A Fight to Remember

Stay Here, Don't Move, Wait for Me.

Vancouver, June 17 2037 Meredith.

I woke to Cristina's bruised face staring at me. I sighed as she blinked and rubbed her eyes wearily. "You look like crap," she said.

"I look better than you..." I managed to say with a ghost of a smile. My person rolled her eyes at me. I felt tired, sore all over and very confused, like my brain went through a blender. Everything was so mixed up. What the hell happened to her face? What happened to me? I vaguely recalled being visited by a nurse... but- I didn't know- I couldn't remember the last thing that happened, where I'd been, what I'd done... I remembered driving... or being driven? And wind... and rain. I squeezed Cristina's hand. "What happened?" I asked.

"We hit a deer," she said slowly. "We're at Vancouver General Hospital."

"Oh." I swallowed thickly and clutched my hospital gown. Wait, Vancouver? What the hell were we doing in freaking Vancouver? "We're not in Seattle?" I asked.

"No, we went to North Cove." Cristina said simply. "You caught a fish."

That made no sense. Meredith Grey does not fish. Has never fished... but- wait... an image of a boat and a grizzled old man came to mind. "I caught a fish?" How drunk was I? And what the hell had I been drinking? Derek would- he would- But thoughts of Derek felt very far away. He felt so far away... and I didn't know why. Nothing felt right. My body didn't feel right. I couldn't connect the dots in my mind, and even as I tried, I couldn't make sense of the picture it was making. Since when did I fish? "I want to go home..." I said. Home. Home would make sense.

Cristina sighed. "You had a VATS surgery Mer, you'll be here overnight at least," she explained.

"VATS..." A video assisted thoracoscopic surgery. Although it was minimally invasive, it meant something seriously wrong happened. "I had thoracoscopic surgery?" Anything with the prefix thora was bad news.

"You had a cardiac tamponade. They performed a pericardial window operation." She explained.

Bad news. Bad, bad news. "Oh." I swallowed and stared up at the ceiling. A tamponade? I could've- I would've died. I wanted to cry but I didn't. Cristina and I didn't cry.

"Zola and Ellis are coming up," Cristina offered, leaning in closer to the bed. "They'll be here in a few hours."

"Okay..." I whispered, grateful but fearful for them at the same time. I didn't want them to see me like this. "Derek? He'll be here, right?" I asked. I needed him. He could take me home.

"Mer?" Cristina asked, looking at me with a strangely sad expression.

What was wrong? Why did she have that look? "Is he coming? Where is he?" I asked, worried. Oh God... did something happen to him? Was he in the crash too? Why did she look like that?

"He's... yeah, Mer, he'll be here soon too." Cristina said, stroking my arm to reassure me.

"Okay," I breathed. He was coming... he was going to come and take me home, from... where was I again? I sighed deeply. It didn't matter. Derek was coming... "Okay, good," I said.

"You should get some rest," she said gently.

I blinked slowly, I did feel quite tired and achey. But I didn't want to sleep just yet. I regarded my person. Really looked at her. She looked so old and worn, Since when did she have that much grey hair? Her beautiful expressive face was marred with a red airbag burn, and she had a six centimeter cut on the top of her hairline, held closed by black stitches."You look like crap," I said.

"Just... sleep, Mer." She leaned over on my bed and crossed her arms to make a pillow for her head.

I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and called upon the REM waves to take me away. But- Derek's concerned gaze flashed under my eyelids. I was in a crash... I hit a deer... I screwed up. "Cristina?"