A lost star

First Day

Y/n's Pov:

It was my first day of my 6th year at Hogwarts as a Hufflepuff and I was finally excited to be back at school as a escape. I couldn't help but have my normal fears but definitely not as much now that I am away from my parents. I just finished getting dressed and placed my small kit in my bag and begin heading to class. The day almost went smoothly tell I walked into my last class of the day which I thought would be my favorite, Potions, but I saw a familiar Slytherin boy sitting in the front causing me to stop dead in my tracks. Fuck fuck fuck, I thought he graduated already!? I thought as I quietly sat in the back to hide from him. Snape walked in but I couldn't focus even on my notes, I slid my hand in my bag and grabbed my razor and snuck it under my sleeve without anyone noticing. I drew a couple lines feeling my sleeve fill up with warmth making me instantly feel better. I put my razor back in my bag and begin taking notes. "L/N!" I heard making me snap up from my trance, fuck everybody was looking at me including him! Snape was waiting for me to answer his question but I was so out of it, "yes..sir?" I asked quietly as he shakes his head, "I ASKED what's the answer to number 6!?" He said in a deep voice making me shiver, I looked down at my notes seeing just scribbles of the words help, run, hide, and cut making me slam my book shut in fear someone would see it. Snape gave me a eyebrow making me give a awkward smile "Detention L/n." He said turning around making  me drop my fake smile, grate now he knows I'm in here and on top of that I have detention.. Before I knew it class was over and I begin packing up my bags, when a familiar figure approached me. "I didn't know we had a class together Y/n! How exciting is that!" He said smirking but I didn't give him my attention, "just leave me alone please" I said quietly, I felt him lean closer making me feel gross, "what!? I'm only trying to have fun!" He said laughing but I turned away "We should pick up where we left off..." he said, making me feel worse, "just please leave me alone.." I said now feeling tears build up, he leaned down in my ear making my skin crawl "wouldn't matter anyways, nobody would even want to touch someone like you." He said then walked away making me sit there holding myself in fear. That's when another shadow approached me making me flinch scared of what they might do, "L/n, I've been trying to get your attention" I heard making me look up to see a confused Snape, fuck, I brushed my hair back, "S-sorry sir!" I said quietly as I used the table to stand up to face him, "are you alright L/n? Do you need to go to the nurses?" He asked as I grabbed my arm in defense "no! I mean..no I'm fine!" I said as I gave him a small smile but he raised his eyebrow at me making me feel weird, "fine, I have some new books that need to be put away." He said walking towards the shelf as I followed closely behind him, he pointed me the boxes he needed put away and I got to work. As I begin to place the books on the shelf I felt a wave on dizziness hit me making me grab the counter for support. I took a deep breath in and continued putting books away trying to ignore the blurry vision. I finally finished putting away all the books and begin to grab my things, "L/n may I speak with you for a moment?" Snape said so I nodded and walked over to his desk, he looked at me for a moment then spoke, "May I ask why you where so distracted in my class today?" He said making my grab my arm scared, "uh..just zoned out on accident. It won't happen again sir!" I said trying to walk away but he quickly grabbed my arm before I could get away in time. A sharp pain shot up in my arm from where he grabbed onto making me flinch as I felt tears building up but I quickly blinked them away. He looked at me weird then spoke, "L/n.." he begin to speak and I looked at him trying to figure out what he was going to say, I could tell he wanted to say something else but he didn't, "just start paying more attention." He said letting go of my arm making me feel relieved now, I released all the built up air in my lungs and nodded at him and quickly walked away. I quickly ran to my room locking the door, thankfully I didn't share a room with anyone so I quickly removed my top layer of my uniform. I looked at the deep cuts on my arm I made and where Snape grabbed onto. I took a deep breath in and walked over to my side dresser grabbing my first aid and begin wrapping my arm. I plopped onto my bed exhausted and took a deep breath in and out as I felt tears build up again. Fuck..what was I going to do!? I can't just go to Dumbledore and beg him to take me out of potions without explaining why..plus I love Snapes class but if he's there I won't even be able to focus! The tears begin to pour out as I let small sobs out, fuck fuck fuck what the hell was I going to do!? I can't keep doing this, I feel like everywhere I go he's there. I tried to think of all the possible solutions to get out of that class or stay away from him without telling anyone. I couldn't think of anything, FUCK. I thought as I rolled over on my side sobbing even harder now. I didn't have the energy to get up and drag myself to the dinning hall knowing that Slytherin boy was there...I continued to sob into my pillow as I let darkness take over soon falling asleep dreading tomorrow.