Lost In The Clouds wlw

Chapter 2

Is it just me who lacks absolutely no empathy for humans I seriously couldn't give a fuck about what is going on in people's lives unless I had an emotional connection to them or if I'm drawn to them romantically? 

Otherwise, it's just nothing it's an emotion I used to have carried out when I was younger and I only have soft spots for certain individuals most of them who don't actually give a fuck about me. Just small interactions that make my heart stop. Their smiles are so fabricated nowadays and I can tell almost certainly when someone is not doing okay but I just don't care anymore. Ive stopped. 

So why was it different when you walked into my life you were the last person I expected to be drawn to the last person I had expected to fall in love with. well, even though I'm unable to explain it I'm still not sure why you stuck around for so long. But here you were curled up in my bed like a small angel softly and soundly asleep in my arms and begging me to stay with you by having the weight of your body intertwined with mine. 

I believe no one individual should be drawn to having this much of my happiness to be able to remotely secrete the endorphins hormone to make me happy is not something I require when I walk through life. 

Its never truly been of any value to me to remain happy nothing lasts forever.  But here you are why? why be my diamond my shining jew in the rust the thing that I have been utterly consumed by both mentally and physically love? I find it quite cruel that you have this power over me. 

Gosh being stuck in my head and overthinking my life-long values is putting me into questioning my morals. 

Were said that each individual has halves that it searches for their entire life it's a perfect match. Why must I feel so drawn to you and be so involved with you I'm nothing more than a cheap hookup. Usually, she leaves by now but today was much more different than yesterday in fact was different. 

She looked all shaken up all frightened. I really had no idea how to comfort her my empathy and my sorrow for other people's emotions really don't come easily to me either do apologize for my mistakes. I really just tend to ignore it and move on from the situation never apologizing but I've learned from my lesson. 

Yesterday was more than physical boning each other she asked me in a soft voice when I sat there crouched in between her legs staring up at her as she sat so withdrawn to the world on a small isolated chair resting in the center of my apartment. "Hey hey look here darling what's wrong" I sat there chemically thinking with my thoughts I'd never seen her show any emotion before let alone come to me when she needed to let it out. 

Her hands were resting in mine under my chin I fiddled with them as she refused to make eye contact with me. "Darling it's okay you don't have to talk just talk when you are ready we will figure this out together okay? Would you like a drink or eat". 

"No I just want to forget" she mumbled her voice breaking slightly. 

"Of course darling it's okay you can stay as long as you need alright" I gave her a small smile and got up to get a blanket where we could both lie under. 

Hopefully, this will be able to ease her mind for a couple of minutes and would give her some comfort. Imidaitley I was stopped by a small hand tugging on the embroidering of my shirt. It was gripped firmly in her hand as I turned to face her completely my body aligned with hers. Her head was hanging down low she still wouldn't face me. 

"Please please don't leave" her stuttering had become apparent and it was slowly seeing through my blockade. 

Like I said I don't often feel sympathy for humans I lack it in so many ways. I could see myself getting lost in movies and books only caring if someone I love in the franchise had died or any animals have suffered.