• our fading futures • akitoya • REWRITE BEGINNING SOON

• relapse •

'TWS: sickness, death, suicidal thoughts' (muahaha i get to start writing more angsty stuff)

{pov: tsukasa}

I stare blankly at my fellow stage members. "Tsukasa-kun..." Emu mumbles. "We need to get him to wherever Saki is as soon as possible." Rui says, his eyes narrowing with concentration. "I'll call Toya, since his family's close friends with them." Nene said, picking up her phone.
"She's in the local hospital." I mumble. I can't move. I'm petrified.
"We need to go there, then!" Nene said, raising her phone to her ear. "And we need to get there quick! Come on, Tsukasa!" Rui added on. "Yeah!" I said, sprinting in the direction of the hospital, making sure the others were behind me, which they were. My heart pounded louder and louder, and all I could think about was Saki. She'd survived so much... 'Please, don't make her last day soon.' I prayed in my head. 'She still has so much life to live..'
We got to the hospital, and I dashed to the counter. "I'm- Tsukasa Tenma... Here to see Saki Tenma..." I said between inhales. "Great. Saki said she wanted you. She's in floor 1, room 39." The reception lady said, with a sympathetic look. "Unfortunately, she's not looking the best... She might..." My eyes widen. I feel drained. "I'm still going to see her. She's my number one fan!" I say, trying not to break down in sobs. I look behind me. Emu, Rui and Nene who just ran through the door, were standing behind me. "You didn't have to come all this way..." I mumbled. "We wanted to support you, Tsukasa-kun!" Emu said, starting to sob. "And Saki too... Tell her I say hi... I know you want private time with her..." My eyes soften. Emu was always so caring and such a good friend to both of us. Seeing her cry... It meant the situation was dire. "It's okay, Emu." Nene said, hugging her from behind and wiping away her tears with a handkerchief.
"Good luck, Tsukasa. If there's anything you need after this, please tell me. Remember, you're not alone." Rui mumbled. "Saki'll live, anyway. She's a strong girl." He said with a smile. I faintly smile back. "Yeah... She's been through a few times like these and lived, but not this... Urgent." We stood there for a few seconds.
"I should go see her. Thank you so much, guys." I said, waving goodbye with a solemn look on my face. They looked sad as I slowly walked away, and over to the elevator. I pressed the button labled '1' which reminded me of a song Saki and her band friends made. They were most likely already there. I was glad she made such great friends in her lifetime. I stepped into the elevator, with a few other people, all unknown faces. Probably visiting relatives. I was technically visiting a relative too, but my situation was more important than theirs.
As I stepped out of the elevator, with nobody else followed me, it hit me that today could be her last day potentially. I paused for a few steps, and then started to run as fast as I could. "Saki! I'm coming!" I screamed, hoping she could hear me and know she shouldn't be afraid anymore.
I found Room 39 with relative ease. It was a room like all the others, except there were people in it. I sighed and opened the door. Inside, as I had guessed, were her bandmates and my parents. And... "Saki..." I said.
Her hair looked normal, but her skin looked ghost white. She looked like she was on the brink of life... I started to believe it was her last day by the way she looked. "Tsukasa..." She said croakily, raising a hand upward, but then dropping it weakly. "Saki!" I said, running over to her. "Don't worry, Kasa. I'll get over it. Won't I?" She looked at her raven-haired friend, Ichika, who nodded.
She looked like she was trying her hardest not to cry. It seemed Honami already had been, but Saki had probably told her not to. Shiho stood there blankly and numbly. "Yeah... I'll be fine soon..." She stopped to cough, and when she coughed something red and sticky came out of her throat.
I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth or to deem it as true myself. "Honami? Are you okay now?" She asked, weakly. "Yes, I'm fine, Saki. You've been in the hospital more times than this, so you should be perfectly fine." Honami smiled. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself of this. Like I wasn't to judge.
"Tsukasa?" Saki said, my heart practically skipping a beat with worry. "Yes, Saki?" I say with a smile. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to die. She's suffering so much and I'm just standing there.
"Promise... Promise we'll go out for ice cream after this?" I clasp her hand. "Of course! And you can invite anyone you like! That's a great idea." I say with a smile. I hope I'm doing a good job. I'm basically pretending I'm Toya... He'd know exactly what to say in these situations. Like... Like back then. Even though he said I saved him, he saved me too. Why am I thinking of him? He isn't even here. I decided to stop thinking and focus on Saki.
"Yeah. I want cookies and cream." She said in a mumble. "You can have double scoops if you want. I'll pay." I suggest. "Then can I have toppings?" She asked. "Sure! Which ones?" I ask. Her eyes droop, but she still flashes me a confident smile. "Chocolate syrup. Tsukasa, can I tell you something?" She mumbles, pulling my hands close to her chest. "Go ahead. Anything for my number two fan!" I said proudly.
"Feel my heartbeat?" She said, cupping my hands to her neck. I nod. "Tsukasa... I know I'm going to die soon." She says in a tired murmur. "I've fought so hard. But it's my time, I guess." She releases my hands, and I flinch back. "Saki... You know?" I say, surprised.
"Course I do. I don't know if I've been waiting or fearing this. But... It's coming now, I guess." I practically almost break down. She's saying it herself. She's leaving this earth for a realm more deserving of an angel like her. "But... I'm glad I'm not dying alone. I guess I have to thank everyone." She laughs. That might be the last time I hear it. "Mum, Dad. Thanks for taking time out of your day to take me to appointments." Our parents almost burst into tears, but both manage a smile. "Shiho, thanks for being a great bassist. Even if you were a bit of a grump at times, you're still a big softie." She said with a smile. Shiho nods, tears welling up in the usually neutral girl's eyes.
"Honami, you're the kindest person I know. I hope you find someone in your life that treats you the way you deserves to be treated." Honami smiles shakily, tears already running down her cheeks.
"Ichi... You were the best friend I could ever have. Thank you for always being there for me. You helped me out when I was sad, and were always there for me no matter what. Thanks... Thanks so much." Ichika looks at me, trying her hardest not to sob as well. She looked somewhat sympathetically at me. Her gaze turns to Saki, and smiles. "You're the best keyboardist ever, Saki. You're the reason there is a Leo/Need. Thank you... Thank you a hundred thousand times." She murmurs, walking over to the bed and stroking her pigtail.
Saki almost starts crying herself. "You were the best bandmates I could ask for... And Tsukasa." Saki looked over from Ichika and to me. "Thank you. You were the best brother I could ask for, ever. You cheered me up when I was sick and always helped me when I didn't think there was a light at the end of the tunnel. So... Thank you."
I stay frozen. I don't know what to say or do. But, she opens her arms weakly. "Hug?" She requests, and I obey. I grip her tightly, feeling her weakening arms wrap around me. "You were the best sister I could ask for as well, Saki. I love you." I say, feeling tears well up in my eyes. Turns out I wasn't good at holding them in, anyway.
A doctor comes in the room just as I release her from the hug. "Tenmas, friends, I'll do my best to help Saki here. Thank you for entrusting her to me." He nods, walking over to the sick girl. "I'll take care of you, okay, Saki? I'll try my best to help you." Saki nods. "If it's okay, can you guys go into the waiting room?" The doctor requests. I nod, and walk halfway to the waiting room, when Saki says something. "Tsukasa? I'm scared..." She murmurs, and it feels like I'm back in the hospital for the first time Saki had to have her treatment. She was only a little kid then. She didn't deserve any of this. If I could take all of her suffering and give it to me, I would gladly. Saki's the reason I'm alive right now.
"It's okay. Remember, we're getting that icecream after this?" I smile wonkily at her. "Yeah! I'll see you soon." Saki smiles. "See you too, my number one fan." I say back, watching the others walk out, and walking out the frosted glass door myself.
Once I get out, I feel a stab of guilt. I want to cry, scream, shoot myself in the head. If I could, would I have chosen different words? Tears start falling onto my cheeks. The other Leo/Need members have gathered in a group hug. They looked really sad. No, they were really sad. Even Shiho's eyes were bloodshot from starting to cry. Honami and Ichika were both crying loudly.
My parents were huddled together, and I realised that I was the only one alone. Without anyone to cuddle with, or any shoulders to cry on. I curled myself into a ball on the black chair and sobbed heavily. Without Saki, I was nothing. Saki was the reason I became a star! A star to rival Saki's sun.
If there was no Saki, I wouldn't be performing at all... The Wonder Stage would be gone, reduced to rubble... Where were the people I called my teammates? Shouldn't they be consoling me? They hate me... I'm pathetic. Saki's gone and I did nothing.
I jerk back at the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at the owner, into his gray eyes. "Tsukasa-senpai? Are you okay?" Toya said, concerned."T-Toya... Saki, she's..." I broke down in sobs. "This can't be happening... She's been through so much..." He said, his usual neutral face turning to a sympathetic one, and tears welling up in his pretty eyes. Pretty, huh...
"Do you need a hug?" He suggested. "That would... That would be great." I said, trembling as I stood up. His hug was very gentle, like an embrace from a feather. I felt my face slightly warm. He was a gentle soul. He didn't deserve to be friends with me. "Saki was a great friend. She was practically my- my sister." He mumbled. I felt his tears on my back. Maybe he felt mine on his.
"How are you feeling?" Toya asked, with a slight tilt of his head, releasing me from the hug. "I miss her so much, Toya... And she's not dead yet..." He nods. "I understand what you mean. It's kind of like homesickness."
A doctor walked into the waiting room. "Is this the Tenma family?" She asked. "Yes." My mother mumbled. She looked hollow. "I regret to inform you, but your daughter..."
"Saki Tenma has passed away."

‹ Word count: 2006 ›
(Authors note: Please tell me what ships I should add! Thanks for enjoying my book!)