Behind the Scenes

6

Beck's POV

I met up with Nam, whom I also know ever since SCOY.

"So, what is this emergency you were talking about?" she asked.

"I don't know how to say it. If I say it out loud, it becomes more real"

"I'm assuming this has something to do with Freen? Since you'd obviously won't come to me first if it wasn't".

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked.

"Becky, you two are like glued together. Whatever it is, it must be serious since you can't tell her. Take your time, I'm here for you guys".

This is why I came to Nam first. She's an open book and I know whatever I tell her will be kept between us.

I sighed, finally deciding to just say it.

"I think I'm in love with Freen." I said.

"No, it's not 'I think'. I really am in love with her. And it's been awhile now since I realized. I mean, how could I not? She's perfect. She makes me feel loved and safe. I know it's something common between friends but I'm sure that's not the case. I know what I feel. And it hurts. It hurts so much that whenever I'm with her, I get possessive, I sulk. And I'm not supposed to feel this because I know she doesn't love me like that. But I can't help it. I don't know what to do anymore." I said, not noticing that I've been crying this whole time.

Nam sat beside me and tried to comfort me the best she can.

"Oh Becky, I knew something like this would happen. It's okay. Don't think that what you feel is wrong. We can't choose the people we fall in love with. It's just natural." she said while trying to console me.

"What if it becomes awkward? And after this series we'll just become strangers? I just can't live with that thought. I love her, more than anyone. More than anything" I said, sobbing.

"First of all, we should stop with all these assumptions. All these what ifs are eating you alive. If you really want my opinion, I think you should be honest."

I look at her, trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Becky, if there's one thing I'm sure of it's that Freen loves you. You're her person and vice versa. Although we don't know what type of love that is, it doesn't matter. She'll always be with you, try to understand you and face whatever problem you guys have. I'm not gonna lie, it will take some time to sink in, you're dynamics will definitely change, but the feelings you have for each other is stronger. I'm sure of that" she added.

I thought about it and although I'm afraid, she's right.

"It hurts" I said.

She looked at me worried and then smiled softly.

"You know, I've always been rooting for you two to be together. I don't know, it just makes sense"

"I just wish nothing will change if ever I confess to her" I said, knowing full well that everything will definitely change. I just don't know if it's for better or for worse.