speak for a brief moment making Aga continue his question.

"I heard your argument with Dawn earlier Lea. I was on the phone with Pipay." Aga said and Lea's tears fell. She just bowed her head.

"I'm diagnosed with PTSD Aga. Wh-when I found out that Aj has leukemia, I started to have depression, it was really not that severe--- I'm sure you heard me talking about our daughter right?" Lea said straight but her hands are shaking, she knew she's having panic attacks again.

"Hey--- you don't have to tell me the whole story yet, I just wanted to make sure that you will not attempt to take your life again." Aga comforted Lea and kissed her shaking hands.

"But I want you to know everything, just-just be patient with me." Lea said determinedly and Aga just smiled at her encouragingly.

"Before we go there, I wanted to say I'm sorry Aga. I honestly thought you didn't came on our wedding, I was so stupid to believe that letter! I'm sorry about Aj too. I intentionally hide the truth because I was so scared that you'll get mad at me."

"To be honest Lea, if you told me then, I don't trust myself that I'll believe you." Aga said and Lea pulled her hand from him.

She knew she was right.

"But--- as I said, my love for you is stronger than any of your lies Lea. Alam ko, pipiliin kitang mahalin sa kabila ng lahat." Aga said truthfully and Lea cried again.

She sobbed so hard and Aga just held her in his arms.

"I got pregnant after what happened to us in Amsterdam--- Takot na takot ako Ags.. Pano kung may sakit din yung baby paglabas niya? I was alone and all I have was my sick son with me. That's when it all started. The panic attacks, the suicidal thoughts, and only Aj and my pregnancy kept me sane.. Gustong-gusto kong umuwi nun babes.. ---" Lea said while crying she looked up and saw that Aga is crying as well.

"I badly wanted to go back, but then--- I saw Mikee in Japan, she approached me while I'm already 9months pregnant with our daughter, she told me kayo na ulit at wag ko na daw kayong guluhin.. I didn't want to believe her.. When I return to the hospital where Aj was in.. I had panic attacks because it all dawned to me again that I was alone and miserable while you are already happy with her." This time, not only her hands are shaking but her whole body as well.

"Babes-- stop... Don't force it okay? Relax.. I'm here now. You will never be alone again, at never kaming nagkabalikan ni Mikee." Aga said while caressing her arms, trying to calm her down.

"Here, drink this." He offered a bottled water to her which she gladly took.

"Let me tell you everything babes, kaya ko." Lea said stubbornly when she regain her normal breathing.

Aga just nodded and let her continue.

"Th-that night-- I-I" hirap na hirap siyang ituloy ang sasabihin...

"That was the first time I, I tried to end my life. I wasn't myself that night Aga! I swear I didn't mean to!"

Lea is already panicking and Aga didn't know what to do so he just hugged her, hoping it will calm her down but Lea didn't budged she just kept on talking almost shouting.

"I took a blade and cut my pulse, it wasn't so deep. I just wanted to feel something to cover the pain in my heart but I swear I didn't mean to! As soon as I saw the blood I panicked.. I thought of our children, so I went to the emergency room to get myself treated but the same night I went to labor as well."

Lalo naman humigpit ang yakap ni Aga sa asawa, he was partly blaming himself because he gave-up and didn't follow her sa Japan.

Lea shouldn't be alone that time.

Wala siya when she needed him the most and it's breaking him into pieces.

"The doctors put me into a painless labor, they put me in sleep because I wouldn't calm down. My anxiety is making my blood pressure high and when I wake-up---- Ags, when I wake-up, they told me our daughter didn't make it! It's my fault! It's all my fault that our daughter died Ags! I killed her " Lea said as she panted.

Aga noticed that Lea was having a hard time breathing so he opened the windows of the car.

"Sshhh .. Lea-- Lea--" He called her attention while wiping her tears.

"I--- c-can't b-breathe." Lea's lips are trembling as her hands are sweating.

Aga wanted to panic but he calmed himself so he moved, and very slowly, he touched his lips into her.

He kissed her softly, not a sexual fluid kiss but just slightly touching kiss, he did it once, then twice, until he felt Lea relaxed a little.

When he felt her breathing back to normal, he looked at her straight in her eyes.

"Tell me her name." He asked sweetly.

"Ysa. Her name is Alyssa Carmen Muhlach." Lea replied with a small smile in her lips.

"Ysa." Aga repeated and the name does sound so gentle coming from him.

They stayed silent for awhile, it's as if both of them agreed to give a moment of silence in the memory of their angel in heaven as they both utter a prayer for her.

"It's not just your fault babes, it was mine too. I'm supposed to be there for our family, pero duwag ako babes." It's now Aga's turn to cry.

"Napabayaan ko kayo. I feel so useless." Lea held his hand but didn't say anything. She just let her husband grieve for their loss.

"I want us to make a promise Lea." He said in all seriousness that he can gather.

"I want us to promise each other, that no matter what happened we will always have faith in our love for each other, na kahit ano pang mangyari o problemang dadating, maniwala kang mahal kita at ang lahat-lahat ng ginagawa ko, at gagawin ko ay para sa pamilya natin, okay babes?" Aga said meaningfully and though Lea felt confused she nodded her head.

She agreed to him afterall..

"I promise. The whole world can crumble and fall but never my love for you Aga, I also wanted you to trust that." She replied in equal sincerity.

Aga then kissed Lea full on the mouth.

"Did I even tell you how much I missed you Lea?" He asked after their lips parted.

"No. Why don't you show me instead?" She sweetly asked as she reached for his lips again using hers.

"You're in for a long night then babes!" He responded after they kiss and started the car again.

Lea, for years never felt lighter than what she felt right now.

It feels good to finally let everything out.

She knew there's still a lot of problem they needed to face but she will let tomorrow take care of that, because tonight, they still have a family to complete.