• our fading futures • akitoya • REWRITE BEGINNING SOON

• breath •

'Pov: Akito'

I kept thinking about things I shouldn't think about. My dad, if he could see what I'm thinking about, wouldn't hesitate to throw me out of the house. But, thank all the gods and divine presences I didn't believe in, he couldn't see my thoughts or read my mind.
It had been about 5 minutes since Toya had gently placed his arms around me and I'd cried into his shoulder, but I still missed the warmth and comfort his presence brought, and the butterflies in my heart I didn't mind now.
"Akito?" A voice interrupted my train of thought. "Are you feeling okay?" I looked at Toya, into his patient eyes that were like a sky before a storm. "Uh. Yeah. Sorry, I was zoning out." He nodded. "Are you hungry at all? I can get you a snack." He requested, and I realized that my stomach was gnawing at my chest. Maybe I should... No. I didn't need to eat. "No, thanks. I'll be fine." He nodded.
"I'd gone looking through your medicine cabinet and googled your symptoms, and I couldn't find anything. I'm sorry." He winced. "You don't have to be sorry for anything, Toya." I smiled at him, trying to make him happy in one way or another. "Are you cold? I can get you a blanket." I shrugged. "I guess I'm okay. My temperature's been very up and down."
He looked at me, a slight smile on his lips. "Since you're sick, I'll try to heat you a dinner. And I won't get advice from Miku." He let out a small giggle. "I still don't trust myself, but I guess I can try cooking." I nodded, chuckling myself. "You don't have to. I think I'm well enough to cook." His eyes widened slightly, and then his expression turned sympathetic. "Look at you, soldiering on. That's the Akito I know." He went to look though the pantry, and I went over to help him.
"The microwave stuff is over in that corner." I pointed out to him. He grabbed out a tin of soup. "This should do for you. Am I allowed to help myself?" He asked. "Hey, aren't I allowed to choose my own dinner?" I joked. He turned around to look at me, still bending down a little bit to fit in the pantry. "Oh, sorry. You can if you want!" I nodded. He wanted me to eat... I sighed. Just this once.
I made my way to the couch again, wanting to sit myself and drown in meaningless conversations. "So, Toya. How have you been without me?" I blurted out. It sounded mean, which wasn't a side of myself I wanted to show to him. "If I'm going to be honest, I was so busy I forgot about you. But, when Tsukasa got a bit better, I started thinking about you a bit." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah." I said. He was thinking about me? I liked to imagine the thought of me running rampant in his brain. Maybe he was grateful to get away. I sighed. There wasn't much to say anymore, so I let my body relax, but not too much. I wanted to keep talking to him. He plopped down on the couch next to me. "An and Kohane were really worried about you." He said in a slight mumble, his voice quieter since I was in close proximity. It was one of the little quirks about him I liked... No, loved. I think I loved him. "They were? That's nice. Well, I'm safe now. No need to worry." I smiled softly. They were my music partners after all. I wondered how they were doing.
I checked the time. It was almost 5. I sighed. "It's 5 already." Toya nodded, intently looking at me. "Time flies when you're consulting someone's mental health." I laughed, and out of reflex, jokingly grabbed a pillow from the couch, and softly smacked it into his chest. He looked surprised for a second, but shrugged it off. "Hehe. Your pillows are pretty soft." He nodded. Suddenly his face solemned and went a bit red. "Uhm. I was wondering if tonight, you wanted to watch the sunset go down with me?" I looked at him, perplexed for a second, but then smiled. "Sure." He was so sweet. "Great! Thanks." He smiled. "What are you thanking me for? I want to share this experience with you." He nodded, a slight smile forming on his lips. "You can sleep over too, if you want." I said, feeling my cheeks grow hot in return. "Oh, that would be great!" He shook his head gently. "I'll go home and get my stuff, then." I nodded. "I'll see you back here." He took one last look at me and stood up, heading for the door.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 30 Minutes Later ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
I didn't realise exactly how hollow my world was without Toya by my side. When I heard a knock at the door, after anticipating his return, I practically jumped to my feet, and then my body realised I didn't have the energy and practically fell flat, stumbling over the carpet. I made my way weakly to the door as I felt every step take a toll on my energy. But, I hid that as best I could when I opened the door.
Toya had a medium sized bag that he'd probably packed all the stuff he'd need for tonight in, unless it was anything else. "Sorry. I just needed to tell my dad I was sleeping over." I tilted my head. "He was fine with that?" He sighed. "He said it would be better with a day without me under his roof. But, it doesn't matter. We should focus on cooking dinner." I nodded gently, feeling my stomach practically begging for food. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my face. "Geez. You really are pale, huh?" He sighed. "And burning up, too." He murmured, for some reason oblivious to the red of my face that I assumed was there. He lowered his hand. "Alright. You go rest, and I'll try my best to cook. Okay?" I shook my head. If there was anything I hated, it was being presumed as weak. "I'm helping." He sighed. "Akito. You're sick. You look like you haven't slept or eaten for the last 2 days. You should at least relax for 5 minutes." I sighed. He always gets his way. "Fine." I murmured, going back to the couch.
"Aren't you scared of getting sick, Toya?" I asked him, though I knew I wasn't really sick. I was just curious to why he was sticking around. "I'd rather take care of you and get sick than leave you alone to care for yourself. I'll always be there for you, remember that?" He said, making his way into the kitchen. "...Yeah." I murmured numbly, not knowing what to say. He was so nice. What did I do to have someone like that in my life?
The stove was heating up, and Toya was concentrating more and talking to me less, but I still appreciated the comfortable silence between us. I was kind of glad I wasn't cooking, but I also didn't want Toya to be my personal cook. I felt like offering, but he'd convince me to sit down, and I couldn't say 'Oh, I'm not sick anymore. I just have severe suicidal urges.' Which would be funny, kinda. Kinda like a cruel joke.
"Are you up for a movie night after this? I know you're sick." Toya asked, stirring the soup gently as I watched from my view on the couch. "Sure. I'd be happy to. Besides, we haven't done something like this before and I'd be happy to spend it with you." He nodded and smiled. "That sounds great. The last movie night I had with someone was... I actually haven't had that many. My father didn't like me staying in people's houses, apart from Tsukasa." He nodded. "But, I'd already explained that to you." His voice was so clear and comforting that it soothed me just listening to it.
I nodded. "Maybe we watch a horror movie?" I suggested, expecting to get some scared reaction out of him, but he just smiled. "That sounds fun. Any movie you like is great." I couldn't help but smile and think how nobody else in the world treated me how he did. "Well, after watching the sunset. I'm excited. It should be ready to go down after dinner. I looked it up." Usually I wouldn't be anticipating something like this, but it felt kind of special for some reason.
"Perfect. Dinner's almost ready, by the way." I nodded, getting up, but then stumbling slightly due to how tired I was. "Akito, are you okay?" Toya said, pure concern in his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled. "Maybe we should get you some sleep..." I shook my head. "You're at my house for a reason. To spend time with me. Okay?" He nodded, going back to pouring the soup into a white bowl.
"And here's your dinner. I thought the can was big enough for us to share." I nodded, looking down at the soup. It looked slightly burnt, but only slightly. Toya was getting better at cooking. I smiled, looking at him and then digging in. I finished my bowl before him. "I'm glad An isn't here." He swallowed and tilted his head sideways. "Why?" He asked. "Because she hates tomatoes, and that's what this is made of, right?" Toya thought for a second, but then nodded. "Oh yeah, she does!" He said, letting out a small amused chuckle.
I nodded. To be honest, I was just taking my time to enjoy the moment, although it was simple. I'd like something like this as my last day on Earth. Something like this, casual comfort. "Hey, the sunset's starting!" I said, taking a peek out the window. "Oh? Already? Well, I'm finishing now, so there should be plenty of time to watch it." Toya nodded. I decided to get some pillows out for us to sit on as we watched, dumping them on the deck.
"Alright, I'm finished. Are you ready?" Toya smiled softly at me, and I smiled softly back. This moment felt kinda surreal. I wondered if it was a dream. Maybe I was dreaming of being away from the absolute hell that was my life. I nodded. "Let's go." I said, softly. It was so odd how my actions, words, and anything else just relaxed when I was around him...
I opened the door to the deck, the start of the sunset glowing in the sky. "Hopefully it'll be a pretty one." I heard Toya mumble as we sat on one of the cushions I'd placed in prime view of the sky. "Yeah. Hopefully." My gaze wandered from the sky, turning orange, to Toya's eyes filled with wonder. "Why do you want to see the sunset today?" He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess I just wanted to enjoy it with you. Since this occasion is special, as well. Oh yeah, you're sick! It's getting chilly out, do you need my jacket?" I now felt aware of the goosebumps making their way up my skin. "It's okay. I'm warm enough." I said, trying to act tough. We sat in silence for a few minutes, staring up at the sky. But, I couldn't get the thought of Toya's face out of my mind. "Your hair matches the sunset." Toya said, startling me slightly. "It's pretty." That was a new one. I'd never heard anyone call me pretty, not even my hair.
And then I felt something press against my hand. Toya smiled at me innocently, unaware of the large blush creeping up my face seemingly. And we sat in silence. I felt so comfortable, and yet so alive, butterflies swarming my stomach. His hand was still on mine, and we sat there like that. Suddenly, I felt the need to say something. "Toya... I don't know if this comes off as weird at this moment... But..." I sighed, breathing in the crisp night air. "I think I love you." I said, letting my words hang awkwardly in the air. Toya opened his mouth to speak, and I wondered if he would say that he didn't like me back. "I think..." He said, taking a breath in.

"I think I love you too."

{Word count: 2080}

(Author's note: FINALLY I GET TO WRITE THIS I WAS SO SICK OF THE BUILDUP)