I Can't

Part 5

TW! Eating disorder, rape, alcohol

We didn't eat any proper dinner or anything - thankfully - because we ate a late lunch. Sapnap said there would be food at the party, which is good. I don't have to have a meal. Worst case scenario I have a few chips to fool them and that's it.

None of us wore anything fancy. I don't think we were supposed to anyway. I don't know, I don't usually go to these types of parties. I just went in jeans and a hoodie.

Once we got there it was about 10:20. There were already a lot of people drinking, dancing, making out, and whatever else you do at parties. Sapnap went to say hi to his friend and Dream went along with him. I said I would stay back and get a drink.

I didn't really want any alcohol though, so I just got water. I put it in one of those red cups so people wouldn't think I was lame. We hadn't actually established anything, but we all pretty much figured I was the designated driver. I stayed in a corner for a while, scrolling on my phone. I didn't know anyone and if I'm being honest, I was kinda scared to talk to anyone. Majority of the people here are drunk, I don't want anything to happen.

I look over to see Dream and Sapnap dancing. I laugh a bit at Sapnap's dancing but then my eyes shift to Dream. He's not dancing anything like Sapnap, who looks like he's being electrocuted. Where did Dream learn how to dance like that? I caught myself staring for a while. He's kinda...

Oh fuck. No, he's your friend, and he's a guy. You're not gay, not even close.

Although...

Nope.

But you've never liked a girl.

Never liked a guy either.

You've never looked at a girl like you're looking at Dream.

Shut up.

My brain argued with itself for a couple minutes. I opened Google on my phone and looked something up:

Am I gay quiz

I've seen people do these on TV shows and whatnot so I might as well. But I know I'm straight.

No you're not.

Shut up.

I argued with myself for a minute before clicking the link. I answered all the questions and clicked submit.

Result: You are 100% gay! You only have feelings for the same gender.

Told you.

Fuck off.

I put my phone in my pocket as a blue eyed girl approached me. Her hair was slicked back in a ponytail and she had a drink in her hand.

"Hey," she came closer. "What's a cute guy like you doing here all alone? Waiting for your girlfriend I assume?"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. I'm here with some friends."

"Really? No girlfriend. That's shocking because you're sooooo hot," she slurred, putting her hand on the wall near my head, cornering me in her presence.

"I uh- don't really like girls like that," I panicked and told her.

"You're gay?? That's a shame, the girls are missing out."

"Yeah um- if you'll excuse me I really should be going-" she grabbed my wrist as I tried to walk away.

"Where are you going, pretty boy?"

"I really need to find my friends," I tried to walk off but her grip tightened.

"Stay. I think I can turn you straight," she slurred, dragging me into an empty bedroom.