James Wilson

Dad

TW: SUICIDE
The next day
I was still at the Booths. They didn't mind me staying but I felt like a burden. I need to find somewhere else. I do help them out tho I sneakily give Missy money for food cause I know she wouldn't accept it if I give it to her straight up.
Missy: right you lot get ready for school. James I have a spare phone for you just put your SIM card in it
James: thank you so much
I gave her a hug. We got ready and walked to school. I saw Cory and Jordan so went to say hi
Cory: you alright?
James: mhm
Jordan: dad came home pissed last night
James: what a surprise
Jordan: nah it was different this time
James: different how?
Cory: he seemed upset. He wasnt drinking like the usual I'm only doing it to get bladdered
Jordan: it seemed more of a drinking to drown the emotions
Cory: he was even crying
James: oh
I walked off and went to form.
Mr Bell: alright?
James: mhm
I sat down and spent the whole lesson thinking of what to do. Should I forgive him? But he'll only hurt me again. Maybe we can convince him to get help. What if I go back and he batters me to the point I'm no longer breathing?
Mr Bell: James
James: hm
Mr Bell: go to your next lesson
James: oh
I walked out and went to my next lesson. English with Miss Keane
Miss Keane: your late
James: okay
Miss Keane: sit down
I sat down and was just zoned out
Miss Keane: you've done no work
James: No shit Sherlock
Miss Keane: isolation mow
James: fuck this
I flipped over a chair and slammed the door shut on my way out. I walked to isolation and sat near the window with my hood up head laid on my arms on the table.
Mr Bell: James?
James: why the fuck are you everywhere?
Mr Bell: I'm just that guy
James: never say that again
Mr Bell: why you here?
James: for being a model student what do you think?
Mr Bell: oh someone's a little cranky today
I gave him a 'carry on I dare you' look
Mr Bell: okay someone's not up to joke. What's up?
James: nothing
Mr Bell: James
James: dad was drinking yesterday but it was different. He was drinking cause he was upset and he was actually crying.
Mr Bell: don't feel bad some people just can't handle the truth
James: but i do feel bad
Mr Bell: You have nothing to feel sorry for this is all him.
James: am I in here all day?
Mr Bell: I'm afraid so
I started on some work but I was starting to get restless. I was tapping my pen against the window, rocking back on my chair and beatboxing.
Mr Bell: James
James: what it's just me in here I'm not distracting anyone?
Mr Bell just shook his head at me.
I got back on my work.
James: sir?
Mr Bell: yeah
James: do you watch basketball?
Mr Bell: yeah
James: okay what's your favourite team?
Mr Bell: er lakers
James: Really mines Bulls.
It went quiet for a minute.
James: who's better LaMelo or Lonzo?
Mr Bell: I'll say Lonzo
James: really I always though LaMelo because he seems more versatile and has a huge impact on the team. Lonzos decent but injuries have held him back massively
Mr Bell: right now do your work
I went back to my work but that didn't last long. I got up and started walking around.

Steve pov
James was getting really restless.
Steve: right James
James: hmm
Steve: you wanna play basketball or football?
James: basketball
Steve: come on then
James: PIG?
Steve: sure
James: imma win
James ended up winning and we went back to isolation where Mandy was waiting
Mandy: where have you two been?
James: playing basketball
Mandy: really
Steve: he was getting restless. He needed something to release his energy.
The bell went to signal the end of the day.
James: bye

James pov
I was leaving school when I got a message notification from dad with the preview saying:
To my boys,
I'm sorry.
I then got a message from Cory
Dad needs help now! Get Mrs Carter and mr bell
I ran towards her office
James : Mrs Carter
We ran into isolation
James: Mrs Carter
Mrs Carter: James?
Mr Bell: woah woah calm down
James: miss it's erm my dad
Mr Bell drove us to my house and we got out the car. Dad was on the roof
James: Dad!
Jordan: What is he doing?
James: Dad get down
Jordan: get down now
Mrs Carter: anyone called the police?
Cory: come on dad what you doing up there?
James: hes admiring the view. Why the fuck do you think he's up there?
Cory: James shut the fuck up. Dad please just get down
James: do you remember what you said when mum died?
Dad: I said I'd never leave yous
James: Dad please come down
Jordan: Dad you can't leave us
James: I didn't mean what I said before. I don't wish it was you. I was just angry
Dad: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I put the drink before you kids and I hurt you. No parent should ever lay a hand on their kids and I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore. You are better off without me.
Dad stood up on the roof.
Jordan: no no dad don't do it
James: I forgive you I know it was hard after mum died.
Cory: we're not better off without you. We need you.
Dad: I'm sorry. I love you boys
James: Dad no
Dad jumped and as soon as he hit the floor a puddle of blood flowed from his head. I knew straight away he was dead
James: what the fuck
Cory: I'm gonna be sick
I just ran and got on a bus. I don't know where to but anywhere was better then Ackley right now. Next thing I now I'm in Bradford. I read the rest of dads message.

To my boys,
I'm sorry.
I've been dealing with these thoughts ever since your mum died. I've just been waiting for the right time. It's no body's fault before yous go blaming each other. I've been tired for a long time. I gave up a long time ago but I hid it by drinking. As I'm writing this I'm thinking about life before mum died. The treehouse. Days out to the beach. BBQs. Watching you boys play your sports. Cory with football. Jordan with rugby. James with football, basketball, boxing. I will always be proud of you boys. I love yous so much. I know I haven't shown it and have been a really shit dad. I'm sorry. Understand that this is my choice, this is what I want. I'm not happy in this world and I repeatedly take it out on you especially James. I will forever be sorry. You boys are the best thing that ever happened to me. You didn't deserve a dad like me you deserve someone you could rely on and go to for help not someone who you became scared of and feared. I am sorry for not being the dad you once knew. After your mum died the man you once looked up to became the man you fear and that is what upsets me the most. I took all the pain I was feeling and deflected it onto you to make myself feel better. I put the drink before you kids and I hurt you. No parent should ever lay a hand on their kids and I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore. You are better off without me. You boys have every right to feel how you feel about me but just know I love you forever. My boys. My everything. I'm sorry.

I bought some weed and rolled up a joint. I was just walking around while smoking it until it had finished. After about 20 minutes of walking around I was so hungry so I went to McDonalds. I got 3 cheeseburgers, 20 nuggets, 2 mayo chickens, chips, 2 apple pies and a strawberry milkshake. After I got my food I rang aaron.