I know who you are -Mac Coyle

Chats about the future

Erin suggested we go back to the place we arrived, you know to see if we can make any sense of this fucked up situation. I've kept my distance from the girls all morning. I just needed to be alone right now, to.....think about things. I sat on the floor my back against the couch, hugging my knees, this always seemed to be my comfort position. "Hey you hungry?" I look up over my shoulder, to see Mac standing with a pop tart in her hand, holding it down to me. I just shake my head and go back to staring ahead of me. "Suit yourself" Mac says taking a bite out of the pop tart herself. Even though I can feel my growling stomach I can't bring myself to eat.

Soon we're walking back through the field we were sprinting through just 24 hours earlier. Between the five of us we manage to navigate back to where KJ killed that dude with the gun. "This is it" Tif says. I look around expecting to see some sort of horrifying, rotting dead body but nothings there....it's like the whole thing never happened. "So where'd he go?" Erin asks the question everyone's thinking. "Maybe he just got up after-after we left, and he's fine" Kj suggests. Yet I'm finding that hard to believe since the guy was as dead as my goldfish Larry. Damn I miss that guy. "Who's okay?" Erin 2.0 asks. We all look at each other. Might as well pull the bandaid off. "The guy Kj clocked with her hockey stick" I say bluntly. "Julia!.....don't worry about it" Tiffany covers up as I raise my hands in the air in surrender. "But what I'm stuck on is where's all the blood?" Mac asks. "Yeah wouldn't it have like....stained the soil or some shit?" I add "someone must have cleaned it all up". Kj suddenly starts searching through the bushes frantically. "Shit.shit.shit.shit.shit...my hockey stick. Where is it? Do you see it? Where is it? Look for it, Tiff. Where is it? They know who I am!" Kj begins to panic. "All right, all right, all right. Calm down." Mac says placing her hands calmingly on Kj's shoulders.

As the other girls become fascinated by older Erin's rectangular flat camera tape thingy. I walk over to Kj. "Hey we could have gotten the spot wrong, or maybe some young kid found the stick and took it home with them, it's gonna be okay Kj, don't worry about things you can't control" Kj stops panicking and looks towards me with vulnerable eyes. "Thanks Julia" I'm surprised when Kj suddenly pulls we into a hug, I accept it warm-fully, I didn't know it but I guess I need a hug too.

So apparently that little micro sized computer one of the future guys gave Tif is the key to getting us home. Soon we're back in old Erin's tiny car making our way to the repair shop to get our ride home fixed. Me, Erin and Mac were told to wait out side so  we don't cause 'a scene'. The three of us stand with our backs against the window of the repair shop, anxiously waiting to see if the computer can be fixed. "It was rad seeing my house gone, only thing that would've made it even cooler is seeing that wrecking ball go right through it" I look over at Mac, who's standing in between me and Erin. "That seems...I don't know kind of...sad" Erin says. "No. Now I'm free" "I'm not. I need to get back to hell day. My mom needs me....and my sister." I'm almost ashamed to admit that there's a part of me that doesn't want to go back home...that is afraid to go back home. "All right whatever it's your funeral" There's a moment of silence between the two as I just stand there happily listening in on the conversation.

"You know what feels good though? What I didn't find. Some sorry assed older me. Alcoholic husband. Not doing shit. You know I knew I got the fuck out of Dodge. Future so bright, right?...the point is, I'm just letting that shit be" I look over at the girl smiling. I'm happy she's out there living her life and I'm happy she's happy about it, I want her to be happy. "Lucky you." Erin says half-heartedly. I'm sure Erin isn't thrilled about how her older self is living. "What about you Julia? What do you think your doing out there?" Erin suddenly turns the attention to me. The truth is, this is all I've thought about over the last 24 hours. The idea of running into future me scares the shit out of me. I'm terrified I turned out exactly like my parents wanted me to be, a graduate at law school, a loyal follower of Jesus, perfect house, perfect....husband. But I'm even more scared I turned out different.

"Hello! Earth to Julia?" I'm snapped out of my thoughts to see Erin's confused face, Mac's slightly more sincere, she knows stuff nobody else knows. "Ummm....I guess I will be just out of law school, that is what my parents always planned for me". "But is that what you want?" Mac asks quite abruptly, as I shoot a look at her. "Look you don't always have to do what mommy and daddy tell you to do, you have your own heart to follow...and to be honest it doesn't seem like they deserve a fucking opinion because of how they-" my expression turns stern. "Mac" I shake my head slightly, not wanting her to bring up any of my family business in front of anyone. "All I'm saying is you have so much more to offer then sitting at a fucking stand all day shouting 'order! Order! Order!'" Mac pretends she's using a gavel in court as she puts on a deep voice. "She's got a point you know, what would be your dream life to live?" Erin questioned. I thought for a sec. "Well when I was little I always wanted to set up my own animal rescue centre, I felt bad for all the animals out on the streets with no home. This one time when I was seven I brought a stray boarder collie, that I found in the park home, it was so skinny and dirty I just couldn't leave him there. My parents found him and threw him back out into the streets immediately, they said he would give me diseases and stuff. I cried for hours. Anyways, that's the dream...even it never comes true." Erin looks at me with that innocent smile of hers. "You really hid a dog in your room?" Erin laughs. "What! I thought he would blend in with my stuffed animals!" I argue light-heartedly back at her. "That's pretty dumb" she giggles. "Says the one with dumb literally written on her shirt" Mac says with a blank expression. Erin looks down at her shirt, as if seeing it properly for the first time and when she looks over at me we both burst into fits of laughter, it takes a second but soon Mac even chuckles along with us. It feels like I haven't laughed in years, it feels good.

When the rest of the gang come out of the store, we're no closer to figuring anything out about the mini computer. Apparently older Erin wasn't cutting it as our guide so we needed to go back to her house and look at something called 'the internet' to get help. "This is amazing" Tif is amazed as we crowd around what Older Erin said was a 'toplap' or maybe it was 'laptop'....whatever it was, it was amazing. You could find information about anyone and anything you wanted from just one small screen. As Mac and Tif fount over it, trying to press different keys at the same time. I walked off towards the stairs and sat down on the step. Out of habit I went to mess with the cross necklace that once hung around my neck. I drop my hand back down again when there's nothing there.

I overhear Tif saying something about her future self owning an institute in Cleveland, as Mac comes over with the computer and sits beside me on the stairs. I look over her shoulder at the computer. She types in the name 'Dylan coyle'. "Is that your dad or something?" I ask. "Brother" she corrects. "Damn that dipshit somehow became a doctor" I see a page pop up with Dylan's picture and the words 'stoney stream medical centre' next to it. "Looks like you both did something with your lives" I can see the cogs turning in Mac's brain. "If the hospitals still in the same place, it shouldn't be that far from here..." Mac looks over at me and I begin to pick up on what she's planning. "Mac I don't know....isn't it kind of...risky?" "Oh come on, we're in future Erin's house right now! What can be riskier than that?" I wasn't so sure. "I guess so..." "come with me" Mac says suddenly. "What? To see your brother?" I can't help the surprised expression on my face. "Yeah...I mean out of everyone in this fucked up group of girls your the one I don't think would judge my shitty life" "I don't know Mac...it's probably not the best idea to split up from the others, we don't know if those people with guns are still out there looking for us" "well as soon as I get the chance I'm dipping, weather your with me or not" Mac says as she gets up, leaving the laptop on the step next to me. She wants me to go with her? Why me? Before I can even think about that for one more second my attention is drawn back to the computer. I look at it, contemplating my decisions for a moment. Despite my brain screaming don't. I search up my name.