Forever Alone // Carl Grimes (The Walking Dead)

Chapter 34

"Lauren! Someone's here to see you!" Carol yelled through the quiet house.

What now? Won't Carl just give up already? I sighed and rolled off the bed where I had stayed most of the day, the evening light shone through the curtains when I finally left the bedroom.

"If it's Carl tell him to shove it." I said quickly, running a hand through my hair and walking into the sitting room where Carol probably was.

It wasn't Carl. It was a different boy, he was tall, around my age, maybe a year or so older. He had a sweet smile and messy brown hair, with high protruding cheekbones. His chocolate brown eyes studied me curiously. He wore grey tracksuit bottoms and a black t-shirt.

"So.. Some random people come to visit me now?" I raised an eyebrow and stared at the boy questionably. He snapped out of his trance and clapped his hands together.

"I'm Jo.. The one who carried you here.. I was thinking you might want a tour?" Jo sounded nervous which I found funny. I don't think I look as intimidating as I used to.

Jo carried no weapons at all, which I found weird, and quite stupid. This place wont stay safe forever.
"Sure." I smiled.

I grabbed my machete from the table and slipped it into my belt. Jo watched my curiously, like it was strange to carry a weapon. I'd never let my guard down far enough to not have my weapon at all times. I waved goodbye to Carol and stepped into the fresh air after Jo.

"So you saved me from outside, I guess. Thanks." I mumbeled and Jo smiled, showing the dimples that were hidden on his cheeks.

"It was nothing," He chuckled.
"I heard a scream and then I saw you fall to the ground, I don't know how I didn't see you coming, though."

I laughed.
"Don't get down about it. I'm quite the sneaky fighter zombie-assassin," I frowned.
"Maybe when I get my strength back."

Jo smiled and gestured to the buildings around.
"We have about fifty people in Mortis, there is a small clinic where the injured are treated. A farm, and a meeting room."

"How long have you been here?" I asked Jo.

"A year," He frowned.
"I just stumbled upon this place after my family died."

I continued to walk down the road alongside Jo.
"Sorry.. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Nah, it's fine. I heard about your friend. I figure you're pretty sick of talking about what you've been through." Jo said, looking over to me.

I smiled gratefully.
"Yeah, thanks."

Jo walked me over to a small bungalo and jogged inside, soon emerging with two mugs of some steaming drink.
"I asked Maryse to make me these, just incase you wanted something to drink."

I smiled and bit my lip. He was trying so hard to make me like him, but I wasn't exactly giving him much leverage.
"Thanks Jo."

Jo gave me a white mug of what smelled like hot chocolate. I chuckled and sipped at the sweet-smelling brown liquid.

"You look better," Jo mumbeled.
"I mean, better than you did yesterday?"

I giggled and sipped my drink.
"Thanks, It does feel nice to be clean and have some new clothes."

Jo led me over to a small bench on the side of the path, in a small patch of grass with a few lonely flowers sprouting here and there. I sat down and looked out to the horizon as it dipped in shades of orange and purple. Never did I think I'd be here, but I am. I found who I was looking for, be careful what you wish for, because it just might come true. I scanned the town to see Carl staring back at me from a couple of houses down. He bounced Judith on his hip and Daryl wasn't lying, he did look broken, and the sight of Jo and I made it worse. But it's not my problem.

I set the hot chocolate down on the grass and let my head fall into my hands. I inhaled and exhaled deeply. This was just too much for me.

"Are you okay?" Jo did look genuinely worried.

"Yeah, I'm okay.. It's just too much for me." I mumbelled and left Jo on the bench. I ran anywhere, just ran. I found myself at the edge of the town, behind all the houses. I slumped down against the metal fences and breathed deeply. I have to stop caring what he sees and dosen't see. I can't feel bad for him, because he didn't care about me when he broke me.

It was completely dark when I finally rose from my spot on the ground. I walked behind all the houses, glacing in the windows. I could see Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, the people I haden't got to visit yet. I passed Rick's house but stopped when I heard what was like an argument.

"Alyssa, will you just leave me alone?" Carl argued. I could mentally see him rubbing his temples like he usually does when he gets frustrated.

"No Carl! We were getting on really well until that girl came along and ruined everything!" Alyssa protested, her voice high-pitched and irritated.

"I just wanted someone to talk to! I'm not going to say I didn't like you at all, but I love Lauren. I don't want you like that, okay?" Carl sighed loudly.

Don't let it change anything. Make him pay for breaking our promise. This dosen't change anything. I should have left it like that, but I couldn't help eavesdropping. I could hear Carl's footsteps diminish and a door slammed before I couldn't hear him at all.

An irritated groan echoed through the silent night and a loud thump like something was thrown in a fit of anger.
"Stupid bitch will get what's coming to her."

My expression changed to a 'O' and I tried to fight off the snigger that begged to leave my mouth. I don't love him. I don't love him. I can't love him. I was finally letting him go. I could be free of him. I sighed and walked away finding my way to Carol's house. I pushed open the door and was immediately greeted by a worried looking Carol.

"Lauren!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah?" I mumbeled.

"I thought you did something stupid like left! I'm not going to be your mother but be careful okay? I was just worried you'd ran off." She sighed.

I smiled.
"It's alright, Carol."

I accepted the food she had laid out for me and walked into my bedroom, staring into the darkness that lay outside the window.

"Letting go means to come to the realisation that some people are part of your history, but not part of your destiny."
-Steve Maraboli