All Things Considered, This Was Unexpected

Tony Stark, Ever the Hospitable

Stark turned around, putting the gauntlet of Mark VII on for protection. And as he saw the body on the floor, he paled.

"Shit." Loki wheezed. He landed on the floor of one of Thor's shield brothers. Man of Iron, Thor called him? "Man of Iron, I command you not to expose my presence. I require service."

If he didn't scare Tony shitless, he'd laugh at this lunatic's request of "service," but he did scare Tony shitless, so Stark continued to stare wide-eyed and jaw-dropped at the God of Mischief bleeding on his floor.

Loki rolled his eyes as best as he could. It was somewhat hard to do when the slash in your abdomen threatened to spill your guts out at any moment. He struggled, but eventually, he sat up and slid backward until his back hit the front of a sofa. He placed a hand over the gash in his stomach and rested all his weight against the couch.

Two beeps from the ceiling signified Jarvis would call the authorities in 30 seconds if Tony didn't confirm otherwise.

After assessing the situation-gash: lower abdomen, injured, helpless, pale, sick? Many thoughts flew through his head. Trying to observe Loki's condition over the rise in his heart rate and the noise of his breathing. Finally, Tony spoke under his breath, "Jarvis," he stared at Loki. "Alarm off."

"Yes, sir." His A.I. finally spoke and visibly startled Loki.

"You have spirits within your home?" He asked, terrified, which caused Tony to laugh a bit too manically for Loki's comfort with the question. The noise was out of place. Tony wondered if this was the moment he lost his mind.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked sternly. Why was that the first question to fall out of Tony's mouth?

Loki seemed concerned as well. Well, maybe not concerned. The look was more of pure judgment. Yeah, that was it. He wondered if Tony had lost his mind too.

"Tony Stark, ever the hospitable." The god drawled in an amount of sarcasm Tony hadn't ever heard before. Then, he wondered how Loki knew his name.

"I do recall I offered you a drink," Tony said, recollecting unpleasant memories of being thrown out a window shortly after.

"You then continued to spew idiotically about your supposed threat. "

"Well, were you really threatened? I mean, you being a god and all. You couldn't possibly be intimidated by a weak, little ol' mortal like me could you?" Tony rambled on. Call it a nervous habit.

Loki was getting bored of this. "No," he grunted, not bored. Irritated.

"Then I don't see the actual problem her-"

"Silence!" Loki cut him off. "I am bleeding out! You're making me second guess my decision to even try and save myself."

It was quiet for all 3 seconds. "Why the hell are you even here?" Stark questioned, glared, and huffed.

"Believe me. I did not mean to appear here. I was in the middle of avoiding death on the brink of death, and in times like that, my magic can be a little unpredictable."

So many fucking questions unanswered.

"So many fucking questions unanswered." Stark voiced aloud.

"Trust, I will explain to you later, but for now," the god's head drooped forward and his words slurred. Shit. Tony did not need this man passing out.

"Okay," Tony said, "what do you need help with?" And he genuinely cannot believe those words came out of his mouth. It was too late to take it back now.

"I just need," Loki's eyes shut, "I need..." and he lost his strength the keep himself balanced against the couch-

-Thud

"Fuck." Tony just couldn't get a break.

After spending 40 minutes trying to get Loki off the floor and onto the leather couch. Yes, 40 minutes (After spending 20 minutes trying to do it himself, Jarvis scanned, then helpfully told Tony that he couldn't lift the God of mischief because he was, in fact, 525 pounds). Once he succeeded (using an ironman suit), he cut the cloth of Loki's outfit along with the leather. He removed jewelry and metal armor to get a good look at the damage, and holy hell.

"Jarvis, how the hell is this man alive?"

"According to first-hand sources from Thor's scans and second-hand sources from Norse mythology, Æsir all have impeccably fast healing abilities compared to humans. Loki's body's capable of healing any superficial cut or abrasion in a matter of seconds, depending on the intensity of it."

And Tony knew that. After witnessing papercuts heal completely on Thor's skin in seconds. After seeing bruises from battles within minutes. But this wasn't a bruise or a papercut, so maybe it was different? Tony felt sick looking at it all. It looked like someone took a butcher knife and deliberately drew a line across Loki's torso. Hell, that's most likely what did happen. The god did say he was in a life-or-death situation. All Stark knew was that the wound needed stitches, and he was not the one for the job.

"J, run another scan, an in-depth one. He hasn't healed the hour we've been here."