I know who you are -Mac Coyle

Comfort in the chaos

"Jennifer she...she told me everything" I get out between sobs. Mac's face turns cold, the softness leaving her features. "I'll kill her" Mac says as she begins to move past me and towards the door. "No! She-she didn't know who I was and I was the one who asked" Mac stops. "Why the fuck would you do that?" She asks. "Oh I don't know Mac maybe because I figured out yesterday that I get burned alive by my homophobic mother, who the fuck wouldn't be curious?!" Mac looks confused. "Homophobic?" She questions. I look down at my feet, tears still running down my cheeks. I don't know if I want Mac to know what that means. She will see me for who I really am. I don't know if I want her to see me at all.

"It- it means she didn't accept who I was...who I really was-who I am". "You've lost me" is all Mac says as my gaze remains on the carpet. I finally manage to look up, with heavy eyes. "My own mother hated who I was so much that she killed me" "Julia it's not your-" "don't fucking tell me that it's not my fault! It is my fault! It's all my fault! I deserve this! I deserve it all, I-". Suddenly Mac's arms are thrown around me. I begin to sob harshly into her fresh cotton Pjamas. I fall down to the floor, along with Mac, as she never lets go of me, keeping me held in her arms. "Mac I-" "I know, you don't have to explain, I know who you are and the person your fuck face of a mother made you out to be, isn't you"

After I had calmed down, Mac and I got into bed. For the first time in, I suppose, forever, I felt this wave of acceptance and peace. I was not who my mother tried to force me to be, and thank fuck I wasn't. I lay awake thinking things over and over. I turned my head slightly to see Mac's sleeping face. Even though she could be a dick at times, she was the only person in this world who really understood me, and I guess I understood her too. I turn to face the opposite direction and close my eyes. Then the realisation hit me. Fuck, I like Mackenzie Coyle. Like, like like her. The thought made me slightly uncomfortable but also like I was alive for the first time, finally feeling what, I've been told I should feel towards boys...but don't. I fall asleep that night with a smile on my face. God I make myself cringe. But little did I know that the short haired girl beside me had the same cringey smile on her face....for the same reason.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I noticed was that Mac wasn't beside me. This fear suddenly crept its way into my chest. I shot out of the bed and flew down the stairs, thinking some of those future bozos had broken into the house or something. When I sped into the kitchen, I feel slightly embarrassed to see Dylan and Mac having a conversation, everything perfectly fine. They both give me a funny look. "Morningggg" Dylan draws out, raising his eyebrows questionably. I shoot him an awkward smile, as Mac snickers at my abrupt entrance. I pierce my eyes through her. "We were thinking of going to get doughnuts, after I take Mac to get some bloods done, if you wanna join" Dylan suggests. I send a look towards Mac. I presume Dylan wants to prevent Mac from getting sick. It makes me happy that Mac has someone like Dylan who cares about her. "Or you could stay and have breakfast here with Jennifer, there's some musli in the cupboard" i furrow my eyebrows, as I look at Dylan. "What the fuck is musli?" Dylan just laughs. "That's what I said" Mac says, still seeming confused about what it is. "I might pass on the musli, but you two go ahead, I can just chill here" I want Dylan and Mac to have some bonding time together. "You sure?" Mac asks, looking slightly worried and slightly disappointed. I don't notice Dylan smiling fondly at the looks we both give each other. "Yeah it's cool, I'll be fine." I say, smiling. "Well we'll be having lunch with my two girls at the dinner in town if you wanted to meet us there, it's only down the street" two daughters? "Sure" I guess this should be fun.

After spending the day relaxing, in Mac's brothers million dollar house, I got changed into the clothes Jennifer said I could borrow from her daughters closet. I felt kind of awkward and guilty borrowing clothes off a girl I didn't even know yet, but I didn't have many other options. I threw on grey hoodie and  some baggy jeans, they fit surprisingly well. I slipped on my Reebok trainers that I've kept with me throughout the whole ordeal. I walked into the restaurant and spotted Mac, Dylan and two other girls sitting at a table. I made my way over as I made eye contact with Mac and she smiled slightly. As I reached the table I smiled shyly at the two girls as I slid into a seat next to Mac.

"Girls this is Julia, she's a friend of Mac's who's gonna be staying with us for a while" Dylan introduced me. The older girl was looking me up and down and I have to admit it was making me uncomfortable. "You really let her steal my clothes too" she spat out. I didn't really know what to do. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't really-" "whatever" she interrupts. "Wilder" Dylan warns, as he sends me an apologetic look. I just look around awkwardly. I notice the daggers Mac is sending towards the girl and i can't help but smile slightly. "Hi I'm Alice!" The younger girl holds out her hand to me eagerly. I chuckle as I shake it. "It's nice to meet you Alice"
"Oh give me a break" Wilder says rolling her eyes. This bitch was getting on my nerves. "So, do you have to wear a Leo-tard as you sit and spin!?" Mac ask sarcastically towards the girl, obviously mimicking a comment she made before I came to the table. I laugh at Mac's sarcasm and the irritated look on the bratty girls face. "Mac can I talk to you for a second" Dylan says in a serious tone. Soon Mac and Dylan are having a brother, sister argument while I'm stuck with Dylan's two daughters.

The older one still hasn't stopped looking at me sourly. "If you have a problem, just say it, if you keep making that face your gonna get stuck like that" I say. I hated judgmental people. "The sooner you and your dirtbag friend are of our house the better, I can't have my friends associate me with you two" she spits. She was beginning to make my blood boil. "Wilder don't say that!" Alice said, pleading with her older sister. "You can say whatever you want about me but don't you dare talk about Mac" I spit right back at her, the anger obvious on my face. "What are you two like together or something?" Wilder asks disgusted. I freeze. The stone cold look on my face falls. "No- I- well" I stutter. "I have to go to the bathroom" I say, getting out my seat quickly. As I'm walking towards, where I noticed the bathroom to be on my way in, I stop.

"Kj?" I can't believe it. Where the fuck did she come from. "Julia!" I run up and hug her, interrupting what looked like a serious conversation between her and Mac. "Yeah yeah, babysitter club reunion seems great and all, but get back to what fucked up shit you just told me" Mac says rather irritated and....jealous? Kj let's go of me and looks at me dead in the eye. "Right yeah the woman who killed those guys that helped us...she was at Mac's brothers house, she's coming for us" fear shot it's way through my body. "We have to go!" Kj said, looking anxiously between the two of us. Mac looked long-fully back to where her brother was now sitting back with his two daughters, laughing and talking. The emptiness in her eyes made my heart shatter. "I'm sorry but if you want them to live we have to go now!" Kj said, looking around the room, expecting the future assassin to barge in at any moment. "But Mac needs to get medi-" I try to protest. "There's no time to discuss come on!" Kj says dragging us through the door and around to the back of the diner. I keep glancing at Mac worried, she just had her new glamorous life ripped away from her.

Kj leads us over to a motorcycle, as there's commotion inside the diner. "Nope absolutely not" I say as I realise that this is our ride out of here. Three teen girls on a motorcycle? We're definitely going to die. Kj just grabs my hand and drags me on as I sit behind her as Mac sits behind me, wrapping her arms around my torso. Even throughout all the chaos, I can't deny the butterflies that erupted in my stomach. I pressed my cheek onto Kj's back and I held on tight and closed my eyes as Kj sped off, leaving the future woman trying to kill us behind.

As we sped down the county roads, I feel Mac's grip on me tighten and as I glance over my shoulder I notice the few tears slipping from her eyes as she cry's on my shoulder. Even though I was scared shitless. I release one hand from my hold on Kj and place it on top of Mac's that's resting on my stomach, trying to give her some type of comfort in all of this.